Is your mom your best friend

Mom and daughter with flowers - Mom spends time with daughter in a garden...
India
April 22, 2007 10:52pm CST
It's very important that a mother be her daughter's best friend..especially in the adolescent age..its more than anyone else, she needs her mom..love and affection that a mother can give has no comparision with any other relation.But when mummy needs to work and can't give time for her children..it becomes difficult for the children to cope up with loneliness....how do working ladies manage..their time for growing up daughters...and maintain the balance????????
6 people like this
32 responses
• Canada
23 Apr 07
My mom is not my best friend . I love my mom but we always end up fighting when we are together for any lenght of time . We are so different from each other and even as a child I could never get her to understand where I was coming from . I would like to be a friend to my children but this is not always the answer when we are raising our children as sometimes it really is harder to be a good parent to them then a friend . We can always take the time to listen to them but when you tell your child they can not do something they often think you are just trying to be mean and won't realize until they are older on on their own just how much you worried about them and were really only trying to look out for their best intersts . I often tell my children that I want to be their friend but if this means me having to do only what they want to have this kind of relationship then it will never work . I always take the time to talk to them and try to explain the reasons why they can not do what they may be looking to do and let them know that when they are older they will understand some of what I was saying . For sure they will not agree with everything and for the things they do not agree on they will be able to do it differently with their children as , we are only human and you will never find a perfect parent in life the same as you will never find the perfect child :)
2 people like this
• India
23 Apr 07
ya many times we dont understand each..and sometimes we become good human beings fighting with situations..and finding right solutions..finally what matters is understanding and good of all...
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr 07
No. My mother is not my best friend, she is not even my friend. What she is, is a constant source of agony. I don't know if she does it delibrately or by accident but she always manages to make me feel miserable (mostly by nagging, making disparaging comments about the way Ilook and just telling me that I'm doing everything wrong). Once in the space of a day she told me that I was too thin and then literally snatched my plate away from me while I was eating and said that I shouldn't eat so much. When I got my MBA (from a really decent univ)she said that she had always hoped that I would become an engineer. I wasted a lot of my life trying to get her approval but have learned that no matter what I do she's not going to change, so I try to avoid her as much as possible. I have kindof given up and decided to ignore her. Ihe way I look at it- I can either be happy or have a relationship with her; I'm choosing to be happy.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr 07
i think she might want u to be more efficient than others and in better position .try to think in that way .i dont know her mentality but every mother wants her son/daugther to be the best .if i say anything wrong sorry.
• India
23 Apr 07
I know that conventional wisdom says that all parents want the best for thier children and that their hearts are in the right place even if they make mistakes. Maybe. I personally think that that's a little too simplistic, parents are also motivated by a lot of their own personal stuff, their own demons and insecurities and not just what's best for the child. Though of course like anyone else I want to believe that my parents want what's best for me, but if it's not to be then it's best to move on rather than trying to pretend that something that's not there exists.
• India
23 Apr 07
There is quite a lot of age difference between us and our parents..it is obvious that not all parents understand what our generation is thinking and opting for. Communication and openness is very important. once you become successfull she will definetly appreciate your efforts and agree with you. Your mom wants you to be successful..but probably just is a bit too worried about you and that shows in her anger towards you.. God bless you..thanks for the response.
• India
23 Apr 07
my mom have never been my friend.. she is so different and has very different priorities..she is a good mom but staying together is tough
• India
23 Apr 07
ya i understand..thanku for your response.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr 07
yes moms are like that. very much.
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
Yes, I can say my mom is my best friend. We have been to so many challenges and we managed to get through with all of it. We had soooooooo many fights before, and I am sure ther'll be lots to come. It is simply unavoidable. There are conflicts of interests, so many differences.. When I wa just a teenager, we lost connection, somehow I felt like she's in the other dimension of life. That she's from the other planet coz she sees ssomething wrong in everything I do. All the while I thought I was always rignt. But she never stopped guiding me. She didn't give up. Now, our love and care for each other is much, much deeper than before. I love my Mom, my bestfriend!
1 person likes this
• India
23 Apr 07
congrats and take care..thanks for the response.
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
23 Apr 07
No, I don't consider my mom to be my best friend, just my Mother. We do get along but not the same as I would with a best friend (if you know what I mean). Our relationship is strictly mother-to-daughter and vice versa. I do love her though and always will.
• India
23 Apr 07
Its love that matters in a relation..we don't expect much when we love someone truly thats the beauty..i wish u love and affection..always..thanku for the response.
@speedy1279 (2667)
• United States
23 Apr 07
My mom has been and always will be my best friend. Yes there were times growing up that I didn't understand why she would not let me do something. But she always took the time to talk to me about it until I understood better. Moms can easily be a daughters best friend as long as she makes it clear that even though she is always there for her that she is still her mother and sometimes there will be disagreements. Growing up my mom made sure that I knew that even thought she was my mom, the door was always open no matter what time it was. I have always been able to talk to my mom about anything (and I mean anything) and I am thankful for that. Plus now that I am grown and have a daughter of my own I understand a lot of what my mom did and hope that I have the same close relationship with my daughter. Life is too short to not be close to your parents.
1 person likes this
@anonymili (3138)
23 Apr 07
My mum is indeed my best friend. I would also consider my hubby to be my best friend but also my mum. She always has time for me and anything I wish to discuss and never gives me the wrong advice. We have similar tastes in books and film so we share a lot of these. I often buy her gifts for no reason other than because I think she'll like them and vice versa. I love listening to my mum talking about her childhood when she grew up in India and the things she used to get up to. She was quite a naughty child and laughs when she shares stories of her mischief making! So yes, mum is my best friend and I guess she really is the female that I spend the most time with! :)
@mofelorn (611)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
Yes! I really love my mom so much. There's no mom that can replace her because she's my mom. She is always there willing to help in times of our need. She is a very loving mother. How I wish I can hug her but she is now in the US. I hope that I can go there this year. I miss my mom so much. I miss my dad too.
• India
24 Apr 07
oh...i wish you could go too..thanks for the response.
• India
23 Apr 07
my mom and i are not good friends.but she is my best advisor . whatever i do she tells me wether it is good for me or not .she advises how to behave and mould my character . she always gives me good support to participate in programmes .she is the best.
• India
23 Apr 07
congrats and i wish you both a lovely relation ..forever...take care..thanku for the response.
@cheenlly (3484)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
nope, unfortunately we are not best of friends even as plain friends. My relationship with my mom is purely mom and daughter thing... you know what i mean. Like superior and a slave but oh dont get me wrong i love my mom, its just that we are not that close and vocal with each other. We rarely have a talk and what we share mostly is argument and differences like we hate each other. Sometimes or should i say always, i envy my friends or soeone i see very close with their mothers like they can share secrets and very sweet with each other. well but still im not losing hope maybe someday we're gonna be like that.
@xinxin (28)
• China
24 Apr 07
My mom is not my best friend. I love her, but she always give my a hard time, she always keep nagging at me, even if tommorrow I have to get up early.
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
Yes, it's quite important to bond with one's mom. Since you get to talk about a lot of things in life and mom's has better experiences than daughters have. they give sound advices that may seem not good sometimes but always it looks out for whats best for a daughter... :) Moms should reach out to daughters and maintain the closeness because one way or another it brings out the best with the two.
@bunalice (315)
• China
24 Apr 07
I am so sorry to say that my mother is not my best friend!but of course,I treat her as one of my friend too,just not the best one.I talke most of my opinions to her,but if I think something which she maybe do not understand,I will tell my best friend whose age is near to me.
@kuting (887)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
my wasnt my best friends during those times. she was always busy with other things and she seem to be uncomfortable talking about relationships, or anything that concerns me. she was always complaining about everything so i just kept aways from her. it was only when i run away from home and was pregnant that she started showing me she cared for me. now that i have a baby of my own, i want him to consider me as his friend too.
@shooie (4989)
• United States
24 Apr 07
my mother wasn't a working mom but she had to chase after my two sisters and brother all the time because well lets say they weren't lil angels. I was the middle girl and well really saw what the other kids did and what they got for it I didn't need to try it. I didn't get a lot of attention from my mom and dad growing up but is okay. I know they loved me and when we were all older and on our own I had my time with my mom. She became my best friend. At one point she put her arm around me and said hun I hope you knew and know I love you. I told her yes. A parent doesn't have to be there 100% for their children to turn to for guidance and the closeness
• United States
23 Apr 07
My mom is my best friend. To me, there is no one on earth as incredible as she is. She is always there for me through thick and thin, and she is the only one that really listens to everything I have to say. In the 21 years I've had her as my mother, there have only been a couple times that we've really screamed at each other. We have our little fights like most mothers and daughters, but we can never stay mad at each other for more than ten minutes! Its really quite scary when we get together because we are like the same person. Sometimes we will say the exact same thing at the exact time. We can finish each other's sentences and know exactly how the other is feeling without anyone saying anything. It's like we can read each other's minds sometimes...scary. My mother has always believed that she was born to be a mother, and I have to agree with her. In my eyes, there is no other mother in the world like her.
@thanuarun (290)
• India
23 Apr 07
no i dont think so,she's only my mother..cant say any secrets or or cant say any problem she'll get angry or tensioned...lol.
@yojspew (171)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
During my teenage years, my mother is my worst enemy. We would always fight with each other. We used to argue a lot but when I became more mature, I learned to understand her and why she did those things before. I realized they were all for my own good. If my mother didn't discipline me, I guess I won't be the person I am that I am today. Thank you mother for all the things you've thought me. I love you!!!
@asmurthy (2464)
• India
23 Apr 07
Usually, a best friend is supportive of you when you need it. If they disagree with something that you are doing, they are honest about it without being judgmental with you. And, they can still be supportive of you even when they are not sure that you are right. A best friend loves you no matter what. They are accepting of what you look like. They understand your limitations, but love you anyway. If you fail at something they are there for you, to help you pick up the pieces and try again. A best friend never talks badly about you. They only want the best for you
• Canada
23 Apr 07
Sad is how I would desribe my relationship with my mother. I realize after all these years my mother didn't know how to build relationships with her children. Niether did my father for that matter. Growing up I longed to have a relationship with my parents like I witnessed with many of my friends. My parents had four children and I was the third. I was the one through all the years to hold surprice birthday parties or aniversary parties for them. I started doing this when i was 12 years old. I am the one that as worked the hardest to have some kind of normalcy our family. We all lived in the same small town. Getting together for christmas dinner at my parents was like opening up your door and inviting strangers in off the street. Still through the years I did my part to hold the family together. Family dinners, parties for my parents things like that. Now I am 47 years old. I live a quit a distance away in another city! I am still the one reaching out and giving reasons for the family to get together. For instance arranging a 50th wedding anniversary for my parents two years ago. I welcome my parents to come spend time here with me in our home for weeks at a time. Only because I am not good with setting boundaries. I mean 6 weeks is to long isn't it. I am always so concerned about making sure they feel loved and excepted. Lately though I sit back and look at the situation. Why do I do all this. I don't necessarily feel loved by them nor have I ever. My parents were the kind of people you couldn't tell anything to growing up. Good or Bad! Seriously! If you had good news that the teacher in elementry school said you were good at this or that and I told my parents; my mother would say, well you keep that up now with a little lecture and my father would say oh ya he doesn't know you like we do! I could go on and on about this. So why do I do this? I feel like more and more my parents realize their need for me, especially my mom. I feel like she thinks we are friends, but really we are not. I realize all this time I am only trying to do what is right honor my mother and my father whom I feel didn't honor me! So why do I do this? How do I resolve this within myself? Is there anyone else out there that feels that their parents are strangers to them?