Blonde's Year in Review.
April 20, 2007 6:40pm CST
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February- Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March- Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!" April- Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July- Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? October- Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! What a year!!
2 people like this
21 Apr 07
You just might be a graduate student if... ...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate. ...your office is better decorated than your apartment. ...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet. ...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read. ...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar. ...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop. ...everything reminds you of something in your discipline. ...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event. ...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper. ...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours." ...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche. ...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library. ...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes. ...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin. ...you consider all papers to be works in progress. ...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore. ...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text. ...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area. ...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation. ...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation. ...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade". ...you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al." ...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy ...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry ...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards ...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication"