One must not marry to whom he wrote love letters! Unable to fulfill fake claims.

@aliasad (1567)
Pakistan
May 5, 2007 1:29am CST
One of my colleague here in my office told me his story of love. He got married with his beloved too. He wrote love letters to his beloved and all of the letters were kept with his wife. You know, sometimes whilst having a love affair, people make so many promises and so many commitments even beyond the reality. But after the marriage, sometimes one cannot fulfill, at all. He is facing the same dilemma. His wife always show him the letters and claim about his fake commitments. Very Bad, isn't it? How do you feel about love letters? Do you think it is foolishness to write the letters and then face the consequences lol .. Thanks for responses, in anticipation.
13 people like this
23 responses
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
5 May 07
Well I would never write things in a Love Letter that I would not be able to keep so People have to be careful what they write lol or they will find themselves in a Dilemma as some People would hold them to it word by word
2 people like this
• Philippines
6 May 07
I agree with you gabs513.. Words are very powerful.. It can make the world go round and it can make you fall for someone, trust that person and be loved. But we should also be careful with the words coming from our mouth. We should hold on to these words and promises until we are able to do this. Because it could only lead to heartaches later on regrets. It is really nice to express the feelings that we felt for the person. But we should also be honest with ourselves if we could really make it all happen to avoid betrayal later on.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
6 May 07
Yes you should only promise what you know you can fulfill
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
6 May 07
Nice conclusion ... thanks to both!
@gberlin (3836)
5 May 07
I guess the moral is do not make promises in your love letters that you can not keep! :) I wrote love letters to my wife before we got married and she kept them. However, she knew I was going to be a teacher and she knew how much I was going to make. She knew how it was going to be before we got married. I did not make any promises about how our life was going to be. She has never used the love letters against me.
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
5 May 07
Sure this story has moral lesson you are good enough to drive it. Good to see that you too used the love letters but never exaggerated or lied. Wish you all the best for the rest too. Thanks for response
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
5 May 07
It's not like that we shouldn't marry person we wrote love letters. I was expert of writing letters and everyone from school and college used to come to me for letters. I know that people always write more than what they can really afford but even the person receiving letter should understand that. It's a famous line in hindi that I will bring stars for you, "Mein tumhare liye tare tod la dunga" but it's impossible. Anyway I agree with you that writing too much is bad. If I don't have a bicycle and I claim to buy a plane then it's really disgusting.
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
5 May 07
Hmmm a nice hindi quote ;) Nice to see you ve' been a good letter writer, it means you can better understand what sort of exaggerations are there. Nobody can fulfill all the dream talks so both must understand. Thanks for response Samrat!
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (102495)
• United States
5 May 07
I know I am not just responding about love letters, but about all correspondence, and video and pictures, too. I do not put things in writing or pictures that I would not want to be used against me, or get out to the whole world to see. Not even in love letters. I try to write only what I can or am willing to do.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
5 May 07
I think love letters are fine, as long as you don't make promises that you may not be able to keep. You have to be realistic is telling another person what you can give to them. Maybe over times you can deleiver the goods, but as time goes by, you might find you made irrational promises. If you make promises with the purpose of attracting someone, you are creating the means to fail unless you really can deleiver on your promises. Then the more you give, the more they might want. But love letters are not the problem, it is the messages conveyed within them that is.
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 May 07
Even though loveletters are full of promises i know that some cant be fulfilled, its so nice to know that your loved one gone thru the efforts of writing these to you and that shows he just happy to express his love to you that he can resort to writing and we all know that men arent that patient to write us loveletters. Better to be grateful for the loveletters, than not to receive at all. Forget about the promises there as long as the love is there.
@youdontsay (3503)
• United States
5 May 07
Why would it not be wrong to make promises you know you can't keep? That is foolish to begin with. The only promise that I know that one is likely to believe he can keep is to "love forever." However, we don't know everything that could happen to us to ruin that promise. When we marry we make promises in the ceremony and we are expected to keep them. Yet divorce is so common now that nearly half of the people who marry also divorce. I think we may take promises too lightly. Don't promise what you can't do and you will be better off. And there are consequences to every choice, We are responsible for them all.
• Philippines
6 May 07
Yes really... We should think about the promises or better yet, don't make any promises that you cannot keep... We may say that loving forever is a promise, but for me, if you really love the person so deeply, it won't be a promise because promises are meant to be broken. I would say that loving forever would be my commitment to the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. We are not yet sure about the future or whats gonna happen.. We may change the decisions that we are having right now but whatever promise that we made to the person, especially if that person really took it seriously and whole heartedly, we may not make it all happen but we should keep it.
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
5 May 07
Hello Aliasiad, How very sad for your colleague and his wife. Whether he made overreaching promises, or not, it's still very sad. Love letters written in the courting stage of any relationship are penned by one who tends to be overwhelmed by the giddiness of love. You know the old saying "... through rose colored glasses."? Is there ever a time when our glasses are rosier than when we're first in love? For me, love means ... the good times and the bad. I wrote love letters to my husband, and he to me. Neither of us promised the other the moon. Instead, we shared our deep feelings for, and commitment to each other. I cherish those letters because they're a reminder of the treasured time when he and I began the most important relationship in my life.
1 person likes this
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
5 May 07
O dear! One must keep the sweet recollections. Good meaning of love. You are lucky to have a good relation with your hubby. Nice to learn that no promise you both made that was beyond the understanding or the commitment. I wish you a happy life!
• Philippines
7 May 07
I don't think they are fake claims. At that moment, they were true. But with time, people change. Your priorities are not the same anymore. And those promises are sweet memories of why you felt inlove with the person in the first place. And why dwell on the past, now that he is her husband. Isn't being married to the one she loves, a great promise itself? I mean, promises of the past are to be left in the past. Because if you always look backward, you might forget or neglect, the promises of a better tomorrow. (^^,)
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
6 May 07
At the time he wrote those love letters he thought that he would be able to keep all of those promises. The marriage isn't over yet so he still has time to honor his promises. What she is doing os wrong. She shouldn't have taken what he wrote in those love letters so literally. As long as he is doing his best by her is all that should matter.
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
6 May 07
I think writing love letter is fine.Even if one can't keep all his promises ,the couple can live with the sweet memories of their hopes and aspirations.Love letters have undergone a facelift and now people have moved onto emails and mobile messaging.With emails people have less chances of being held accountable to their promises,unless the girls start printing them out ,lol.Just kidding.If we make the promises that we can keep then the problem would never arise.
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
7 May 07
Oh yes, girls can keep .... a printer is not the hard task! lol Thanks for response
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
6 May 07
Hmmm, this is a toughie. I met my husband online, so while we didn't send "love letters" we did send a lot of emails and such filled with loving words and "promises". But I can't imagine ever digging those up (I did save them) and holding him to those things. Then again, I can't think of anything he promised me that he doesn't live up to. I think if you're making promises you can't keep, there is obviously a problem. I don't think a proper love letter has to be unrealistic. I wouldn't say "I'll never be angry with you" or "We'll never be apart for a moment" in a love letter. In fact, since that's not realistic, it wouldn't mean anything to me to read such things in a love letter. Maybe I'm just weird, but I think letters can be both romantic and "attainable goals" at the same time. If I were to write love letters, I would be careful of my words, because I wouldn't want to lure someone in with a promise I knew I couldn't keep. I think your poor colleague should just admit that apparently he made a mistake, and tell his wife that either she has to accept that and move on or that their relationship isn't going to work. That sounds really harsh, but anyone who is dragging up old love letters and using them as weapons obviously has some kind of serious mental issue. That is not normal behavior. She needs to sit down and have an honest conversation with her partner about what is going on in the relationship, not dance around waving the letters in his face.
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
7 May 07
So nice & precise your response is. One must keep the love letters or love mails for having sweet memories to recall. You did the right thing. Also, realistic approach is necessary. I would also communicate the same to my friend who is facing the the issue. Thanks for your candid opinion and wise recommendations.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
6 May 07
i dont think that it is foolishness.. in the starting of a relation ship, i understand both the partners are exited abt each other and the only intention is to make each other happyier then what they are at present, in this we do tend sometimes bluff also.. but when you are engaged with each other, you are just not only 2 of you togather, instead you have a family to look after, a future to be charted out... though i am not saying that bluffing and promising then not finishing it is a good thing.. but there are other factors also in ture life which are to be given more consideration... this should be thought abt by each of the member..
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
6 May 07
O my dear! I would like to add here that while writing love letters both are overwhelmed and excited, but in the mean time if both realise that they are doing for happiness and nothing will be turned in true ammmm may be!! Thanks for response
• India
5 May 07
Actually aliasad you got it wrong. Writing letters is no wrong buddy, but trying to impres a lady by fake promises is. One shouldn't promiss what they can't do or if they are just too lazy to do. Cause I believe that nothing is impossible, it just takes a little more time. It always happens that in the begining of any relationship people promiss a lot of things so as to keep their partners bound to them and also to impress them but as they get married they get sure that now the partner won't leave them so they go lazy on all those promisses they made and they just let them go. Actually one should never let go of promisses as it shows that how irresponsible the person is and how uncaring he is. Promisses specially made to loved ones should be fulfilled or else it just breaks the trust and drives people away. Any ways Take Care May GOD Bless YOU
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
6 May 07
Well, Raphael you are right. I didn't meant that if you again have a look of my discussion. Ammm what I wanted to sought was "love letters are not good if there are fake or lame promises beyond the reach and one cannot fulfill!" But your words here are worth for me. Thanks for response. Same blessings to you.
@dbeast (1498)
• India
5 May 07
no i dont think so.Love letters are the most romantic things that can happen during a relationship.these are memories one recollect forever.it maybe that the partner may show them and show all the promises not fulfilled but this shouldnt discourage one writing letters.i think writing letters are really romantic.
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
6 May 07
Love letters are for Love hmmm nice to have your comments dbeast!
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
10 May 07
The point here is one should not make any promises one has cannot fulfill or plans of fulfilling. It's not the letters but on the promises one makes.
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
7 May 07
My late husband would write me the most beautiful love letters. We were working for General Electric and would spend weeks apart...I looked for the letters everyday when I would get to the hotel room, hoping that the little red light on the phone would be flashing!!! I kept each letter and note that he ever wrote me, and I still have them all...I still go back and read them, and although they make me cry because I miss him so...I would never have wanted it another way.
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
7 May 07
being in love is a wonderful thing, where, i feel, ppl kind of lose balance. they see stars in their eyes and yearn for things far from reality. it's a wonderful state of mind, i must say. writing letters to one's love is equally beautiful. one cannot be be calculative in love and war, it has to be more driven by passion than mathematics. so, its but obvious, that the letters and words are only rendition of thoughts of that period of intense love and longing. in most cases, this is far from reality. your friend's wife must be pretty much of those inconsiderate kinds who make sure to throw tantrums with the aid of the beautiful reminiscence from past. i just pity your friend who has a lovely yet bugging wife. doesn't he have his bits of love letters from her treasured with him?? i guess, that would have saved him. i am sure she must have made false promises aswell. LOL...
@paulsy (1264)
• Philippines
6 May 07
I think it's not right for the wife to use the love letters to make her husband feel guilty about the things he wrote to her before they were married. If I were in her place, I would keep the letters, and read them to reminisce our love over and over again. It would be like food for the heart. Reading letters would make me feel so in love all over again. There may be promises that have not been kept, but we are all only human. If the love of my life always does his best to show me his love, but inspite of that, some promises cannot be fulfilled, I would forgive him. As long as we love each other very much and do all we can to keep this love alive, I would not require for anything much more.
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
6 May 07
Nope its not foolish ! its romantic though but i hope that was written there were promises that are tangible and not intangible one, or impossible to fullfill..the wife also must take into consideration on the capacity at present time the husband can fullfill those, especially if it needs money to accomplish it..