Do Parents have a right to spank there children, do teachers?

@winterose (39887)
Canada
April 28, 2007 11:46am CST
In Canada where I live, a parent cannot spank their children anymore unless it is a light tap on a diaper. Authority feel that the diaper is sufficiently padded that the child will not be hurt in any serious way. If you beat your children, the authorities will come in and investigate. In my day teachers were allowed to give the strap. Now teachers are not allowed to touch a child. Do you believe that these new ways of dealing with children are justified. Or should a parent still be allowed to spank their children? Should a teacher be allowed to administer the strap, or canning or whatever form of physical punishment is customary in your country?
16 people like this
41 responses
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
28 Apr 07
When I was growing up, parents were allowed to spank children, as were principals. Teachers weren't allowed to, however. My principal had a paddle, with holes drilled down the middle of it. But now, everything has changed, and if you hit a child, it's considered child abuse. I don't agree with a teacher administoring the strap, or canning, or any other physical punishment. I don't even agree with a principal being allowed to do it.. I feel that the parent should deliver punishment - in form of grounding or something of that nature. Although in my day, punishment meant going outside, standing in front of a tree, trying to figure out which "switch" to pick.. Thinking "If I get that one, she'll send me right back out here.. That one will break my spine.." ..Usually by the time I got back inside, the anger had disspated, and I didn't get the whipping I was promised...I have a feeling that they were all inside, just laughing it up. I think it's a good thing that there are now spanking laws, because violence shouldn't be taught, and if you spank your kids, that's violence, right?
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
29 Apr 07
Thank you very much for the best response. =)
4 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Growing up in the 70s and 80s spanking was allowed and was not considered wrong, unless it crossed certain boundaries. Our principal had a cane and whoever got out of line (and I mean it had to be very serious) got the feel of it. I think parents should be allowed to spank their own children but not others, and I don't think schools should have the right to spank my child regardless of how bad his behavior is - that should be mine and my husbands responsibility and not the schools. They can discipline by suspension and even expulsion but not the physical punishment of my son (hope that makes sense). In our culture, spanking and even beating up your children is considered normal (sad but very true). One scenario, my husband when he was 18 years or maybe a little younger, he got the beating of his life (he crashed his mother's car and was lucky that he survived with minor injuries but the car was written off). His father gave him the belt (several times) across his bottom and legs and also used a cord (he started to bleed). He says it was the worse he has ever received from his dad and even though he said he deserved it because he took the car without their permission, I think it scarred him for life and he is very weary when it comes to disciplining our son. He refuses to lift a hand to him and uses other methods of disciplining.
@smacksman (6053)
28 Apr 07
Smacking a child is ok in my book, SO LONG as it is done early and long before you loose your temper. If you do it early and often when they are young then the threat is always there in the future. Don't you think there is a big difference in the words spank, smack, caning and beating? A smack on the bottom of a child (or wife come to that) is ok but beating is not acceptable.
5 people like this
• United States
28 Apr 07
I do believe a parent should be allowed to spank their child not beat them but spank. As a child gets older though there is other ways to discipline them. A spanking is over in a matter of minutes but if you take away a few of their things that they enjoy such as television watching, computer use, or going and spending time with their friends that makes a bigger impact than a spanking. I do not believe that a teacher should ever spank a child and the way that they did years ago is as far as I am concerned they abused the child. No child should have a strap taken to them. That is the parents responsibility to take care of punishing the child and not to go overboard on it either. The thing about it is a parent is only a phone call away so I would expect the teacher to call me and tell me I need to leave work and to take care of my child's misbehaving.
• United States
28 Apr 07
One other point is if you spank your child you are humiliating them. What purpose does that serve. None. Another thing is we are always telling them that hitting is no way to take care of a problem that there are better ways to solve it. Parents need to listen to these words that they give out so willing to their child before you rear back to spank your child. Isn't that considered mixed messages.
5 people like this
@smacksman (6053)
28 Apr 07
I dissagree sunshinelady, humilliating them is exactly what you are trying to achieve. You only need to do it once and they will remember it forever. People on this forum are talking about it because they REMEMBER when it was done to them and it made a huge impact on them. It brought them into line. Are they now a worse person because of it?
4 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
28 Apr 07
I feel parents have a right to spank their children, spank but not abuse. They know best and will act in the best interest of the child. For teachers to spank the child, I would not agree. Teachers are supposed to teach the child. If there is anything that requires to punish the child, the parent should be told and the decision should be left to the parent to spank the child.
5 people like this
@crackhead (1826)
• India
28 Apr 07
Well spanking children is not a good idea, when we want the kids to listen what we say. Spanking can make them rigid and they don't have that mental strength to think why they are being spanked. Tell them in a soft manner explain them what they should do and what they should not. A soft and gentle way of dealing things can make a lot of difference with kids. Who ever it is no matter kids are not supposed to be spanked in any kind of situation. Teachers need not hit a kid to teach them things, so i guess that is a healthy approach. Physical punishment will leave kids with a lonely feeling which can result in any way. Thats really nice to hear that parents are just allowed to tap a kid on the diaper. In India things are different i have seen many kids being spanked by parents as well as teachers to explain them things. Hope situations also change here, right now it is like this , 1) Explain them in a cool manner, 2) Tell that it is not a right way to do, 3) Give them the differences and consequences in a bit high voice, 4) Hit them and then force them to do things in the way u think.
6 people like this
@oriental (1050)
• Uruguay
28 Apr 07
I think it's all right that teachers don't administer the strap or any other form of physical punishment. But that parents cannot tap their children is going to the extreme.
3 people like this
@Stiletto (4579)
28 Apr 07
I don't think that anyone should be allowed to hit a child nor should there be any need to do it. Adults should be resourceful enough not to have to resort to hitting in order to instill discipline in children. That applies to both parents and teachers - any adult in fact. I know a lot of people make the argument that they were physically punished as children and it didn't do them any harm. So what? A lot of things happened in the past that we don't view as acceptable nowadays.
3 people like this
@fawcey (926)
• Australia
3 May 07
I agree with this way of thinking: 'that a lot of things happened in the past that we don't view as acceptable nowadays.' This is something a lot of people like to use as an excuse or a reason to hit their kids,the "I was smacked so why shouldn't I smack my own kids" mentality is wrong. I was smacked as a kid and I don't smack my son as I don't believe it taught me anything other than, parents can hit and get away with it. I am not saying it did me any real harm, but I still don't agree with it. Hitting another adult is considered assult, why should kids have less rights?
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Apr 07
A Parent should be allowed to smack their Child to a certain extend only hard enough for the Child to know it has done wrong Teachers should not, I know when we where at School teachers where allowed and some of them took advantage of it which I thought was wrong So no I would never have agreed with a Teacher smacking my Kids as it was my Job to discipline them when they did wrong and I would have expected to be informed and punish my Kids my way I hardly had to smack my Kids a look or a certain tone in my Voice used to tell them they had pushed to far
3 people like this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
28 Apr 07
Hi Winterose. I am of two minds on this, Children need to be taught that we mean business, and a smack on the bottom does get their attention, Now that being said, my granddaughter is as smart as a whip and was not in need of discipline until the terrible two's when temper tantrums were part of an everyday thing, She threw a major hissy fit when she didn't get her own way, My daughter started to give her a spanking to make her stop, it didn't stop it it got worse and she began hitting back. my daughter was in a vicious circle and didn't know what to do, so one day I asked Aubrey why she hit mommy and her answer was she hit me first. So I asked her what could mommy do because she wouldn't listen to mommy when mommy said no. her answer no say no.Very soon after that she seemed to understand that she couldn't have it her way all the time. and finally understood the word no. About two months I overheard my daughter saying to Aubrey What part of no do you not understand, Her answer I understand it, I just don't like it. My granddaughter is a wise little creature,
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Apr 07
God Lover, she is a wise little one.
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
28 Apr 07
There is no such rules implemented in my country yet. But I would readily agree that teacher should never use spanking as a form of punishment for the student. Canning or strapping are definitely considered a serious offense. In reality, they have no right to do so. As a mother, I wouldn't allowed anybody to spank my girls. I don't believe that spanking is a ground for disciplining our little ones. I will simply get one of their favorite toys in times when they are having those little mischiefs.
@kkerix (403)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I believe in corporal punishment there is a time for a spanking. There are times when reasoning is not enough. Anyway most of the experts say you really do not start to really reason things out until at least 10 years of age. I was spanked, at home and in school and it did not destroy me mentally or physically. I see the children that have never had boundaries set running wild through stores and other public places with absolutely no respect for other people, all you hear is I want I, I, I,I want. the parents if they have any morals look ashamed by little johnny or little sue but they will grow out of it. Well the truth is they grow up to be big examples of what they are now. There is a big difference between a spanking, and child abuse, lol. Spank the little brats less they get close enough to me in the store, Gee I don't know how little johnny wound up getting his fingers massed under my boot. I hate to see or have to have my shopping trip ruined because you can not control your child. I say you in here all of the You's know who they are, there are alot of us out here that do not think your kid climbing up to see what we have in our cart is cute at all, lol. I would never have dreamed to do anything remotely like that when i was 5,6,7,8,9,10, and guess what I still don't do it. A lot of little johnny's fill our jails now.
@akablush (21)
28 Apr 07
I think it is why we are seeing more and more violence with children. If parents weren't being governed in their parenting skills, more and more would be laying down the lines with their kids now a days. but due to being 'scared' of the cops getting involved, parents tend to blow it off and let the child get away with out punishment. Its a shame too. *side note* I remember being yelled at if I didn't properly speak to an elder (like saying 'yes mam or yes sir' an 'please and thank you'
4 people like this
• United States
29 Apr 07
As with any punishment for children, moderation is key and age appropiatness essential. I was spanked no more than five times as a child, and after that, all I needed was my mom to start counting to three for me to listen. When I was spanked, it was not done in anger, as my mom had first given herself time to calm down. It was a consequence for not doing as I was told, not as a means to get to get me to do it. Because of this, I did not learn that hitting was a means of getting one's way, but simply that my mother's commands were not to be ignored. She certainly earned my respect this way.
3 people like this
• United States
29 Apr 07
This sounds exactly like my childhood!lol It is like remembering my past. I really could not have explained it better myself avbprincess!
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
28 Apr 07
I think parents have every right to spank their kids if they feel it is necessary!! I understand not beating your kids, but a spank on the bottom every now and then is okay. I live in the States and I do spank my kids sometimes, not very often, but if they are being really bad I will swat them. In out public schools you have to sing a consent form saying it is okay for the school principal to spank your child if they are acting up. I don't want someone else spanking my kids so I did not give them permission, and if my daughter gets in trouble (she never has so far) they school will call me and I will deal with it, I don't want them spanking my kids!
3 people like this
@mememama (3076)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Well I don't believe in spanking my son, so if a teacher did I would have him or her charged with abuse. It's overstepping the bounds, a teacher is there to teach my son, not to hit him. I'm not sure how I feel about laws against parents spanking children, I don't do it and I don't get why others do either. My mother didn't spank me or my sister and we're great people.
3 people like this
@knight06 (43)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
Well, I think parents should avoid spanking their children or should not spank their children at all.I believe it will become a traumatic experience for children.Moreover,when they grew up they will be adopting the attitude and will also probably do it to their children too.It would be better if we could just talk to them and explain the unacceptable behaviour they made.Likely,teachers have no right at all to hurt our children.They should be there to teach and not to spank any other child.
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
In my country, Philippines, we do have same rights. Though some people here do abuse their children, emotionally or physically most of the times it's never reported. In my opinion, you should not spank or hit your child unless the child is really, really necessary. You should talk first, spank later.
@iszo07 (472)
• Malaysia
28 Apr 07
Of course parent should have right to spank their own kids. If not, how are we going to educate our kids? Sometimes we have to show some authority to our children so that they listen to us.
@yojismo (28)
• Philippines
29 Apr 07
All depends on the legal stipulations we have in our respective location. But based on what we have studied in child psychology, physical punishments serve its purpose only when coupled with an explanation of why the physical punishment. because if a child is spanked or strapped or whatever, he/she will remember the pain and maybe he/she will not do the bad deed again because of his/her fear of experiencing the physical pain again. but of course, we wouldn't want that. we prefer that the child would not do the bad deed again because he/she has learned the reason why it is not right to do that deed. And besides, if we keep on implementing physical punishment, we might intensify it's degree of severity beyond what is appropriate because we, ourselves, are in an emotional state. Hence, the child might be suffering from an unjustifiable amount of physical pain--we might spank him harder than we should because of our own emotions. but most of all, i think teachers do not have that much right to hurt a child. they should leave it up to the parents. the bottomline is, let's be gentle instead. we might go beyond our boundaries
2 people like this