Weddings, aren't they a waste of time and money?

@whywiki (6070)
Canada
April 17, 2007 11:57am CST
I have never gotten married. We live in sin. Well I am not religious so we live together and I see nothing wrong with that. I see people spend thousands of dollars on a wedding. They start with an overpriced dress and it just gets more out of hand from there. I see people that don't have two nickels to rub together and they are spending money they don't have on a big wedding. Doesn't it make more sense to use that money to make a start in life together? Maybe I am just jaded and I need a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. Am I missing something?
7 people like this
49 responses
@oiixdaii (1059)
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
No, wedding is not a waste of time and money. It is a ceremony where two person who are in love makes a promise to each other that they will love each other for the rest of their lives. I won't blame you if you don't believe in marriage. But if you are a Roman Catholic it is one of the blessed sacraments every Christian must make.
• United States
18 Apr 07
I have been married three times, and each time I had a wedding, the second marriage was a hughe $10,000 wedding, complete with limo and anything else you could desire. It all lasted about the blink of an eye, and it was gone. It took over 6 months to plan such an event and yet it didn't make either one of us love each other anymore. It caused me so much stress I spent 2 weeks in the hospital in the the middle of planning it. I believe weddings are a huge waste of money, I would never do one again. And I don't think you are living in sin, I live with my boyfriend and have for the past 6 mos, I see nothing wrong with it and I am sure others don't either.
2 people like this
• China
18 Apr 07
I don't think wedding is a waste of time and money. Certainly, people have the right to live together without the wedding ceremony, but I say wedding is an important part in a marriage. It gives you legitimate permission to to unite with the person you love, at least it is the case in my country. Besides, the wedding will be a precious memory always live in the couples' mind. When they get old, they can recollect their wedding party, that's a fun.
2 people like this
@paulsy (1264)
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
A lot of people choose to be married, and a lot choose not to be married too. It doesn't necessarily mean that those who choose to be married are definitely religious. It's just because of the different points of view each person has with another. Some want to have big weddings to show to the world that they are married, while others want it simple, just for the sake of being married to each other, and others just don't see the need to be married at all. I, personally, am not a very religious person. But as a woman, I would choose to be married, even in just a simple wedding ceremony, because I believe that wedding symbolizes that the man and woman really love each other and are committing the rest of their lives to one another.
2 people like this
@ellijah (244)
• Nigeria
18 Apr 07
yes you are missing something. what i think you are missing is that wedding is good. for a man and a woman to stay together as husband and wife is that the man must have paid the bride price of the woman .if he doesnt then they are still boyfriend and girlfriend .boyfriend stuff relationship is dengerous in the sight of god and man.if the person you called your boyfriend pass back go pay some one else bride price on your behalf and bring her home that person will be the man real wife and you mght be thrown out of the home.yeah watch out well well.shine your eyes so that you can advice your man to go and pay your bride price now now.you see i agree with you on the point about large wedding party i love it down in a small way .if you dont want yours to be down in a big way i advice you to do it the small way.those that want it big it is their lifestyle too. my prayer is that your boyfriend should go and pay your bride price quick quick in jesus name. i hope i didnt offend you with my responds if i do please write me a letter .i know i didnt offend because what i said is just the truth of the matter.stay bless
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
18 Apr 07
No offense taken, you and I are from two completely different cultures and I find it very interesting your point of view and appreciate your comments.
@aribaba (368)
• Indonesia
17 Apr 07
i see it doesn't become a big matter for You since you're not religious one, You didn't see something wrong with that. also you regard to thousand dollars of wedding, that I guess there's about wedding party. in my terms there are different things of being married and wedding party. married is when You got legal notice by Your religion or something like that. wedding party is some kind announcement ti the people that You're now husband and wife, there not much important. what i worried if You're not married is just if You have a child, there will be no legal law for Your children i think. You should reconsider about that.
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
17 Apr 07
We have chosen to have no children so that doesn't factor into the equation at all for us, I think that people with kids may want to marry so the whole family shares a last name.
@BlackBay (584)
• Canada
17 Apr 07
I think alot of people are turned off of weddings now because in my opinion it has gotten carried away with how much you spend and how different it was from someone elses wedding. Too many start their marriage in the hole(broke,lol). People have forgotten what a wedding is all about( a commitment to each other for life, and no you don't need a wedding to say your committed to each other). In the old days a wedding was to celebrate the uniting of a couple and the families would buy gifts(if they could afford it)or make gifts to help them start their life together and the families would bring the food and drinks(potluck). They were fun and joyous. I think today that most weddings get carried away and they forget what the meaning of MARRIAGE really is.
1 person likes this
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
17 Apr 07
My friend got married a few years ago to a man who was dying of cancer. They kept it simple with a potluck dinner and a ceremony in a friend's living room. It was the happiest day of his life. I know you don't need to spend thousands so I wonder why people get so carried away.
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
It's a waste of money when the couples prepare a grand wedding even if they cannot afford it. I would rather see them get a simple wedding within their budget and set aside some for their future. On the other hand, if they have money to burn, why not?
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 07
I agree. When I got married we had the money for a huge wedding but opted to spend all of that extra money on furniture for the house and such. You can get married and have a small wedding pretty much anywhere for very cheap.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
I personally think that wedding is not a waste of money and time. If you really love a person would you consider a ceremony that can solidify and secure your relationship a waste of practically anything? Weddings don't need to be grand or expensive in order to be called a wedding! even a simple ceremony and a private reception will do. More importantly, a wedding must be dominated by two in love souls longing for the holy matrimony - the frmal blessing of God.
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
18 Apr 07
A wedding is first and foremost a matter of religion. Although they are state sanctioned and churches require the legal paperwork be in order, they are a creation of religion that is still in many ways controlled by religion. As you are not a religious person it is understandable that you do not feel the need to have a wedding. The so called non religious wedding, think Las Vegas, is a creation of the last 100 years or less. A person needs a wedding on a religious level, in the end, that is how we feel the need. This explains why people who never go to church, not even on holidays, try to get a preacher or priest fromt he church of their choice to perform the ceramony, even though not legally required.
1 person likes this
@vamisola (906)
• Australia
18 Apr 07
No, of course not. When you finally found the right person, your other half, your soulmate, the person that you love and and who loves you, you need to be bind together. It is the time you to call yourself husband and wife. Wedding doesn't need to be expensive, if you can afford to have a big wedding, why not? You have the money.
1 person likes this
@Suze05 (480)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I've never been married, and I'm probably not likely to. Never say never, but it just has never been something I've felt compelled to do. I've always just lived with people, and if I'd have married all the people I've lived with I would have been married and divorced 5 times already LOL I don't ever want to be divorced, so I'll never get married unless I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt I want to spend the rest of my life with that one person. I haven't felt the need or desire to get married yet, but if I found someone who I truly and deeply loved, I would like to be married some day ..maybe. I just would have a simple ceremony and a party..no caterers, invitations, big fancy dress..just something laid back and fun. Marriage is not the wedding..and you're very right about the expense and people going crazy spending fortunes on weddings they can't afford. I think the ceremony is only important as a symbol of your commitment to the one you love..it's to join you together, spiritually..as well as legally..and to some it is an important religious rite as well. Though that part doesn't concern me. There are many different reasons why people spend a lot..just as there are many reasons why some don't bother to get married, and some choose to get married but keep it small. Some spend tons of money because they want to show off and they're worried about their image. Then, I think some people just want to make a big deal of it and go crazy because they see it as the most special day of their lives, besides possibly the birth of a child..and its the start of your life together, and they want it to be big and grand and romantic and very memorable. They want to have pictures of themselves in the big fancy gown and walking down the aisle..just to make it special and mark the significance of it.. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the wedding isn't the best part of the marriage and you end up divorced..LOL I would rather take the money and use it towards a house or furniture or something useful.
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
18 Apr 07
I dont see anything wrong with what you are doing. Everyone should make there own decissions on weather to get married or not. I have been married twice, but lived with both partners beforehand. I didnt have big weddings, cause i not into them, and i think people waste a lot of money that sometimes they havent got. My first was just family, about 25 people in my parents garden. When i got married the second time, we eloped. I had 2 kids then, and they were there, and 2 friends for witnesses and there 3 kids. We went to the registry office, and then went to the pizza hut. My girlfriend had made a lovely cake for when we went home, and we all had a lovely relaxing time. The next day we told our parents and they were really happy for us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
have you read "the wedding" of nicholas sparks? it says there that when you grow old, you will always look back at your wedding... i think that wedding is really a great way to celebrate the incoming marriage of two people in-love and willing to spend their lifetime together... its not necessary to spend a lot... just celebrate with your means and with something that you can always look back happily on...
1 person likes this
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
18 Apr 07
To each their own I suppose, but I agree with you. My fiancee and I are also "living in sin" as you put it :) And whenever we do get married (or IF we do lol), it's going to be a small, probably just a justice of the peace or courthouse thing. My first marriage, we went to Vegas and got married. Not counting the whole trip and all, package deal so was cheap, but the ceremony, limo, license, bouquet was about 200. Not too bad. I can't see spending all that money, especially when most end in divorce anyways.....
1 person likes this
@jay_em93 (99)
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
It's good to have a memorable wedding, besides you don't get married that often and if you're out of luck you'll end up being married just once because it's too expensive. I got married and i only spent a little, i never invited those people whom i don't even know, it's just me, my wife and our families, no even cousins and 2nd cousins on both sides hehe. I think what is important is that you two knows what you're doing and that you're prepared for it, if you want to spend your money in starting a new life well then good. If you have money to spend on an extravagant wedding then that's good too. What is important is that you're not suffering on your first year of marriage because there's a big debt or loan that was made to cover the weddings expenses. I don't think that it would be a good idea.
1 person likes this
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I do think wedding are way too overrated. I went to my husband's cousin's wedding. It was at a HUGE, beautiful church, they had 7 bridemaids, all in beautiful attire, 7 groomsmen, dressed the same. Beautiful fresh flowers everywhere, even a Cadillac Escalade Limo. I was blown away by the extravagence of it. But that isn't all, at the reception, they had a swan ice sculpture along with a live band. It was just too much I think. I just had a simple wedding, outside in nature, a nice dress, 2 bridesmaids, a nice rented car to drive off in, that was about it. It was still special, because that was the day I married my husband, I think that is all that matters.
1 person likes this
@pan_pan (30)
• China
18 Apr 07
in my country, a big wedding usually will take half of the couple's whole year earning. marriage become a difficult thing for youngs, because we face not only a ceremony, but also many others which need to prepare before marriage. The largest amount need to spend is to buy a house, youngs all would like to own a new house. and they will buy some new clothes for their wedding, the boy also need to buy a dimond ring for his bride, they will rent some cars to compose a car team, they will hold a large banquet, sometimes there would be hundreds of people to attend, and after the wedding, the new couple should go travelling to enjoy their honeymoon.
• United States
18 Apr 07
I think a wedding is the most important moment in your life. It should be a happy fun wedding, nomatter how much it costs. Eithout a wedding, i dont belive its a marrige without a wedding
1 person likes this
@homepage (57)
• Canada
17 Apr 07
If you are missing something...I must be too. I also have never been married amd am living in "sin". I look at weddings like you, what's the fuss. I would definitely not start my life with someone by racking up a bill I couldn't afford.
1 person likes this