will someone accept me even if i already have a daughter?

Philippines
April 28, 2007 8:48am CST
im leaving my boyfriend for 4 years and we have a daughter together. im leaving him for good because he cheated on me and because he said he dont love me anymore. im only 24 years old and im afraid that i would never fall in love again. im afraid that no man would accept me for having a child. any advices???i wish i could find a man in the future who could love me and my daughter also.
7 people like this
35 responses
@34momma (13920)
• United States
28 Apr 07
oh honey you are going to be just fine. there is a man out there that is going to love you and love your little girl. you have to trust in that and have no doubts. you have to first make sure you put the relationship you are coming out of behinds you. you have to take some time to yourself. don't think about getting into another relationship for at least a year. take this time to get to know you again. to share with your little girl. i have found in my experience when you take some me time to yourself, you get to take the time to ask, what do i want? and that is an important question. you will be fine, i know it. be blessed and be grateful
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
Thank you so much! i am not thinking of getting into another relationship soon because i want to get my old self back and focus on my daughter. she needs me more now that her father left us with nothing to hold on to. i need to be strong for the both of us. thanks again
@tater03 (1766)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. But it takes a strong person to leave a terrible relationship for the betterment of you and your daughter. I wish you tons of joy and happiness in the future. To answer your quetions yes, I do believe that there are men that will love you and your daughter. I am sure that you might have a few relationships before you find the right man but I feel that it is entirely possible for you to find someone to love and someone who will love you and your daughter.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
thank you so much for the responce. i do sometimes feel i've lost my self confidence because of what happened to me. i just wish that God would not let my daughter get hurt. ill try to focus on my dauther first and then to myself! Thank u again.
@leedug (921)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Many many people with children break up and get divorced all the time. Many also end up with better partners whether they have children or not. Yes, there are men out there that will not date women that already have children, but there are also many that will. If someone is truly into you, then your child is a bonus, not a burden. You've definitely made the right choice in leaving someone that has cheated. Just concentrate on your daughter, and I am sure Mr. Right may come along before you know it.
1 person likes this
• China
29 Apr 07
dear wesker311, wish you and your daughter can live happy everyday, don't worry , just beleive that your Mr right will come to yourside soon or later. If a man loves you, he'd not care whether you have a daugher or not and would love your kid and treat her as his own. Wish u can be strong ! Goodluck and bestwishes!
@mama4kids (690)
• United States
29 Apr 07
i met my husband when my daughter was only 3 yrs old. not only did he accept her, he is her father now. oh and i am white, my husband is white but my daughter is half black. so there is hope out there. dont ever think that there isnt. if a man doesnt accept your daughter, you dont want him anyway. good for you leaving your cheating boyfriend. you deserve better. you will find someone that loves not only you but your daughter as well. i now have 4 kids, my daughter and 3 sons (from my husband). they are all treated the same. so dont worry. dont look for someone, he will find you!!
@Impervious (1154)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Don't sweat it dear, From a guys standpoint I never minded going with a woman that has kids. My only rule in dealing with these situations was that the kid does not have to like me but they will respect me. Other than that I was good to go.
@derek_a (10904)
29 Apr 07
I am sorry to hear what you are going through, but nothing is forever. I have been through similar myself, many years ago now :-) If your boyfriend has said he doesn't love you, then you are probably wise not to continue in such a relationship. There are men who will accept a woman if she has a child. I know because many of my friends have done this and have really good relationships with both mother and child. I will say though, that it is best always to be honest and up front with potential partners, so that he knows that you have a child. Then if he loves you, that would not make any difference to him at all. I would say the important thing is to make sure of your own feelings also, when you meet a new man, because if you find yourself with someone you don't love, there would be further problems. I would make sure and take your time. It may seem that you will be forever alone, but 24 is still a young age. Meanwhile, enjoy being with your daughter and the life you have together and allow life to bring you further opportunities without looking too hard and risking a mistake through rushing things.
• United States
29 Apr 07
dont worry...one day there will be man that will accept your daughter and love her as his own..just gonna take time..and it will just sneak up on you..just advise: dont go in search of a father replacement for your daughter..when he comes you will know it..you will fall in love again, maybe more than once..just dont lose your head and forget whats the most important thing/comodity that you have..your precious daughter..and on the upside..if it doesnt happen for whatever reason..its you and her AGAINST THE WORLD! men come and go..but your children are FOREVER!!
@fazelath (1185)
• India
29 Apr 07
u are just 24years old,u are young and i think this is the right age to get married,when women of 40 years with teen age children get married,u are very young and why cant u,just wait time is a good healer and u will also find your true love,love is blind,when someone fall in love they except u as u r,he will surely except your daughter too,best of luck
@margmats (27)
• France
29 Apr 07
I'm shore that you'll find the man for you that will love you and your daughter, it may take a while but it will happend! ;) Best of lucks and be strong!
@student7 (1004)
• United States
29 Apr 07
The right man is out there for you. You must make sure that he and your daughter get along. If your daughter tells you that she doesn't like him. Listen to her. As far as finding another man for your life. Don't worry. I would be concerned about your daughter. I would also take some time to be single and enjoy your daughter because children do grow up fast. You are still young. Twenty four is not old at all. You will find some one. It may take awhile but some one will come into your life and just take your breathe away as you will with him. If you do find somebody and they don't accept your daughter, then they aren't worth it. Don't worry about it. Just take some time for you and your daughter.
@robert19ph (4587)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
Everybody in this world deserves to be loved and you're not exempted to that. You should be thankful that you've learned as early as now that your bf is cheating on you while you still have one child. What you felt now is just normal but as days go by you'll meet someone that will really love and accept you who you really are together with your daughter. You deserve better than him. You're so young and you have all the time to find one, the right person for you. You did the right thing in leaving him for he did it once he'll do it again. Be strong for your daughter.
@alicebun (204)
• China
29 Apr 07
I think everyone in the world must be loved by someone,so do not worry!You will meet the man who is really love you and also your daughter!
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
Don't worry dude, someone will love you wholeheartedly even with your daughter. A man who loves you both is a man who truly shows love to anyone and is a real man.
• Melbourne, Australia
29 Apr 07
I met my husband when my son was almost 3yo. My son's father had left me when I discovered I was pregnant and has not ever seen his son. My husband did not care that I already had a child as we can't have children anyway together. Men don't really care if you have a child to someone else and those that do are not going to be any good to anyone in the future.
• Singapore
29 Apr 07
I'm sure there's hope for you to be loved by another man. There are millions of men out there so I'm sure there's someone for you somewhere out there. There are many cases of men who have in the past married women with children. Sometimes, these women are already much older than you. Moreover, they sometimes already have several children. You are still young. So I feel that this would work to your advantage. All the best! :)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
I think yes, if he really loves you and loves your daughter. But my older sister have the same situation as you are, thay broke up with her boyfriend last 3 years ago and their son is 4 years old, then she had her boyfriend last year, they broke up because the parents of her boyfriend last year know that she is a single parent and they dont accept her son. But i think eventually there will come a time that my sister will find her true love that will love her and her son.
@pendragon (3354)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Accept yourself first, put you and your baby in the first priority slot, and then YOU find someone to accept. Not the other way around.Be strong and confident for you and your baby, That's attractive.
@Nardz13 (5060)
• New Zealand
29 Apr 07
Hey there, first of all good for you, on making one of the hardest decision a woman may have to make in her life. There are alot of sincere men out there that will gladly love you for who you are and love and raise your daughter as his own. Just be proud of yourself for taking the first steps to getting out of a relationship that sounds one sided. For strength in future, just keep focused on the life you want for you and your daughter and think about all the positive things in life that are coming your way. I truly congratulate you for your strength to leave, there are many woman out there, who only dream about leaving and cannot find the strength to do it... Awsome stuff and all the best in future...
• United States
29 Apr 07
Absolutely, just be sure that you are ready for that. I would definitely make time for myself since its been so long since you have been alone and get to know yourself again and your daughter. Also, be VERY careful as to dating and who you bring around your litle girl. I Would date a few times before even leting your daughter meet them basically to make sure its going to be something serious becuase having multiple guys come and go could confuse her. Also, be careful as you do not truly know someone until youve known them for quite some time and having young kids can be trying and just know that not all people think like you do and you dont want anything happening to your little girl. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Just be positive and things will work out. And in time you wil find someone that will accept you for who you are and everything you have to offer.