do you feel that your parents have favorites?

@djmarion (4901)
Philippines
April 28, 2007 8:00am CST
have you ever felt that sometimes your parents have favorites among your siblings, what do you do regarding that? did you confront them or just kept your mouth shut.. who is their favorite among you?
3 people like this
11 responses
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
28 Apr 07
Hi. Yeah my mom has a favourite, because she helped my sis to raise her daughter and has a very close bond with her, although she loves all our children, she will always have that xtra love for her first grand daughter which she helped to raise.
• United States
28 Apr 07
My mom is raising my sisters kids but is not close with my sister at all. She gets really mad at my sister for not helping more with her kids while she is raising them and making my mom be in financial binds at times.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
2 Jun 07
ussually the first born or the youngest is the favorite, when it comes to grandchildren its ussually the first grandchild.
• United States
28 Apr 07
I only grew up with my Mother and yes she did have favorites among her own seven kids and among her grandkids. The "favorites" changed in rank occasionally, and it was made very apparent to the rest of us. It wasnt much fun being either "on" or "off" the favorites list, and we all have issues now as adults - in part - due to that. I know she did the best she could do and had also suffered in her own childhood. I do not harbor any negative feelings for what occurred as I grew up.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
its good at least that the favorite is changing..
• Canada
28 Apr 07
It was not something I felt but rather something I knew growing up . My Mom and my Dad favorite my younger sister . There were only the two of us children growing up and my parents made it quite clear that my sister was the little angel who could do no wrong . As an adult I have confronted them about this and have pointed out that now that I am a parent , I don't understand how you could believe one child was a perfect angel while the other child could do no right . I used to take the blame for my sister when we were growing up as I has heard so often that she was my baby sister and I was to look our for her all the time . I was only a couple of years older then her and took this to a level where I would never allow her to get in trouble , I would say I did something rather then to see her get hurt . I was so sure that what I was doing at the time was the right thing but couldn't figure out why when I was doing what I was asked by protecting her all the time that they couldn't see this was what I was doing and even when they would see her do something and I would take the blame I would still be grounded . Now that I am older my Mom has told me that even though she knew I wasn't the one who did it she thought by getting mad at me that maybe I would stop taking the blame all the time but over the years nothing changed and it was just easier to blame me for everything . I was always much more strubborn and would stand up to anyone who defied me and my sister was more the one to stay quiet and charm them to her way of thinking and things always ended up in her favor . I saw this as my way of proteting her at all costs even though I hated being yelled at all the time and being grounded . It was more out of a sence of duty that I thought was required of me as being the older sister . I vowed as a child to never have favorites and to listen to all my children no matter how a situation looked when I was a parent and have held firm to this over the years . I have no favorites when it comes to my children as I love them all equally . They each have a unique way of doing their own thing and are all different and I love something very much about all of them the same as they can all get into trouble . n I still have issues that I am trying to overcome from when I was a child and have very poor self esteem when it comes to myself and don't ever want my children to ever feel the same way . I realize that as parents we make mistakes and as children we can learn from these to make changes when we are adults but the truth is no parent will ever be perfect and I am 100% sure that when my children are older they will have issues with the way I did things as well as none of us are going to do things right all the time . I always give my children a reason why things are the way they are and explain to each of them that if they don't like my rules that when they are older they will have the right to change anything they want with their own children . No child is ever going to be happy about the way things are all the time but what I am trying to do is raise my children to have a happy childhood that they will look back on fondly instead of looking at things as a nightmarish situation that they would never want to face again . I want them to realize that although I am not perfect that I was trying the best I could and to be able to have a good relationship with them when they are older and to be able to talk about when they were younger without worrying that it will lead to a fight because of the differeces in how they feel from the way I feel .
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
30 Apr 07
ohh. sorry to hear this experience of yours i know its really sad to know you are not the favorite one.
1 person likes this
@aj2006 (1536)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
Me, is my Mom's favorite! hehehe! I like it.. but of course, My mom loves us all..
• United States
5 Jun 07
I think my mom favored my older brother. But, maybe that was for the best. He passed away shortly after he left home, and she never got over it. I think he deserved the favorite status, cause he helped raise me and my little brother. And, since he didn't get to live very long, at least his life was happy. Sometimes the universe knows more than we do. Be well.
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
yes, good thing i am their favorite. :)
@vhinjc (342)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
i do, as a matter of fact my parents favorite is my youngest sister. its oaky for me since we all love her.
@stdrst (471)
• Bulgaria
29 Apr 07
Yes, I feel this sometimes. But almost never. My parents love me and I can see it in everyyhing they do. That's all.
• India
28 Apr 07
Yes i have felt parents have their favorites among siblings. We should talk about it to them. Its always better to open up and speak about whatever we feel then we get a solution for it. There is no solution if we keep our mouth shut. This will not give any output, instead we tend to suffer more.Among us all are their favourite because we speak out.
• United States
28 Apr 07
I think every parent that has more than one kid has a favorite. I think my little brother and I are my mom's favorite. I don't say anything to my mom about it though cause my other siblings have a lot of unsolved issues that they are dealing with and it puts a lot of stress on my mom. Before my dad passed away, my 2nd oldest sister was his favorite! He would do and give in to her all the time. It was quite annoying cause the rest of us had to fight for his attention yet he would run to my sisters aid!!
• United States
28 Apr 07
i can see how some people might think their parents have a favorite sibling, but think of it this way. maybe its not that they are the favorite, but only that one sibling has interests or a personality that is easier for one parent to relate to. perhaps one child shares something in common with the parent that the other sibling doesn't. they could be closer to that child for that reason.