my boyfriend doesn't like my new job

Latvia
April 19, 2007 8:07am CST
I got new extra job during night helping out cleaning small hotel what opened only 2 month ago. I need extra money and I work like a hore to make my living. My boyfriend is not happy that I work till 10pm. He live sin other city and we see eachother during weekends and sometimes go for lunch if he is in my city for work. I don't see diference if I work - he is not here anyway at that time????
6 people like this
19 responses
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
19 Apr 07
I would rather be working than waiting for him to come around. As long as you have weekend clear for him I see no problem. and he is just a boyfriend not husband so you do what ya want or need to do. If it was a husband I would maybe listen to him maybe!
2 people like this
• Latvia
19 Apr 07
Sooooooooooo true - Thank you! That's how I feel. And I thought i am wrong.
• United States
19 Apr 07
you have to do what you have to do to stay alive no doubt about that. if he doesnt want you working so much maybe he could pay the electirc water etc and all youhave to pay is the rent lol. since he only comes out for weekends it doesnt seem like it would be that big of a deal. unless he just doesnt like where you work. you may want to ask is it where i am working or the hours? he could be worried abotu your safety as well. if it is just he doesnt want you working late and he isnt there then maybe he is scared you arent working if you know what i mean. some guys are strange when it comes to women and work. you have to talk to him though this is one of those things you cant blow off and be like oh well it will fix its self. sit him down and talk tohim explain why you took the job. ask him what it is that he doesnt like about it. ask him how you can get bills paid but him be ok with it. maybe find that halfway point. all you can do is try to talk to him and figure it out. good luck
2 people like this
• Latvia
19 Apr 07
yeah he mentioned something about - "cute foreign guys" hehehe you could be right
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 07
lol humans are strange creatures that get weird thoughts int here head lol. i know i do. the green eyed monster will raise that head every once in awhile that is just part of life. hubby and i have been together 11 years i know he would never cheat on me but i still get that green eyed monster sometimes. just talk to him and see you never know it might make you both stronger too.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Apr 07
i've had boyfriends like that-and got rid of them. i'll tell them straight out you're not supporting me,i need to work. if he's not there at that time anyway,he has no right to complain.
2 people like this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Yes if he complains about less time I can offer him, then he needs to be there
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
hi girl..dont let your boyfriend decide what you want to do in your life..he's just only a boyfriend and not yet your husband..if he really want you to quit with in your second job well tell him that he needs to pay your bills..but it's your choice if you wanted that your boyfriend will hold your neck, sometimes we need to decide by ourselves because were the only one who can make our life happy and that's by choice..good luck..
2 people like this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Yes I do have a bf and they I don't again. If I am independent I would not worry about it. You are right.
• Malaysia
20 Apr 07
I think you're doing something right but not in the eyes of your boyfriend. Your boyfriend most probably worried about your safety since it's late night. If it was my girlfriend, i will do the same like your boyfriend. Anyway, life is complex and complicated to explain and compare with others. It's up to the situation and it will goes differently even with the same situation. You must be strong my friend, you know what you are doing, that will be ok :) cheer
2 people like this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
:) thanks. I guess I have to tell him that I understand his point of view as well
@sweetsue (759)
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
He must have his valid reasons for not supporting you with that additional work.Come to think of it, maybe he just doesn't want you to be overworked. And staying out late at night is risky. He is just concern about you. And working up so late won't do good to your health. In any case, I believe you knew better what is best for you and follow your better judgement. May you and your boyfriend will stay with each other throuhgout!
• Latvia
19 Apr 07
I apretiate his concer, but he is strange about talking - he sometimes think about one thing, but talks about other:)
@CRiley27 (984)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Tell him you will be happy to quit your second job, but he will have to pay your bills. I am sure he will then learn to adjust to you working. LOL I would not quit, and just learn to make the best with the time you and your boyfriend get together.
2 people like this
• Latvia
19 Apr 07
Yes I was thinking about the same - our time togeather will be more exciting, because we would apretiate it more. And about bill - he is able to pay them and offered me taht too, but I am that independent type of girl:)
@thefuture (1751)
• Nigeria
20 Apr 07
I am a guy and must say it is easy for any normal guy to allow his girlfriend to be staying that long in her job. I try to put myself in his shoes, but I think you try to be honest no matter what and try to let him understand that your job will not affect the relationship both of you are having (also promise him). Thanks and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Thaks nice to hear guy's opinion
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
20 Apr 07
Maybe you should have a sit down about it, find out why he really doesn't want you working so late... It could possibly be just genuine worry about you being out of the house at such a time, and he doesn't want you to get hurt? I don't know what to tell you, as i don't know him or you, and i don't know what kind of person he is, but i do see that you are a very pretty woman, and maybe he has right to worry... If it's for other reasons, then maybe it's best to explain to him that you need this, and that you can be a big girl, do for yourself as you wish, but if it's worry, maybe try and find a way to calm it for him, or just talk him through it, even if it means you talking to him on a cell phone all the way home, so he knows your alright.
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Yes i need to explain - I hope he will understand. I feel like we need to talk about it.
• India
20 Apr 07
have you ever tried asking your boyfriend why he does not like the job?!!.have you tried showing him your point of wiew.look he is your boyfriend ,he definitely loves you .he will accept your wish .just be patient wiht him.do try my idea.talk and understand
1 person likes this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
I hope he will say the real reason why he is not happy about it, because sometimes he tends to tell me things I want to hear..
@qoo_rie (428)
• Indonesia
20 Apr 07
Whew, never throw away your job bcos u told to do so. Well i think u should talk to ur bf about how u need the money n how good this job fits u. He'll understand. Maybe he just worried about you working like a horse .... he try to protect u somehow.. well we're girls anyway. n 10pm sound late for him.... well just talk... it'll solve ur problems
1 person likes this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Yeah work hours must be one of the reasons
@mari123 (1862)
• China
20 Apr 07
you want to earn extre money,i really want to do so,if you boy friend love you,he must defer you choose.although do a new extra job may lose you and you boyfriend to see eachother,but it is no reason to see each everyday,you and you boyfriend can send message to tell eathother what to do today.good luck for you
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Thank you. That's what I thnk as well. I just need to explain to him the way he accepts it
• China
20 Apr 07
my mon often told me that a woman should have her own independent career and never depent on any man.the attitude for your lover is :I would be happy with you, but if you left me alone, I could live without you!so talk with you bf and I believe no problem can not be solved.good luck!
1 person likes this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Wow it is another way to look at the situation. Thank you
@rodeotexas (1154)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Well if he doesn't want you working that extra job then ask him if he is going to pay your bills and stuff. Maybe he doesn't like you working at the hotel because of the visitors and male visitors. Could he be a little jealous or afraid that you will meet one of them? Good luck and I would keep the job unless he is going to pay for your stuff.
1 person likes this
• Latvia
20 Apr 07
Yeah foreign, male guys are one of the reasons, but doesn't he need to trust me???
• India
19 Apr 07
Hi friend You can explain your position to your boy friend and can convince him. He will definitely understand your situation Dr.satish Babu Cell: +91 040 9908184349
1 person likes this
• Latvia
19 Apr 07
I will try:)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I think you're right. If you guys normally don't see each other during the week, what difference does it make if you're working? You still wouldn't be seeing him anyhow. Not like anything would change.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19077)
• United States
20 Apr 07
You should be able to create your own future without others to tell you what they like or dislike including your boyfriend. He is the one that supposed to give you support for everything you do. It is the matter of trust. Some people are wasting time watching TV, others are working. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
20 Apr 07
He sounds just like my husband. My husband didn't want me to have my waitressing job because he thought someone would hit on me or something like that. He even came up there one day and flipped when he seen another male working with me. I think you should just tell him what's up. Tell him you are keeping the job for finantial reasons and you are not giving it up for whatever reason he has. That is what I would do.
1 person likes this
@denden (803)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
I dont think theres a problem of your job because you need a job because to make your living.and its important to have an extra job also for your needs as long as it doesn't affect your health.