is your child dealing with a bulley at school?

@sanell (2114)
United States
October 20, 2006 8:56pm CST
I have a friend who just pulled her Preschooler out of a school due to a bully that is bothering him. It is not that he is mean to him it is that he just is SMOTHERING him, always around him, controlling him in some way shape or form. it is like he was afraid to just tell the kid to leave him alone and the kid would not leave him alone even if teachers told him to. Anyway, how do other parents deal with that issue? do you just pull them out of school and hope to find some other school? By the way, this kid that was smothering him lives in their neighborhood and plays with them after school too. What would you do or what ahave you done?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Cindyh2k (308)
• United States
25 Oct 06
I don't think that pulling the child out of school is going to solve the problem - that is teaching the child to run from his problems at an early age. Since the child lives in the same neighborhood, I think that the parents of both children should get together to discuss the problem and come up with some solutions that would work for both boys and allow them to continue their friendship.
• United States
25 Oct 06
I agree with pulling him out would only teach him to run. Even though his is young, it would be a good start to have him tell the other child that he needs his space. Talking to the parents (or even becoming good friends with the parents) would help a lot. Maybe the other child has something that is different with him and needs a special kind of attention (which he is seeking from the friends boy)?!?!
1 person likes this
@Cindyh2k (308)
• United States
25 Oct 06
The child in question may just feel insecure - and need attention from someone. I wonder what sort of relationship the boy has with his parents - are they abusive in any way, are there so many siblings this one gets pushed to the side, are his parents so busy they don't have time for him? I think the best thing would be to find out what is at the root of the boy's need to be so smothering - it could be that he has lost someone and he is trying to deal with that, and is afraid that he will lose other people so he smothers and clings. It could be any number of things.
@sanell (2114)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Interesting, I know that my friend said that if it were or if he were in Kindergarten first grade and starting his actual academic time in school she would deal with the issue differently but she said that Preschool is suppose to be fun, and apparently he was acting up at home, I think she has mentioned it to the parents in the neighborhood but they said that he is that way with everyone and they do not see it to be aproblem. She decided that she wanted to just take him out so that way he would feel better about school.
@ArsonCuff (3121)
• United States
28 Oct 06
I don't see why something wasn't successful at the school level of things...maybe pulling the kid out is an attention getter and the school might look into it a bit more serious, because it should be easy to stop a child from certain behaviors in that public institute if it is affecting the learning environment...especially at such a young age
@sanell (2114)
• United States
28 Oct 06
well that could be the problem, it is a montessori school and it was not during the class time that the kid would be all over her son, it was mostly during times of creative play. The teacher really did not do much to stop the behavior only because her son was not trying to create any trouble while in class....and it seemed harmless to the school. It was mostly when he would come home. He would not want to go outside, he would not want to play with his brothers and she felt that the only thing that caused this behavior change was from her putting him in this particular preschool rather than just keeping him at the one he was at orignally
@gamerz_84 (920)
• India
25 Oct 06
m not yet married.so hav got no children yet. but i was bullied once during my school days used 2 really get pissd off
@sanell (2114)
• United States
28 Oct 06
I was bullied as well when I was in school, but it was around 5th-6th gradea nd I was mostely just harrassed by the boys. I got really depressed I did not know what to do, so parents got me heavily into sports and that really helped me out a lot.
@clownfish (3278)
• United States
25 Oct 06
I would be tempted to have a talk with that child's parents. If that didn't help, I guess I'd intervene myself.
@sanell (2114)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Yeah she had but basically they did not really care too much. My cousin said that she has seen kids be that way in school at the school she would help out at and usually it was recommended that if there was a school that the child was doing better at behaviorally then to pull that student out....it would be different if they were going thrugh their ACTUAL academic year.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
26 Nov 06
I don't think that taking the child out of the school is the answer to this problem, as it could give him a bad idea on how to deal with problems that might arise. I understand why a parent would do this though, but it is not necessarily the right way to go about it. Instead I would invite the 'problem' child to play with the other children and see the interaction between them. That way, the parents could get some ideas on how the deal with the issue as well as give their own child some confidence.
@sanell (2114)
• United States
25 Oct 06
Bump to a new tag I guess...