Bullies - what to do with them?

@Marie2473 (8519)
Sweden
April 24, 2007 11:58am CST
Have you ever been bullied - or were u a bullie yourself when u were younger? There was not long ago that a 12 year old killed herself here in sweden after beeing bullied for years in school. The school was full aware of what was going on, but barely nothing was done about it and the only thing they advised was for the girl to change schools. First of all, why should she have to change and not the people bullying her? Why is it that the bullies always get away with it? If you were bullied - how did you cope with it? So, what is done where u live about bullies and their victims? Is there alot where u live? Were u a bullie - or bullied when you were a kid.
5 people like this
21 responses
• United States
24 Apr 07
I have been bullied and I am still being bullied even though I am older. I live in the united states of america and I think the public schools here really don't do much. The private schools here take more to the matter. When I was in the public school system everytime I got bullied the school would just suspend the person and the next 3 days that same person would be back in school starting the trouble As the first day because of that matter I don't want to raise my kids in the public school system. I could never really cope with it but never wanted to kill myself
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
glad you were storong enough yo not kill yourself, and also yjay u have decided to have your kids in private school!
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I was bullied in my neighborhood. I went to a different school then most of the kids in my neighborhood so we didn't really know each other. I remember this one time i was riding my bike through the neighborhood and they started throwing rocks at me. It made me miserable. They were mean to me at the bus stop too. But that was when I was really young, like 8 or 9. By the time I got into middle school, which is about 12 or 13, it stopped.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
24 Apr 07
well, i am sorry to hear that u were experiancing this.. noone shoul have to go throgh beeing bullied
2 people like this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Thank you. I can remember laying on my bed crying. My mother would come in and ask what was wrong and I would just say nothing. I don't think I ever told her what was going on.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
That is also common I guess. Usually the one beeing bullied is ashamed of whats going on..
• United States
25 Apr 07
I was bullied when I was in school. It wasn't until I moved to a new neighborhood in 5th grade. I was beat up, followed home, attacked repeatedly on the bus, in the hallways. I quit school because of it. People think it's a rite of passage, that is because they have never had to live through what I have. The school looks the other way. It is your fault, you are fat, or stink or are ugly or have zits or a speech problem. This is bull, people are afraid to discipline bullies because the parents will cause trouble. I hate that this is such an ignored problem. I hate bringing my daughter to school now and will even skip school functions because of the feelings the noisy hallways bring back to me. Daily abuse for 5 years straight will affect your life forever. If a parent did this to their child social services would step in. When children do it to each other it is "part of growing up". The one time I fought back I got suspended for 5 days. The next week I quit school. It's as if the goal is to get rid of the unacceptable people and guess what, it worked.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
That is just stupid,a nd that happens here as well - fight back and u will get punished...
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
24 Apr 07
i haven't been bullied ever. buth there was this girl who thought that she is better than me in every way. she looked at me from head to food with a sarcastic face. hands crossed. you can picture how she looked like anyway. up to now, i can remember what she did to me before. i still meet her since she livese in our neighborhood... but now, i look at her and smile and tell myself... i am a lot better than she is actually. hehe. i feel sad about that girl who took her life away. i hope the bulliers were the ones being punished and not her to be told to transfer to another school. what kind of reasoning is that? i hope the teachers are feeling so guilty these days. happy myLotting marie!
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
I am guessing that the teachers are feeling guilty, but it is not really their fault,. It is the schoolsystem to blame
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
Oh my, poor girl. The school should take the full responsibility for what the girl did. She was only 12 years old, for goodness sake. I just don't understand why bullies should exist in this already sickening world. Fortunately for me, I was never bullied nor my classmates. Everyone are decent and proper. Our school definitely won't tolerate such thing. They have a very strict rules against bullies.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
Yeah, the school also knew about it, thats the worst part. Now they try to cober up ofcourse...
@thegeek (73)
• Spain
24 Apr 07
first of all, all people have rights to go to the same school (not if it is a private school) so they shouldnt say that switch school what about changing the bullies, im sure everybody is happy to not be a bully themself and mostly its becouse they have very much anger inside them or they have problems at home, but people dont think bad about them, help them try to support them to do well in school to not bully anyone and just try to be their friends, i think just support them to do well in school and help them with their homework or anything...
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
Thanx for responding.
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
before i have been bullied that was when i was in grade school and i really didn't know why hey keep on bullying me. perhaps, they feel insecure because i really perform well in class so that would be the only reason i can think of. but today, i'm not being bullied anymore. actually, i didn't find it hard to cope up because it was not that harsh kind of bullying i have experienced. just those stuffs that kids would usually do.
2 people like this
@Galena (9123)
25 Apr 07
I was very badly bullied at school. the only reason I didn't kill myself is because I thought about how pleased they would be and I don't want them to have a second of happiness for the rest of their evil lives. quite simply, the schools need to start PUNISHING them for it, instead of punishing the victims (I had numerous detentions for being "disruptive" by being bullied, and was even sent to a psychiatrist because the school refused to beleive it was happening at all, so I must be mad and making it up) the school system fails so many people who they are supposed to protect. they need to make it clear they will not tolerate them doing something that can destroy other peoples lives. that can have severe long term effects on another persons self esteem. in short, they need to stop letting them just get away with it, because that sort of behaviour is downright evil, spiteful and malicious, and there is no way it should be tolerated.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
I am sorry to hear that you had to go through this when you were younger,. It is so wrong that anyone should have to deal with this and like u say - the school needs to make it clear that it will NOT be accepted!
• China
25 Apr 07
There are always some bullies in everywhere,so victims must protect themselves,or even fight back.They should not fear those who hurt others on purpose.Though it's difficult to do that at the beginning, it the only method to change this situation.VICTIMS MUST BE TOUGH!It's my way to solve this problem.I did that when I was a child.If someone dare to try me,beat the s*** out of him/her.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I was always told to ignore them or run and hide.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9123)
25 Apr 07
I was bullied for over 10 years. the fact is, it just doesn't work. if you try to get away they just follow you. if you ignore them they get worse and worse, and day after day, eventually you do break. I know.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 07
When I was in the 5th grade noone bugged me. I was quiet but had friends. I came back to the 6th grade and for SOME reason I was now the target of most people in my class. The lead was a short boy named "Danny" and they made fun of me on a constant base. Every day pretty much. It only got worse in the 7th grade, new people joining in. I was still quiet and still had friends but at the same time I was crying EVERY day. So much that my parents put me in private school or I would have gone insane. Why did they do it? DONT KNOW! Why didnt I do something about it? Its not my nature to fight back EVER! :(( I hate bullying and it really affects a persons self esteem truly! :((
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
Noone knows why they are beeing bullied. The people picking can have reasons that are not even true.. to fat, to skinny, to normal, to tall to short, to geeky, to goodlooking.. there is NO reason good enough for doing this to a child - or an adult either
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I was terribly shy and very small as a child and an easy target. I'm still small but no longer allow myself to be a target. I started to defend myself in the fourth grade. One boy kept picking and picking on me, all year long in school, day after day. I dreaded going to school. One day near the end of the school year, he came up to me and started on me again, just before class started. I'm afraid I snapped and walloped him one right in the nose. I was horrified and yet somewhat pleased as I saw his nose gush blood. Then I was scared that he was going to tell on me, but he didn't. Needless to say, he didn't pick on me anymore after that, in fact, he was quite humiliated that a mere girl gave him a bloody nose. I don't recommend that kids go around punching people, for one thing, here in the States most schools have a zero tolerance policy, and the one who defends themselves gets in just as much trouble as the bully. That is sad about that little girl, someone should have helped her. It's true that kids can be cruel, and if I would have ever found out that one of my kids picked on or bullied someone they would have been dealt with.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
It is also up to the parents like u say you would have delt with it. i hope that more parents would be like that. unfortunately many have the "well it´s not sooo bad" attitude.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I never been bullied, but if my kids ever get bullied, well then I am going to be knocking people out. I wont have it and if the schools can't stop it, I will. ANd I don't care how I have to put a stop to it. I wont have my kids picked on.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
27 Apr 07
I didn't fall in that before but I feel it, so hard to explain and it affects on that person confidence and make him/her aggressive with time. I think the ideal solution for that manner is to put the bullied ones on the same situation even if by fake situation (tricks) to teach them well ;)
1 person likes this
@des1018 (14)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
I was not bullied when I was growing up but my younger brother was always being bullied,he was 3 years younger than me and i felt bad for him because he didnt know how to fight them off,my dad would go to the school to complain about the children but that worked in those times.These days children got to find a way how to protect themselves against these bullies.I enrolled my son in taekwondo at 5 years old.Im lucky he loved the sports.It was my way of preparing him healthwise(that is I was thinking that when he grows up as a teen it will keep him away from vices..and believe me it works..he is 18 now) and to protect himself from anybody who would attempt to harm him.It is working,because he can if he wants to,protect himself with the 13 years of training he has had.Plus the discipline made him think twice before he uses it.In the Center they were taught not to start a fight but to use it to defend themselves and to compete only.Growing up,I used gave him a rule..that is if its all talk ..do not mind them,if he gets irritated,give them a warning up to 3 times max,of course you can revise a few of these rules,and I told him when he was younger,that whatever he decides to do I am with him 100 percent knowing that my son never and until now starts a fight.
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
I never been bullied. I go to school and at that time children were not that active as of now. I mean, children were still afraid of the school authorities. While now, I noticed that kids were so hyper. They sometimes wouldn't listen even your in authority. It so sad that there are incidence like this. Partly school administration should give importance to this bullying incidence. Maybe we can avoid this if we will give sometime to correct these bullies. Children who were bullies needs attention and guidance from their school administration. Most important is the guidance of parents.
• Malaysia
25 Apr 07
hi i hate bullies.we have bullies here in my country.its even got out in the 8 o clock news that a junior being bullied by the senior that the boy ended up in the hospital.its annoying to listen to these sort of events.sometime i feel like i want to be a supehero and punish these bullies.but..its nature..we always have good and boy people around us..
1 person likes this
@busy_cue (14)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
poor kid.. :( I was never a bully but been bullied when i was young even now . but what i did is that i ignore the one who bullied me and never show any fear.. because if you show fear to them? the more you will be bullied at.. just dont be afraid continue to make friends and you have to know how to defend yourself as well... just dont go near to those bully people..
1 person likes this
@JhoeAnne (57)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
i really never had been bullied before.. but if ever i was bullied.. im pretty sure that the one who bullied me won't get away from it. im going to crush his bones and make him never forget the day he pissed me off.. hahaha.. just kidding.. anyway, i don't know.. maybe ill just run away and tell my mommy..
1 person likes this
@lankie (478)
• China
25 Apr 07
There is a bundle of them.They bulley the weaker and keep themselves from the stronger than them.
1 person likes this