My 12 year old is wanting to date

United States
May 2, 2007 3:56am CST
She is growing so fast. She will be 13 May 12th. She has had a young boy at the door the last couple of days. I invited him in to visit. I would rather he be here then her out there. He is 12 years old. Lives around the corner from us. I have to say I am impressed so far. I thought I would want to cut his ear off. he helps customers to their car at the grocery store. he makes a good piece of change. He gives some to his mother. The rest he keeps for his needs. he helps work on cars with his uncle. His mother has done a great job. I notice his manners in my home. he is not very talkative. My daughter confides in me with her little so called in love stories. I am trying to be her mother and her friend. I don't want her to feel she can't trust my judgment. She has spoke to me about things I thought she would tell a friend. Now When should I bring up meeting his parents? She gets embarassed so easy. This is my only daughter tips a are welcome. Thanks again
6 people like this
10 responses
• Malaysia
3 May 07
haha.. i think you have to be patience first.. yes.. we all know she's growing fast.. in fact.. everyone is growing fast.. haha... i think it's okay to have a date at this age.. but.. you have to make her aware of a few things.. which is forbidden in a relationship.. i believe i don't have to tell it out as you already know what is it right? i think no point rushing as you might make things worse.. and your daughter might be angry if you make the situation worse.. am i right? right now.. your daughter is in love.. and she won't be able to judge as good as you.. so... all you can do is to talk to her slowly.. tell her about love.. make her understand :)
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 07
I love the male point of view. She is not thinking this far yet. She is grossed out by the male reproductive system. She learned this yesterday and ran home to tell me. Thanks a lot.
@Sissygrl (10999)
• Canada
3 May 07
When i was 13 i got my first boyfriend, and my parents freaked out. It was a boy that i'd known since i was about 3 years old. lol he just lived up the street and his mom and my mom used to take turns walking us to school through the week. I Guess it wasn't such a good idea to have a boyfriend at 13, i'm glad my parents told me to tell him i couldnt see him anymore. I was too young, and i really didnt' know what it ment to have a boyfriend at that age. But times are a changin :P lol. Maybe you could ask her if she would like to invite him and his parents over for dinner some night. that way its not like your pushing her to let oyu meet them, but your leaving it up to her. maybe she will say SURE at teh chance to have him over for dinner and spend more time with him. Whatever way it works out, good luck :) i'm not looking forward to my daughter getting old enough to date! but she's only 9 months right now so i'm trying not to worry that far ahead just yet lol. :) again good luck :)
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 07
Thanks very much. I don't want her to be fixed on the idea. She can have him as a friend for now. She is under the understanding this is fro her best interest. Good luck with your little one. :)
@Fishmomma (11507)
• United States
2 May 07
I think 12 is to young to date. There are to many times when young people do something they aren't old enough to understand and regret later. The pressure to be "cool" and accepted by their friends makes some young people do several activities they wouldn't normally do like drinking, smoking, going all the way, and drag racing. I would have a few drinks with friends. but quit when one of my friends lost her brother because of a drunk driver. I didn't know the teenage driver, but was so angry that the person was fined and because of his age he went home with his parents. He was fined $50.00.
• United States
3 May 07
Yes this is true in deed. This world is not safe as it was once. We have to be very careful and stern with our kids. Thanks a bunch.
@palina77 (1178)
• United States
2 May 07
I think 12 years is low figure for a date outside along with friend. If you think the boy is good enought for your daughter and dating will last then you can accept and inspire both according to situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 May 07
Paulina my dear friend,My daughter can barely leave my front door. LOL She can't go anywhere with a boy by herself. She can have company in the living room while I am home. I also don't plan to let her go to his house. I do want to meet the parents ,because I always need to meet parents of kids who are in my home. Thanks a lot.
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
2 May 07
It does sound young but when I think back I had a young boyfriend when I was 13, it was innocent days though, I think maybe things are a little different these days and I was such a shy person, I was so forward I let the boy hold my hand......how radical is that.... :)
• United States
2 May 07
This in my book is puppy love. She has to go through the changes of live. But with the world as horrible as it is. I am in no way ready for the sneaky behavior of kids. She can have a little company but that is it. Thanks a lot.
@kumar27 (129)
• India
3 May 07
first of all i find her a little matured coz she is a May-born and may-born persons are nervy and intelligent but she is too small to decide everything she wants... and there is very important role to be played in jher life as it sounds premature moreover she is your only daughter so act wisely
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
2 May 07
Thirteen is such a young age but at the same time it is when girls think life is about to begin, all those hormones kicking in. No daughter of mine who is thirteen would be dating anyone.Now if the young man wants to visit while I am home that is fine but they would never be allowed to be left alone.If they wanted to see a movie or something like that they would have to be either with his parent or me. This world today is so full of young children having children, now im not saying your daughter would do anything like this,but how is it that the other 13 year olds got talked into doing it? NO PARENTAL SUPERVISION. I would be very cautious with my daughter.
@loujac3 (1189)
• United States
2 May 07
This was a tough subject when my daughters were younger. I had a rule that they had to be 16 to date. If a group of kids went out together then it was open. If a friend came over it was okay because they had a parent at home. Raising kids in this day and age is harder due to more peer pressure. But we as parents have to stand strong and stand by our rules. Maybe talking to parents of your daughter's friends would be a good idea. See what they have decided on dating. If you feel safe with this youngman around your daughter then invite his parents and him over for coffee and refreshments to get to know more about them. Sometimes we can make exceptions to the rules. Good luck!
@kittyloki (141)
• United States
2 May 07
I had my first 'boyfriend' when I was 12. Lots of young have little 'boyfriends' and little 'girlfriends'. It is mostly just cute. I think it is good for them.
• United States
2 May 07
No way would i allow 12 and 13 yr old s date they are far too young !amd you are looking for trouble if you do!