Should i give up my first love?

China
April 27, 2007 5:11am CST
My present bf is my first love.He is a good boy,treat me as a queen.At first,i very enjoyde staying together with him.Beacuse of my job, we separated later.But we're contact by phone every day.In separate days,i found that i did not miss him so much.Now i did not miss him at all.Sometimes i am impatience when we chatted.I would like to make friends with him,not partner.Maybe i am too young to understand love.I do not want to hurt him.What should i do?Should i give up my first love?Can you help me?
2 people like this
28 responses
@bindishah (2062)
• India
27 Apr 07
If thats how you feel then maybe you should. Why dont you try not talking to him a few days and see hwo you feel. if you miss him then youd know that maybe you still have some feelings left toward him. And if you dont miss him then youd know that you are over him and need to move on.
2 people like this
• China
28 Apr 07
I have read all the comment that you gave me.Thank all friends.You help me alot,even if we don not know each other.It is my the first time to chat online in English.Do not worry about me.I know how to do.Thanks a lot.Take care friends.
@mystery5 (350)
• India
27 Apr 07
I think you should stick on to him. True, maybe you're too young to understand love. But that doesn't mean you should leave a nice guy who loves you very much! Frustration does happen in any relationship, it is normal, so don't worry. Since he loves you and treats you so well, try to give it back to him. Try to do nice things for him. Love takes time to develop - give it that time!
@Lovett (464)
• India
28 Apr 07
Hey I feel u should sit away from everyone, I mean alone n think whether u really want this guy as a bf , as a patrner for life , or just a friend. n then confront him, face to face if possible n speak ur heart out.Try to make him understand about ur true feelings for him , n tell him u would like to be in touch with him as a friend. Tell him u r young n can't take life decisions at this stage of life, n can't commit to anythin at this time,he will listen to u , I m sure.... Good luck. Hey, n a warm welcome to Mylot.Hope u have a good time here, n make as many good friends,,,,,I m one,,,,,,ny doubt?
1 person likes this
• China
28 Apr 07
hi,what's the meaning of your letter "n"? can you tell me ?
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
talk to him. say what you have to say and listen to what he have to say. try salvaging your relationship if you think that you could rekindle the love that you feel for him. but if you find out that you dont love him anymore, then be honest with the guy and hope that you would still be friends.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Apr 07
no....u cant meet,u cant talk that doesnt mean u should separate...if u think so than i think u dont really love ur boyfriend..love doesnt mean u need to talk everyday,see eachother everytime love means remmembering the person u love whenever he/she is not with u...
1 person likes this
@jeanbug23 (992)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
Well the first thing you should do is talk to him nicely how you feel. It doesn't make sense if you're still together on an ongoing boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. One thing for sure is that your feelings towards him before is just an infatuation, it will also pass away.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
yup. there's no sense at all in continuing the relationship when you aren't happy at all anymore. relationships should make happy. and it seems you aren't happy anymore... and that's obvious. so, just be true and talk to your boyfriend about it.
1 person likes this
@imbiz06 (335)
• India
28 Apr 07
no u should not give ur first love bcoz its hurt more than any other.....y to worry abt that u and he lives in a different cities,go once in a month to meet him and make ur life enjoyable.
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
you should give up your love to him. tell him that you don't love him anymore be true to your self it just hurt him if you will not tell him the truth..
1 person likes this
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
28 Apr 07
i think if you feel this way, then you probably should, as it would hurt him just as much if he found out how you feel, and you kept with him just so he didnt get hurt.
1 person likes this
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
28 Apr 07
All I can say is be true to yourself. If you need some space to think about stuff and all, tell him. Just be honest about anything, to him and to yourself. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
@tombiz (2036)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Try make a little time for yourself maybe a week or two, to know more about your feeling to him. Use that time to examine deeply your thoughts and feelings towards the person. In short, make an assessment of everything that has to do with the relationship. If at the end of the period, you feel you are looking for something else or somebody else not your current bf, then maybe its time to let him go amicably. However, if you are still feeling something for him, then go on in the relationship. i thinks doubts are the one killing the relationship here plus the fact that you are both young -- probably wants to explore things more without the other person making some rules or commitment. Just think about it for a period.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
if you said you are still young, i guess its not love that you felt but just infatuation or attraction because as i can see it, it was so easy for you to fall out of love. the best way you should do is to talk to him heart to heart in a nice way. find time that you both are in good mood so you can talk calmly and no one will freak out. yeah, you dont want to hurt him..but whatever you do, in the end you'll still gonna hurt him. by telling him the truth of what youre feeling right now is the best way to do because you'll gonna be so unfair by not letting him know the real score. goodluck girl. takecare
@galuut (25)
• Malaysia
27 Apr 07
First love at the first sight,ha,ha,maybe that's you are in now.You still have time to know him better since you are still young and just to make as friends is good idea and I don't think you hurt him since you are still a friend,one must know the different between friend and partner.
1 person likes this
@Hydale (206)
• China
28 Apr 07
I think that your age around 24 according what you said,everyone will have the first love when they falled up the true love.You will absolutely regret to loss him after you make the decision to give up him. I think that you should consider this problem by yourself,maybe the problem in your side not him. I just sugget that the first love is pure emotion.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
i think you aren't inlove yet. you're just infatuated. like you have this giggling feeling whenever you two are together. or you find you want to be with him more. but by the time you are separated just because of your job, you no longer feel the same. true love is when you love the person even if you are miles or oceans apart. the distance does not make the heart go weak for your love... but grows fonder for your love... longing to that moment when you finally will be with him again. but in your case, you seem not to be really inlove yet. you easily lost the eagerness to be with him... infact, you no longer miss him. well, i guess you should be honest with your boyfriend. if you no longer feel the same way, just tell him the truth. atleast if you no longer love him, set him free. by doing so, you are being honest to yourself. it will hurt... mostly, truth hurts. take care rose!
1 person likes this
@amitntpc (55)
• India
27 Apr 07
first thing first.dont force yourself in this relationship because choosing a partner is not a matter of joke now days.if your bf seems like a burden to you today how can you establish a long term relationship with him later?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
Hmm... something happened there? You met someone else? You're missing him and hating the distance between you? You suddenly think there's no future between you now that you're far apart? The best way to dela with this problem is to talk with your partner, communication and honesty are always the key to a good relatioship... be honest with each other, talk about what's happening, tell him your worries, your fears, your wanting to get out of the relationship, settle matters with him, you owe him honesty at least and you'll make yourself somewhat free from all these worries too.. .good luck...
1 person likes this
@iszo07 (472)
• Malaysia
27 Apr 07
Yep. I think you are just too young to understand the meaning of love. It doesn't mean you have to leave him. You can also love him as a friend. Love is just an universal feeling that sometimes you just cannot explain..
• United States
27 Apr 07
As hard as it might be to do, I think you should. It sounds as if the two of you have grown apart. Staying in a relationship where there is no longer any love can only hurt the both of you in the long run. You should talk to him though and tell him how you are feeling and that you just want to be friends with him now.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
I think the answer is in your question, you do not miss him so really what is the point of staying with him. Also you only speak on the phone, you do not get to spend time with him, go to movies ect. Your first love will probably always hold a place in your heart, but people move on and people change and sometimes its better to move on then to stay and lead him to believe you are still in love. I would tell him the honest truth, you do care about him and will always be there for him, but as a friend. Good luck!
1 person likes this