If your partner/girlfriend/boyfriend got really fat, would that bother you?
By samrat16
@samrat16 (2442)
India
April 30, 2007 11:40pm CST
I'm male 29 years old and married since june, 2003. I used to take care of my physical looks a lot and recently due to work overload have stopped going to gym and jogging. Suddenly, I find that my tummy is hanging out from my shirts and tshirts. I'm very much aware about a person's looks and now feeling kind of guilty of getting fat. I asked my wife regarding this and she told me she really loves and cares for me and this doesn't bother her. But I somehow felt that this should have bothered and she should have asked me to go for walk,jogging and gym again.
So, my question to you is if your partner is getting fat day by day, will it bother you. Will you help him/her to reduce weight. What will be the tips you will be providing him/her to lose weight(guess it can work for me too.) and will it make any difference in love for him/her from your side?
27 people like this
81 responses
@Whisp1976 (488)
• United States
1 May 07
My husband is chubby and he was even fatter when we first met. He lost alot of weight after that bacause the extra pounds he had been carrying were from comfort eating. When I made him happy he no longer felt the need to eat in order to feel emotionally content.
I atually like chubby men. I guess somebody has to. If my husband gained all his weight back my only concern would be over his health. I don't want him to have a heart attack or stroke.
My advice to you if you want to lose weight is to eat what you want. The secret is to eat only when you are genuinely hungry and to stop munching before you feel full.
6 people like this
@Strawberry_one (243)
• United States
1 May 07
If my partner/boyfriend/husband got really fat it wouldn't bother me if it didn't bother him. If he wanted help getting his weight down I would support him and even go with him if he went to the gym. I mean not everybody can stay stick skinny and fit their whole life. If you've been working then it's not your fault. Things happen, you shouldn't get upset that it didn't bother her because she loves you for you, not your physical apperance!
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
1 May 07
Thank you for your support. I know she loves me a lot and she won't harras me anytime for getting fat but I have this guilty conscious now that I'm not in best of my health and physical condition. Yes, I have been working real hard for future and seeking growth in business. Thanx once again for responding.
3 people like this
@Strawberry_one (243)
• United States
1 May 07
Sweety I post back to almost all of yours and you know I'd give you my opinion. But it's not all about looks on the outside it's what's on the inside. Now if my love started getting large and I thought that there was going to be some health risks then I'd have him make a doctors appointment to see other wise I wouldn't worry so much as long as he was happy!
3 people like this
@angelofdeath (345)
• Philippines
1 May 07
i guess i would and i think being bothered is natural for a boy/girlfriend. i mean, i f he /she didn't care, it's either she/he likes you beiung fat (which is quite impossible) or he/she doesn't care about you at all (this is more possble than the latter).
I think it is natural in a such a way that your boy/girlfriend just cares about your health and the health of your relationship. i mean, everyone has dream boy/girlfriend and i think it is everyones dream to have sexy boy/girlfriend.
3 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
1 May 07
if i really loved the person,no it wouldn't matter to me.if it was such an increase it hampered their breathing,walking or ability to be comfortable,i would be concerned for them,though.
but as far as me turning my back on them,no i wouldn't.
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
1 May 07
As a person gets older and their life style changes so do their bodies. It is not a bad thing, but if your partner points it out and suggests ways to get back into shape you should try. But I truly believe that looks or shape is not relevant to the feelings. A person's looks and shape have to change over the course of time...that is a fact that can't be changed. If you love somebody truly nothing matters except your love.
As for losing weight now I would suggest a low calorie diet and an increase in physical activity. You are still young enough to be able to work the fat off relatively easily. walk during your lunch breaks or jog even. Park your car on the furthest side of the parking lot and walk. You won't need massive changes just smaller changes.
Good luck to you hope it works.
4 people like this
@dana234 (2114)
• Spain
1 May 07
If my partner would get really fat, it certainly wouldn´t change my feelings for him, but I´d worry about his health . If he didn´t have the time to go to a gym, I would suggest going running for 20 minutes on weekends or whenever he can find the time. Another option would be doing exercises at home. Yoga is a great way to lose weight and to make muscles firmer, but it´s not everybody´s cup of tea. I would give him tips and encourage him to lose weight.
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
1 May 07
I agree with you that yoga is best way to get weight reduction. Seems generous of you to help your partner and let him lose weight. Yoga-if you do it right that means not just the poses but actually teach yourself how to breath correctly through your stomach as you do the poses, helps with your whole body system. Helps your breathing, helps your metabolism, helps your body work the way it is supposed to and thats why alot of the time people loose weight because their bodies are working correctly. It is hard though because people start doing yoga and just do the poses. The poses help your stretching but when you do it correctly your body will respond.
@alanna_liadon (189)
• United States
1 May 07
If my sweetie gained weight it would not change that I love him - nothing could change that. However, it would change our marriage because I would be a lot less attracted to him physically. I would be very concerned about his health. Both of these can easily strain a relationship.
Plus, he expects me to stay in good shape, so I think it's fair to expect the same of him. If I am not in good shape myself I know he would look at other women and wish I looked like them, even though I know he loves me. Since we expect this of each other, we often go walking or jogging together and that helps both of us to stay in good shape.
1 person likes this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
1 May 07
Nice to hear that you love your partner a lot. I think physical attraction is less important in realtionships then mental attachment. I also want me and my wife to stay in best of our physical condition so that we don't catch any disease that is high blood pressure or become diabetic. Gret even we are thinking of joing gym together and start jogging once more.
@mariyamaka (931)
• India
1 May 07
It will bother me because over weight people are more prone to heart attact,blood pleasure and etc etc! it is not only matter of apperence but question of health!
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
1 May 07
Well, when I married my hubby, he was in a good shape. But because I am quite a good cook, he started eating more than before and becoming bigger and bigger. Honestly it did bother me as I started concerning the consequence of his health condition like high blood pressure or heart problem.
Therefore, I decided to tell him how I thought about this and he started blaming my cooking.
Finally when he went to have a check up, he was warned by the doctor, which really made him make up his mind to go on a diet.
Now he is almost fit as he got married. :-))
To answer you, if my hubby got really fat didn't bother me; what really bother me was his health.
1 person likes this
@andreaskye (390)
• United States
1 May 07
Basically I was going to replay with the same type of thing. if you love someone , it is not going to matter looks wise unless their health begins to fail and then naturally you are going to be concerned.
@joyce959 (1559)
• Philippines
1 May 07
It wouldn't bother me if my partner/hubby becomes fat. Although we gained weight since we both get married, we don't consider ourselves to be fat. Even if our tummies bulge later on, it doesn't matter, because looks or appearance doesn't matter if you really love the person.
If you are overweight, I suggest you have to watch your diet. Dont sit or lie down after eating because this cause your tummy to be bulging. Workout will help, but if your busy with work, fast walking will do. You can walk or go the 2nd floor or third floor by the stairs and not use scalator or elevator, this is one way to exercise and loose some fats.
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
1 May 07
Yes, even it won't bother me if my wife gets fat. WE both also gained weight after marriage but I was involved in gym and jogging at that moment. I have to sit whole day in office and it's really hard for me to go for a walk after dinner as I'm too tired even to talk to anybody. thanx for your advice regarding stairs. I will try it.
@neertow20 (86)
• Malaysia
1 May 07
Absolutely yes!!I want him to be healthy and being fat will lead to health problem..We can't ignore this. But , currently I, myself is getting overweight because of lack exercises and I asked my boyfriend would it bother him and he said, he don't care and will always love me but he asked me to work out for my own sake:)irony?
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
1 May 07
no irony there really, neertow. it is just important that we keep ourselves in good shape because, it is a component of keeping ourselves in good health. so start to keep yourself in good shape because, it is so hard to shake off the extra fat once we reach the age of 40. this is my problem now.
@patricia24 (568)
• Philippines
1 May 07
I think that thing will not really bother me. I will be so much happy if my husband will be fat. Because its a good sign that you take care of him very well and you cook good food to make him fat and its because i dont like him to be with other woman, or being too notice by the other girls. Sometimes i want him to be fat because im so insecured when he is so handsome to look at with his muscular body.
1 person likes this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
1 May 07
Cool, so I have one more female like my wife. She is always insecure about me and thinks that she should lock me in house mostly. She is so much scared that she hates when I talk to any of my friends (girls) Okay, I think she is overdoing it many a times. What about you . Isn't this a bad way to protect your relationship by getting him fat lolz.
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
1 May 07
I do not bother with the looks. Both of us have gained some weight in the past year and we do not care "look-wise" BUT it is also a healthpart and that is something that we should be concerned about.
I am sure that as long as you are not a healthrisk you have nothing to worry about. Your wife mloves you, and not your weigth=)
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
8 May 07
well each of us wants our mate to look good,but if they gain weight we don't stop loving them.I would hate to know if i gained a few pounds i would not be loved by my mate..My husband was very thin when we married ,now he has a tummy but i still love him.I try and encourage each of us to watch our weight,myself as well as him but it has nothing to do with love.If we got fat i would suggest we cut down or start walking but as long as my husband is healthy im fine,but neither one of us are fat ..
@GergOnline (399)
• United States
2 May 07
I would love and care for them even if they grew tot he size of a car, but i would also help them change there ways though so that they can live a longer healthier life.
@GergOnline (399)
• United States
2 May 07
just a side note, mention that you are going to start hittin the gym, and see if they offer to go as well.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
1 May 07
Why don't you just make her run and run and run? Running is the best way of shedding fats. Get her to run, and run along with her. She will slim down and you will keep fit. ;-)
@Cathzsmile (171)
• Philippines
1 May 07
I think everybody should be conscious in any aspect. My boyfriend used to attend his taekwondo training before. After a year he stopped his training and sad to say he began to start getting fat. There are times that I tell him that he needs to reduce his weight because he doesn't look so good anymore. I love him for what he is but recently, I've noticed that he got sick more often. So right now, I always monitor his food intake.
1 person likes this
@nampoothiripad (601)
• India
1 May 07
My friend once told me. He examined around 50 couples and their life and "discovered" that the couples which have no match as far as the bodyshapes are concerned are living more happily than "matched couples" He explained the reason to me " the couples have no match do not love their body but each others mind and hence they are living more happily
