Letter to My Dogs

@breepeace (3028)
Canada
May 4, 2007 10:30am CST
Date: Thursday, May 4, 2003 Dear Rocky, Gypsy, Abby, Hope, Lily, Dancer, Red, Brie, Misty, Stormy, Bruno, Ria, Lacey, Cagney, Ginger and Pepper: When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run. I can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm. When I am playing the pinball machine, jumping up and trying to grab the ball through the glass is not helpful. Barking at me because I'm not helping you achieve your goal does not win you any extra brownie points. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bath-rooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell other dogs butts. I can not stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you guys to make. Your Loving Pets, Jane and John Doe
2 responses
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
4 May 07
I love the part about the stairs, she thinks because her daddy watches Nascar, she should too! lol I liked this so much I just emailed to my boyfriend at work, he should get a big kick out of it! Hope ya don't mind.
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3028)
• Canada
4 May 07
*L* Not at all.. it's been circulating the net for years. I love dog jokes!
• United States
4 May 07
Well his reply back was......don't count on teaching Tinker about the stairs! lol And don't even think about getting a pinball machine! lol
1 person likes this
@nonew3 (1941)
• United States
4 May 07
LOL! That is so cute! That letter really made me laugh and smile! Thanks for posting it! :-)