My Joanie is gone.Sister passed.My heart is breaking.

@raydene (9875)
United States
April 19, 2007 9:45am CST
Alot of you know what I've been going through with my sister's illness and if you don't know I have links at the bottom of previous discussions talking about he. Joanie died this AM around 3:30..Her struggle on this earth is over..I'm glad she is gone because she has suffered so much..She had refused food,dialysis...only accepting Morphine and ice chips to moisten her mouth for the past days...I spoke to her day Tuesday for the last time..I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this and if she wanted to go.She told me she knew what she was doing and just wanted it over.I told her she would be seeing Mama and that it had been so so long since we had seen her...She said"When I get there I'll give Mama a hug for ya,Raydene"I told her how much she means to me and that I love her and she told me the same..And we said our last good bye.... She was a wonderful woman..kind..everybody's Mom...Her first marriage was an abusive one but fate gave her another chance when he died suddenly leaving her with 7 young kids to raise..It was a good thing..she later married a good man..she was always there to support everyone..never judged anyone...had a strange selection of friends..from the weirdest of the weird to the church going little old ladies...in her eyes they all deserved the same respect that she gave to her own family.I've tried my hardest to be accepting of everybody the way she was...too many times I've failed....But not her..she was just naturally a good person..I know she has earned a special spot in the next life...She could calm you with a look...she was the one I'd call if I needed to be set straight or to be lifted up..But those she left will sorely miss her..So here's to Joan Marie Gonyo Green Walker...My sister..second mom..friend..comforter..I love you and I will miss you until we meet again... http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/944732.aspx http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/952708.aspx http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/949349.aspx
21 people like this
36 responses
@weemam (13377)
19 Apr 07
Joanie your second mam and friend and sister will be up in her special place looking down on you with such pride , She helped to mould you into the lovely caring special person that you are , you know she had suffered enough sweetheart , and she told you that too , She also knows that you have a loving caring close family who can share the sorrow with you and you can all draw strength from each other , be strong pal , she knows you love her , I am just so sorry that I cant be there to give you a big cuddle , but I am thinking of you sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Weemam,My friend..I appreciate your words more then you'll ever knew and the email card was so beautiful..Thanks for being here..Thanks for the cuddle..it was just what I needed...Love ya ...xoxo
6 people like this
@weemam (13377)
19 Apr 07
I am only 2 seconds away by email pal xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
6 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
I know that Love..And I appreciate you too..I have been remembering you in my prayers hoping your leg will get better..Lava ya xoxoxo
5 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Apr 07
It sounds like you've been through a lot lately with your sister, and I wish there were something I could say, but of course there really isn't. I've been in sitautions like this before, where you're grieving and relieved all at the same time. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you.
5 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Thanks Hun..That means alot to me to know I have support out there..I can feel the warm thoughts coming my way and they are holding me up today because without them I'd surely fall. Thanks
4 people like this
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
19 Apr 07
OH dear friend, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Take solice in knowing that she is in a much better place and will no longer have to endure the pain and suffering that she had to deal with. I know that you will miss her dearly. I will be praying for you and your family! GOd BLess!
5 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Thank you Sweatheart...Those that have felt loss truely know the pain others feel...Thanks
4 people like this
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
19 Apr 07
I haven't followed your story, but I wanted to extend my deepest sympathies on the loss of your sister. She must have been very blessed to have you in her life to love and support her. I never had a sister and your post made me see I was missing something in my own life. She will always be with you.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Oh Sweetie you have alot of sisters here on mylot..I'd be happy to be your myLot sister if you'll have me...Hugs
2 people like this
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
Im so sorry to hear about your lost and at least your right her long fight is now over. I hope you can get by this tradegy.
4 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Thank you Kodie,I am feeling so luck right now to have all of you wonderful people to support me at this time.Thanks
3 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
19 Apr 07
ray, sweetheart I am so sorry about Joanie. I know how much you did and always will love her and my heart aches for your loss. I am here for you if there is anything at all I can do or you honey! Love you and am praying for you all honey! xxxx
4 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Mo,I'm worried about you...I will be ok...I am relieved that I never have to worry about her again..She will never again be hooked up to the dialysis machine..or have needles or be poked...She can be at peace now...She is with my 4 sisters ,Mama and Da and most of all her own 2 babies Wanda and Kevin will be there to finally be with their mother....We've had her all this time so it's their turn... Please do not think of me as I am ok...You must take care of yourself.I hope your wait will go by fast so you can have your back painfree again...Love ya Sweets.. xoxoxo
4 people like this
@patgalca (14416)
• Orangeville, Ontario
19 Apr 07
Raydene, I am sorry about your loss. My condolences to you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers. Take care.
4 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Thank you Pat,We can use all the prayers we can get...We are selfish and although we all told her to go we didn't want her to.. Thanks
3 people like this
• United States
19 Apr 07
First a big Hug ((())) You were loved by Joanie and she knew you loved her. She is with Mama and all of your family that past. You will get to see her again. She is with you in wonderful memories. So here's to Joan Marie Gonyo Green Walker God's speed!
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Thanks Carolee..She loved to rock the babies so maybe she's there now rocking your little grandson..It's a nice thought isn,t it..Thanks and a hug back at ya
3 people like this
• United States
19 Apr 07
That is a wonderful Idea. Nathaniel birthday is Sunday and Joanie can tell him we love him still!
3 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Joanie used to make the cutest cakes for the kids...Bet God has a great kitchen to work out of..Bet she'll whip up a nice one for the little guy...Hugs
2 people like this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
20 Apr 07
Oh no Raydene, it is hard to write this response for you as I have tears in my eyes and would really like to send my condolences to you I feel so sorry for you love as I know how much she meant to you. Well at least your sister is in the right place now out of pain and in God's hand and will definately say hi to Mama for you Ray I am sure. I bet you will miss Joan a great deal but remember that you sure have me as one of your dear friends that you can lean on Raydene as you have to get through these hard days ahead with your own life.
3 people like this
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Raydene, Till I had seen this post I didn't know what your family has gone through. I am so sorry for your familys lost and I will be thinking of you.
2 people like this
20 Apr 07
Words are not enough, my thoughts are with you hun
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Recycledgoth,I appreciate that Honey..I really do..Thanks
• Northern Mariana Islands
20 Apr 07
I really am sorry to hear that, Raydene. Tears fell down as I read your post. I lost my sister too in 2002 so I know how you feel. Years have passed already but I still can feel the pain and longing for her. I was with her when the incident that took her life happened. She was comatose for 26 hours and then she passed away. I haven't even told her how much I love her. I have showed it in some ways, but I have never told her the words. That's the one that pains me most. She was a very loving sister, just like your Joanie. I think the good ones really are the first ones to see Him, huh?! Anyways, be strong Raydene. Our sisters will be looking after us. Know that our prayers are with you. Take care and God speed.
20 Apr 07
What a moving tribute to you're sister, i am truly sorry for you're loss, but it sounds like it was maybe a release for her after all the pain of late. She sounds like a fantastic person and i only wish there was more people of this nature. She will be watching you and looking out for you. Take care xx
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
She really did touch alot of people in her lifetime..Everybody loved her..Thanks
• United States
20 Apr 07
Raydene, sweetie, i am so sorry for your loss. i know that you are glad your beloved sister is out of pain now, but i also know that i hurts to know she is gone. i am glad you got to say your goodbyes and tell each other that you love each other.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I keep going from one emotion to the next..First I know she is better off then the selfish me cries cause I can not call her to cry to...She has always for all of my 56 years been there when I need her...I'm just sad...
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 07
Ray, Darling, I am so sorry about this I really do not know what to say But please remember she has not gone she is still with you and always will be I am with you in my Heart and my Thoughts I love you and and I am sending you big Hugs here
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Your hugs are just what I need..Gabs you have been so good to me ..I can't begin to thank you enough..Thanks thanks thanks...And a million hugs back to you my special Angel...I'll be writing a disdussion after a rest about another dream I had about you and some of mylot friends.. Love you Sweatheart..xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
@jlara_gtr34 (3492)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
aw. condolences to you. really sorry.
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I apreciate your kindness.Thanks for the condolences.Thanks for responding to this discussion with your kind words.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
20 Apr 07
My condolences for you and family. Do not be sad for your sister's passing. She is now free from any suffering and has gone to be with God. Her life chapter on earth has been accomplished and her new journey to eternal life has just begun. So, pray for her soul. The only thing that you are going to miss is her phsycall present, her voice and her touch. Allow yourself to grief for a while and after that let her "go". Move on and remember her only in memory. May her soul rest in peace, Amen.
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Thanks Ellie,Your words are insightful..I believe you have had losses and understand...Thanks for the response
• India
20 Apr 07
hmmm my heart felt condolences!!!! dont worry she is now in a better place....... where she can be happy always..... God bless you!!!
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Yes I'm sure she is happy today and feels no pain....For that I'm vert thankful..Thanks for your response..
@sweetsue (759)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
It is thru loss that we gain. My condolences to you. Your sister was indeed a very wonderful person.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Well heaven has gained a new angel with Joanie arrived there..And the world lost one...Thanks for your response..
@kakuemmom (862)
• Canada
20 Apr 07
Praying for you - I will pray for you. In deepest sympathy
I know there is not much i can say that will ease your pain. I will say i am sorry for your lose i will be thinking a praying for you. Know that your sister is in a better place and will remain looking out for you. God bless you and keep you.
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Thank you Sweets and thanks for the beautiful angels..I rated your photo also.I really appreciate your response..Thanks