Why do you have to tell children same thing over and over?

@kynni204 (2031)
United States
May 2, 2007 12:01pm CST
My husband and I told my daughter over and over to stop slidind down the stairs a thousand times. There is a coffee table/tv stand a lil bit over from the stairs. Well we don't have to tell her anymore. Yesterday she got on a sleeping bag went flying down the stairs and CRACK, her head hit the table so hard you could hear it a mile away. I was expectting to see blood all over the place. No blood!! Thank God But she has a nott the size of Texas....Why do we have to repeat things to children many times they won't stop until they get hurt...
8 people like this
22 responses
• Canada
2 May 07
We have to let them learn the hard way. Telling a child not to do something isn't going to work, because they don't know how bad something can hurt till it happens to them. It's all about experiences, and experiencing things is the only way they will learn whether something is going to hurt or not. If you tell a child that hitting their head on the table will hurt, they can't relate to it. However, if they go and actually HIT their head on the table, you can bet that they won't be in such a hurry to do the same thing again.
• Philippines
3 May 07
you have a very beautiful avatar. i love to be staring at it for a little while more. it is true that children never lean until they get hurt. this is the reason behind the need to hit them when they commit the same errors/mistakes over and over. punishment is really necessary for the young ones because, they easily relate pain to something which must not be done because it hurts.
• United States
2 May 07
Bought wisdom is better than told... my mom always said that to me whenever i didn't listen... you wont know its hot until you touch it... I bet your daughter will never fly down them stairs after seeing what you and your husband was warning her about
@kynni204 (2031)
• United States
2 May 07
exactly
@34momma (13895)
• United States
2 May 07
what i have learned while doing some research is, it is not that they are not listening, we are using the wrong words. the words, no, not, and don't. do not rigister, even more so when you are talking to children. what i have started doing instead of saying, Don't Run, i now Say walk please. If she asked for a cookie and i rather she not have it, i don't tell her no, I say you can have a cookie in a little while, or later. and it has been working like a charm.
@kynni204 (2031)
• United States
2 May 07
Groovy, I will try that!!
@rodeotexas (1154)
• United States
2 May 07
LOL because they think they know everything and nothing can happen to them.
@kynni204 (2031)
• United States
2 May 07
They do think they are invincible and they deffinitely think we are dumb and they know it all.
• United States
2 May 07
I think that children have to learn the hard way. I am the same way with my kids I tell them something over and over and they do dnot learn until something bad happens.
@kynni204 (2031)
• United States
2 May 07
There has got to be abetter way
@PsychoDude (2018)
• Netherlands
2 May 07
My mom used to that a lot as well, lol, but the typical kid I was every time you tell me NOT to do something I will just be stimulated to do it anyways. With kids it is much more important on telling them what to do, rather than telling them not to do.
@kynni204 (2031)
• United States
2 May 07
hummm thats food for thought...focus on telling what to do rather than what not to do...thx
• India
3 May 07
coz that way they learn things they never forget in life, they learn it through their own experience and mistakes. repeating a thousand times would not have had the same impact on your daughter as her hitting the head and hurting herself. but then why do you tell her so many times? why cant you just shift the table/TV? in no time she will be grown up and gone and then you both will be left looking at an empty banister and imagining your daughter flying down. if possible slide down along with her. i remember when i was a kid, we had this concrete banister and i just loved sliding down it!
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
3 May 07
I find with my kids that it usually takes for them to hurt themselves to take notice. I have also told my kids that I am going to have to tape myself so I can just press rewind a play it, rather than having to actually say it over and over, lol!
@cyrile07 (236)
• Philippines
3 May 07
well that's what kids are.. they wont learn a thing until they know that they would get hurt.. what i did to my kids is that i told them the consequences if what they would do.. like for example running up and down the stairway, i will tell them that what would might happen if they do that... and if dont listen i just told them that if they get hurt they should know what a real pain is :) sometimes we have to do reverse psychology to our kids :) just let them learn on their own and just be there for them :)
@fox123 (285)
• Philippines
3 May 07
Children really needs some reminders as always since they are still young and very playful without thinking of bad things that will happen to them, they innocent on those things yet..
• Malaysia
3 May 07
first of all.. you need to be aware of a thing.. children.. they are very playful.. and they tend to take things easily. .that's why they forget things easily.. and you can't blame them for that.. i believe it's part of human development.. can you say that you don't forget things when you're young? they're just too young to be serious.. and .. you just have to be patience with them.. i do agree some might even use punishment to make them remember their mistakes.. but.. i still think the best way is to talk nicely with them.. as they're still young.. i won't hit any children below 7... i think no matter how many times you scold them.. they won't be able to understand.. hehe =)
@subha12 (18453)
• India
3 May 07
i think children never understand the importace of what their parents tell them. so they behave this way. when the nature teaches them, they learn the lesson themselves.so its the event that helps them to learn things.
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
3 May 07
Because it is how it used to be. Parenting is a very challenging task. We do and think things we never imagine before.Just to make them safe and have a good future. Kids are really curious and hard headed. Until they get hurt or experienced the things with their own. Then thats the time they wil understand what we are telling to them is for their own good and safety.
@kumar27 (129)
• India
3 May 07
parents keep telling their children Do & Don't for the sake of children's safety over and over again as children are tending to forget those warnings. recently i noticed my friend said me "dont tell her.we are tired of telling so"while i saw that baby is tryinm ina peculiar way to climb down the stair case and climb up,making me frigtened to warn her against falling. as i shouted at her my friend told me 'she will not learn untill she falls' it is useless to tell children over and over as they are tending to forget and neglectful .to some extent all children are not same.
• Philippines
3 May 07
we ahve to tell our children so many things over and over becasue, they tend to forget about things very easily. we know that they have a very short spand of attention and that they easily get distracted.
• United States
3 May 07
I think most of the time it is because the children sense that the adult will keep saying it but do nothing to stop it. Does that make sense? When my children were young, I would tell them, I am only going to say this once and if they didn't mind me, I followed through with whatever I had set in place. This method came about when I noticed that if I didn't follow through, I was ignored and I didn't like being ignored lol
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
3 May 07
Thats how children are really, they often forget all our reminders and sometimes think that they enjoy much of this kind of activity and only stopped if hurt i guess..
• Australia
3 May 07
Because kids are a curious beings. Once you told them not to do something, then you can guarantee that is one thing that they will surely do ahhaha I was also like that when I was a kid. My mom has to tell me over and over again about things. However, once something happen, like in your daughter case, she hit her head on the coffee table, then hopefully she will for once listen to you and stop sliding down the stairs. I gotta admit though, sliding down the stair is fun and thrilling though dangerous :) My advice is to let your kid have fun and try out things, but if it got too dangerous and fatal, then you need to sit her down and give a good talk about it. If she still doesnt listen to you, then you need to punish maybe by having a time out or something like that.
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
2 May 07
It depends on how you say things to your children. Things have to be phrased in a way that they will listen. One thing I've learned is a parent is to make a request very succinct. Beyond three words they stop listening. Sometimes you have to give them a safe alternative for something if you can think of one and say "instead of sliding down the stairs, why don't you (fill in the blank)".
@mjsdls (1840)
• United States
2 May 07
I have this problem with my son. I'm finally starting to punish him after telling him something a couple times. This is telling him twice at the same time, not telling over and over at different times. I do not understand him at times. I knows if hears me because he says he does. But he just ignores me. For the most part he is a well behaved child be he has his spells. The only time I really have trouble with him is during doing homework. If he does not want to do it he does not even try. I have made him stand in the corner, go to his room ect, nothing helps. I have prayed about this but so far no breakthrough.