May 4, 2007 11:38pm CST
Forget those "human" pet books that attempt to explain the meaning of cats. To find out what your kitty is really about, you need a "pussycat primer", a "tabby tell-all", a "feline for foreigners" - in other words, a "Cat-tionary." These closely guarded terms (cats don't want humans to know everything), have recently been made available to the cat-owning public. We wanted to share them with you! Catacomb: Grooming device for Kitty. Good for removing cat-a-mats. Catapult: What happens when the catacomb gets caught in the cat-a-mats. Catnip: What Kitty will give you if you "pull" too hard with the catacomb. Catamount: Any perch in the house, higher than a human's head. Catcall: Signaling device used to open doors, fill food bowls and receive undivided attention. Catty-corner: A good place to keep the litter box. Caterwaul: What sometimes gets hit instead of the litter box. Catkin: The results of an unaltered cat. Cat's Cradle: Where Kitty sleeps, such as any bed, sofa, or other warm, comfy spot in the house. Catwalk: Kitty's daily exercise routine, consists of short trips to the food bowl (with occasional detours to the catty-corner). Catalog: Useful outdoor scratching post. Catalyst: Litter, cat food, treats, toys, etc. What humans use to shop for Kitty with. Catgut: Essential internal part of the cat, requires filling on an hourly basis. Catsup: Mealtime. It fills the catgut. Catnap: What cats do when they are not catsupping. Category: The icky stuff that Kitty leaves on the porch step after eating the outside of a mouse. Caterpillar: The lady in the white coat who says, "Now swallow the medicine like a good Kitty." Catalyze: What Kitty tells you when you find the broken vase. "Meow - it was the dog, I swear it!" Cataract: What the house looks like if you leave Kitty alone for too long. Catatonic: What humans drink after seeing the house. Catastrophe: An award Kitty receives for having the most beautiful behind. (That one is my personal favorite......Kat) Catfish: What Kitty does in your aquarium.