Three Kick Rules
May 2, 2007 5:11pm CST
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Alabama. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own. The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in the country. We settle small disagreements like this with the “Three Kick Rule”. The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. After all, how hard could he kick, So, he agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get onto feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, old man,.. Now it’s my turn.” [I love this part….] The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck…!
3 May 07
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star." Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"