Parents who criticize...

Singapore
May 3, 2007 6:33am CST
Okay, don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all but whenever she gets into her "criticizing mode" I just want to scream. Really. She goes, "you're fat, go on a diet, fix your hair, you're not doing that right, blah, blah, blah!" I mean, come on! I'm already having a hard time hearing criticisms from other people, I don't want her adding to that. I mean, she's my mom! She's supposed to accept me for who I am! How do you react when your parents criticize you? Do you shrug it off or does it affect you too?
5 people like this
10 responses
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
15 May 07
Hello Natalie!!! Have you tried talking to your mom about this? tell her that you're really hurt and that needs to be stopped. Mothers are supposed to be the ones to love and appreciate their children right? Talking heart to heart regarding this might help..
• Singapore
15 May 07
I don't think I could because I would never get past the water works. We're both emotional and if we talk about this, chances are, we'll just both cry and hurt each other.
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
16 May 07
I'm sorry to hear that, but i think it's the only way to settle these things. If you will not even try to open this to her, this will never be stopped. Chances are you will never find peace in your heart, there's no harm in trying right? Before doing it, you need to pray and accept both of your weaknesses and that we are only human, and that we commit mistakes, try to open your heart and put in mind that she is your mother. You have to let it all out, it's ok to cry and be emotional cause that's what make us human. I know i have no right to step into anybody's lives and that i have no idea what you've been through nor your mothers' but consider this as a friendly advice from a friend. But its always your choice wether you do it or not. I'll be praying for you both!.. God bless
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
4 May 07
Natalie, no one likes to be critised. But think it over ....it you are critised by your Mom...she might be doing it for your good. I believe parents are the true well-wishers of their children...no one can be compared with parents. I feel if your Mom tells you something to improve upon...she tells you for your good ...for your benefit...because you see every parent wants his/her wards to be a nice human being. I would say..be patient if you feel that there is some substance in the criticism or their advice....try to follow that ...they will be more happy and so will be you. deepak
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 May 07
I would gladly take advice from her but I just wish that she would do it in a loving way and not the way that she's doing it right now because every time she does that I really feel like the lowest life-form on earth because I feel like my own mother doesn't like me.
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
8 May 07
Yes, I agree with she should be soft and polite with you even if she is mentioning your mistakes.
1 person likes this
3 May 07
My mother has always critisised me, ever since I was very young, and she still does it now. She prefers to say she is saying things for my own good but the words she uses still hurt evern though I am noe 55 years old. I guess she will never change though, and much as i love her there are times when I really wish she would, just once, say something nice
1 person likes this
• Singapore
3 May 07
You said it. I mean, not once have I EVER heard her compliment me. Not ONCE. It's always the bad things. I feel so inadequate, like what more can I do? It's really taking a toll on my ego.
• Singapore
3 May 07
Thanks, but it's hard though.
@gasmas100 (587)
• India
3 May 07
trust me, thats how moms are. dont take me wrong too, but that may be you soon when u become a mom. I too asked my mom, why she 'nags' me so much about everything-right from waking up 5 minnutes late, to eating lunch on time...she simply told me. Im not perfect.............I want you to be though'!!!!!! What say u?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
3 May 07
It's okay once in a while but my mom never let's up. Sometimes I just want to get married right away so I can go away and stop hearing all the criticisms.
• India
7 May 07
Natalie, Getting married is another risk u taking. U neve know how ur hubby would turn out-however sweet and kind he may seem the first few times or yrs. Remember- A KNOWN DEVIL IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN AN UNKNOWN ONE (u know what I mean here-apologies If i hurt u anyhow, just try using a phrase to mean somethin) Again, relationship b/w parent and child is not always equal as between husband and wife-which are equal. Parents have given u birth, so u are indebted to them, they have an EDGE over u, unlike ur partner, so it may be worse if ur partner turns out the same. Jus' be more patient and tolerant girl. Cheers n chill!!! good wishes n luck
1 person likes this
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
14 May 07
They don't because I am wonderful! Seriously, though, they will get off on a bit of a tangent but it is generally pretty minor stuff and I use a redirection technique which is great because I have plenty of siblings in line to take the next onslaught.
• Singapore
15 May 07
You think with eight children she would have moved on to the others but no, she keeps picking on me.
@tyuepsc (189)
• China
3 May 07
Sometime I really wanna to shrug it off and forget their criticism, but in my deep heart I really affect by the way they judage upon me. If they say some unpleasant or unfair words which will totally hurt me. Becouse they're the most important persons who have brought us into the world,their words does mean a lot to us depite we may pretend not to mind anyhow.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
3 May 07
I know. It's hard not to take their criticisms to heart because we think the world of them and when the criticize me, I feel like dirt.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
3 May 07
My mom isn't one to criticize her children. She often would rather tell them something they want to hear so that they feel better. My father on the other hand use to critcize me all the time. At times because of him doing this I have a low self esteem problem. After a couple of years of him constantly criticizing me I learned how to just blow him off. I realize that he thought he was helping me but he was going about it the wrong way.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
3 May 07
Yeah, the way my mom is going at it with me, no wonder I'm so insecure. I don't think my mom is trying to help me. I mean, I really don't know what she wants from me. *sigh* I hope I don't do the same thing she's doing to me to my future kids.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
14 May 07
my mom did that and she even does it now!! she would never keep her eyes off me, she would criticise me all the time. i have come in terms with this though. this will never change since this has to do with the generation gap. having said all this, this affects me even now. reviously i used to feel sad for the fact that she was being snappy and grumpy but off late i feel even more sad as i cannot see her unhappy. its more her pain that makes me unhappy. afterall, moms are sweethearts, aren't they!!
1 person likes this
13 May 07
Thanks for the best response hun
1 person likes this
@federickp (607)
• India
4 May 07
yes my mom and some times mu dad also criticizes me for no reason..i mean for paltry things. I am already so worked up with my studies and other things in life..and after comming home i hear to these kinda..bla bla things. I really loose my temper sometimes..and get angry with my mom dad.. Its horrible ,, but we should try to control our anger, they are telling good for us.. yeh yeh thats ok! but cant u just keep quiet for 2 seconds..! he he ,...thats what exactly happens!! ha ah
1 person likes this