Is it advisable to get married just because you got pregnant?

@ivylrc (57)
United States
April 21, 2007 5:23am CST
I got pregnant from my boyfriend my family pushed me to get married because i got pregnant, i'm not ready to get married, i know there are many cases of separated couples due to this case.. please help me..
2 people like this
9 responses
@cutiedhes (509)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
I don't think so getting married because you only got pregnant is a solution to that kind of problem maybe yes and maybe no, it depends maybe because your family don't want other people make fun of you or say some words that will hurt your feelings so they want their daughter to get married. But if you are not yet ready to get married and be able to take care of your child by your own then its fine to live like that first. As they say you cannot correct a mistake with another mistake.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
Definitely not. Couples should get married because they are ready to face life together as husband and wife and not because some instance, or like in your case, pregnancy came up unplanned. Nobody should push you into getting into something you might regret later because you weren't prepared for it. Marriage doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship and a happily every after. We should be realistic and face the consequences of our actions. Marriage is a life long commitment. One should think a thousand times before getting into it.
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
i dont think it's advisable..nowadays,most women have unwanted pregnancy, and some are worried because they wanted to get married because they already pregnant..i think it's not good, because some relationship will not work, and will only end up with separation or divorce..for me, i better not to be married the father of my baby than i will suffer the pain in my whole life..
@minty3 (592)
• Nigeria
26 Apr 07
Hi ivylrc. To answer your question, no, its not advisable to get married just because you got pregnant. When you do get married, your family will not live with your spouse; its you and you alone that will live with him and bear the outcome or consequences of that decision and union. so don't allow anyone push you into a union you're not ready for. However, carrying a pregnancy to full term, delivery and caring for the baby is not a job for one person alone. you will indeed need the assistance of the man who put you inthe family way. I think you need to think more deeply about the situation and also talk it over with the guy, and sort yourselves out. But most, importantly, follow your heart. cheers!
• United States
25 Apr 07
Unplanned pregnancy is no reason to rush into marriage. You should only get married when you're truly ready for that commitment and you're absolutely sure about it. You say you aren't ready to get married, then don't do it. Especially not with a child on the way. You have multiple options, and in this day and age, there is all kinds of help available for single mothers. My neighbors got married because of pregnancy, and since they moved in, they have had fight after fight. It also gets physical a lot. Even while she was pregnant, he wouldn't hesitate. And since the baby was born, it hasn't changed anything. They still fight on a regular basis. I know this one couple that accidentally got pregnant, and elected not to get married. Their son is now 6, and they still haven't gotten married. They do live together and raise their son together, and I imagine they'll tie the knot someday, but for now, but they're happy together with the arrangement they have. And for some, marriage just isn't for them. And you don't necissarily need a man at all either. This is up to you, whether or not you guys want to stay together. My point is, don't let anyone push you into something this big if you're not ready for it. You should have a talk with all those involved, discuss how you feel, and explain that you just aren't ready.
@ctv101103 (860)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
i don't think being pregnant is a reason to get married. you said it yourself... you are not ready. entering a marriage when you are not ready will only cause more problems. i have a cousin who also got pregnant out of wedlock. her parents didn't push her to marry the guy. they just supported her. it's a good thing that they didn't marry because we later found out that the guy beats her up whenever they get into an argument. it would have been hell for her if they did get married. perhaps you can just explain to your family why you don't want to get married yet. hopefully, they'll understand. goodluck!
@paw611 (9)
• United States
24 Apr 07
NO NO NO... plase dont get married just bnecause you are pregnant,unless you really are so in love with each other... that wont do you any good in the future... but still, dont let the situation push you to any level, i've seen and knew a lot of women doing that, but they end up separated... dont worry about the "talks", it will just die on itself eventually...
• Philippines
21 Apr 07
my brother got married because he got her girlfriend pregnant and after the baby was born, they separated. my brother wasn't ready yet to be a husband but he was as a father. what i am saying here is that you already made a mistake of having a baby and now you are allowing again yourself to commit another mistake. if you are just pressured to get married, then don't. it is difficult to live with someone who are not ready to be with.
• Tunisia
21 Apr 07
Hi, Well, personnaly I think (my opinion about marige is not the most common) you shouldn't marry just because of the result of a rationnal combination, you have equated. Marraige should be a unite and not just a legal form of reponsabilities sharing. Although it is better that thebaby lives between his two parents, I think a little baby will suffer less if he never tried living with a married couple at all, than to live with both parents and expereince their daily arguments, and sometimes fighting. Look back to what u have dream about, o offer to your potential baby. If you think that marrying this man will help you prvide that to your future baby, then do it; if not think about the best way to be a good mother. regards