Should I feel bad? Please give me some advice...

@kcrysea (196)
Philippines
May 3, 2007 6:51am CST
Me and my bf went to an internet cafe. While i was doing mylot he was surfing the net as well (friendster), then i saw him searching for his old friends and classmates way back in high school. He's searching for someone then he just got the profile of that girl. I asked him how is he related to that girl, then he said "she's a classmate." So i said "why dont you add her on your friend list?" "No need, it will just remind me of the past" so i said, "you had a past relationship with that girl?" then he said "Yes..." Im confused why is he looking for that girl online. If he dont wanna add that girl to his friend list, why is he searching for her then? Im not talking to him right now, i feel bad and confused... what should i do?
2 people like this
22 responses
@repzkoopz (1895)
• Philippines
3 May 07
you shouldn't feel bad. maybe the girl's name just crossed your bf's mind while he's searching for high school friends. don't worry. he probably didn't even search for her, and possibly just popped-up when he made a search for his high school friends. c',)
@kcrysea (196)
• Philippines
3 May 07
thanks ... Y_Y *sniff
@repzkoopz (1895)
• Philippines
3 May 07
aaaaawww.. don't cry.. give him the benefit of a doubt. besides, he stated upfront he doesn't want to be reminded of their past. he probably means it. c",)
• China
3 May 07
I hope you should believe your boyfriend!
@kcrysea (196)
• Philippines
4 May 07
thanks. I belive him now
@lafavorito (2966)
• Philippines
3 May 07
Try not to be so paranoid and insecure. If your boyfriend loves you then none of this wouldn't matter. I suggest for you to be honest with him, tell him calmly that his reaction (searching for the girl on friendster & not adding on the list) bothered you and tell him your reason. He might get defensive, but hey that is normal for guys, try your best to be calm so that you can work things out with him.
@kcrysea (196)
• Philippines
4 May 07
thanks for that...
@gasmas100 (588)
• India
3 May 07
i feel that every1 has a past....u may have had too. Sincve he has been honest to u and is with u thats more imp. Ask him about her, learn more about what kind of relationship they had...u should be fine that he is now with u....make sure that she too knows that he is now with u. chill
@kcrysea (196)
• Philippines
3 May 07
well thanks for that.. maybe im too paranoid to think that he's still looking for that girl...
• Philippines
12 May 07
well maybe he was just curious looking at her page... but I don't know.. why not add her if he moved on...? i mean, there's no big deal already adding her cause she's just a part of his past and you're his present... I hope he is being honest with you.. just keep positive..but not too much.. you might get the wrong one...
@Darkwing (21588)
12 May 07
You should try and understand that he's just reminiscing on his schooldays and contemplating how he's moved on, and what he's achieved. He probably came upon the girl by accident but hey!!! Wake up to reality... he told you the truth about her. He didn't hide the fact that he had a relationship with her, which means that he trusts and cares for you and needs you to understand that she is in his past... he doesn't want to message her, so he has put the relationship behind him. You are his present, you are his future and you're sulking about a girl he knew back at school? Come on.. you're being really selfish about this and you need to treat him a bit special now, and let him know how much you really care. Jealousy is bad... it ruins relationships. So, please, talk to him, make up, share his past stories with him and lighten up. YOU are his love now, not this schoolgirl! Brightest Blessings.
@laila675 (528)
• United Arab Emirates
12 May 07
maybe he got curious of how she looks like right now. about me, i also searched for my ex. and it only hurts me coz i found out that he got married and now with a child. anyway don't feel bad about it coz at least he told you the truth that she was her past. and besides he did not add her to her lists as well. dont get annoyed about it, as long as he loves you more than her past.
• Philippines
12 May 07
don't you search for ur ex's friendster profile too? well, in my case sometimes i do. im just curious what happened to them after the breakup. but sometimes when my boyfriend does that i feel jealous too. but i feel confident that he's mine now. and not just a friendster view can change that. :)
• Malaysia
4 May 07
let's just say he is honest with you by telling you that she was his past but some people tend to hide something while they with someone else. Like you said, if he don't wanna add that girl to his friend list, he should not be looking for her. One will not look for something that they don't need but i'm not going to make you feel bad or anything but honesty in relationship is important and so does communications, know his past, help him to let it (her) go.
@ygautam (135)
• India
4 May 07
Well you should tread cautiously. He is searching for old friend means that you could be out. OR do not be serious about the relationship. Be just as friends.
@brew2x (3096)
• Philippines
4 May 07
I think it is normal to feel bad for a moment but I think you should start talking to him again. He didn't lie to you and told you about his past relationship with this girl, maybe he just accidentally saw the girl's picture from their former classmate friend's list and he got curious. If he lied to you and added the girl in his list without you knowing it then I guess you should get mad.
@jasmin19 (220)
• India
4 May 07
Hi, There are some feelings about her in his mind, he is not forget her totally, but he is not intrested in her now, so he didn't add her in profile. So discuss with him to clear this matter. Have a nice life, Enjoy. Bye, Take care.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
4 May 07
It's normal to feel bad and jealous over a boyfriend's past relationship. But don't let it get in the way of your relationship with him. You know him well and you know how he loves you. Do you have a reason to be insecure? Try to think about it. With sites like Friendster, it's common for people to search for old friends they wish to see or be updated about. My ex boyfriend found me on Friendster and I'm glad I was able to communicate with him after a long time. We parted as friends, and now we're still that way. Good that your boyfriend did not add the girl to his friend's list. It just goes to show that he doesn't intend to communicate with her. Talk to him about it and how you feel right now. Maybe that's all you need to do to give your mind some peace. :)
@tuposkid (286)
• United States
4 May 07
Well, the only thing you can do is assume the best until you talk to him and find out whats up...Maybe hes just curious about what she is doing with her life right now...He doesnt want to add her..but maybe just kinda see how shes been and stuff. Sometimes people like to think about the past...but not dwell on it... I cant say for sure so the only thing you can do is talk with him about it...
• India
3 May 07
i think its very bad.... i dont know how many yr ur relation going..if its not more than 1 or 2 yr..its very simple that for a boy or a girl that they had a bf or gf.... u can ask to ur bf is he very much interestted about this girl... if his ans is yesssssssssss............ u hv to leave him if his ans is nooooooooooo............. u hv to forget ur all douts ,all bad feelings.... thank u.....
• India
3 May 07
i think u shud talk with very frankly and try to tell him abt ur doubts and then ask all the questions what u hav mentioned here.believe me when both we will talk it will resolve the matter otherwise such type of misunderstandings will ruin ur relationship forever.u must understand that most of the persons hav some kind of relationship with someone in past and then after sometime such realtionship ends forever due to some reason.but if somebody just wants to know abt that person to whom it had any relationship then it's a normal think.there may be any reason due to which he wants to know abt that gal.so u shud clear that doubts otherwise u both will pay for it by break up.
@shak143 (1280)
• India
3 May 07
I don't think so what you have done and what your donig is right.Though your Bf had some relationship with that girl if he had really if it broke with some reason your bf may trying to tell her that he got a nice girl than you. Iam very lucky that i miss you.May be he is trying to do this.You have to understand him.If you wan't broke with your bf this reason is enough.But give him a chance to him. Every will eager to know about there past friends though they don't wan't to list them in there friends list.It's jsut curiosity.Any how you know better about your bf than any one of us here. TC...........
• Malaysia
3 May 07
okay krcrysea.. i think you're just thinking too much.. and even if he's really waiting for the girl to online.. i think it's improper for you to have such feelings.. it's common.. but it's still improper.. you have to put some trust and faith in your relationship.. which i think you're lacking of it.. are you afraid that your boyfriend cheat on you? if he does.. that means you don't understand him enough yet.. and it's not your fault.. so .. don't worry about it.. and maybe he just want to be friends with the girl again..see.. too many possibilities.. and i think it doesn't worth you thinking about it =)
3 May 07
Hay there I can give you a way out of this. The same thing happened with my girl friend. She thought the same things that you did after i told her about my past relaton ship. You should be bold enough to ask your boy friend about her. Ask about their past life and discuss it with your boy friend. In this way he will feel relief and will always say the truth to you. Guys tell about their x-girl friends to their present girlfriends just to irritate them to make them feel jelous in order to bring girls more near to him and believe me this will make your relationship more stronger. You should be happy atleast he told you about her x-girl friend. You should go and meet him and just solve this problem really calmly. Just talk to him and gt your life running on the highway baby.
@nurhoney (1123)
• Philippines
3 May 07
you know girl, I have been in the same situation before. But you know what I did, I didnt mind it coz as long as your bf is not doing anything "bad" while you two are still together, you need not worry. Dont be insecure about a person that you hardly know and you know that insecurity will bring you nowhere. So just be cool about it and let him do whatever he wants to do, he is mature enough what his limitations are...so if he crosses that line, thats where and when you need to talk about it. Never make your man feel that he is tied down in you coz men doesnt like that.