Having Children

@lenapoo (678)
United States
May 5, 2007 11:18pm CST
Do you believe that there is such a thing as too many children? Well I currently have two birth kids and a stepchild. I don't plan on having anymore anytime soon and I think that if I did have another one I would get my tubes tied because four kids in one house is way too many. How many children do you have? Did u plan to have that many or did it just happen that way? I am not saying anything about someone that may have more than two or three kids it is just that for me personally more than two or three is way to many. I think of all the pros and cons and weigh them out and decided on what I thought was enough. It all boils down to whether or not you want alot of kids or no kids at all.
2 people like this
15 responses
• United States
6 May 07
There is no such thing as to many children, they are blessing that everyone doesn't get to experience. If you are blessed to have at least one let alone multiple children you should be thankful. There is lots of love and laughter when you have multiple children, I know that sometimes the bickering and fighting can be much but it is nothing compared to the silence of the loss of a child. So no I don't feel having multiple children are too many the more the merry. A house, a car or money these are things people want a lot of but they could never give you the amount of love that children give, material items can be replaced over and over children cannot. I am a mother who has multiple children and lost a son and I would give anything to fight with my son right now.
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
7 May 07
It is a very emotional time when you lose a child, but I mean if you can't afford to take care of a child what is the point of having more and more. I think that it is too many children for people that are not financially stable enough to take care of numerous children. I would never bite off more than I can chew. Having alot of kids that you cannot afford to take care of is ridiculous and sad for the parents and especially for the children because they are the ones that have to suffer for their parents mistakes. I say only if you can afford alot of children otherwise know your limits.
• United States
6 May 07
I think that this is a very personal choice, but that over-extending yourself is not good for anyone involved. I have 2 children (5 years & 2 weeks old), and I am not against possibly trying for 1 more in another 5 years. I feel that people who continue to have more children than they can comfortably support is sad. They are being unfair to the children and causing undue hardships on the family. I would rather have 1 happy well cared for child than 3 who didn't have enough food, clothes, or later in life money for college. I think it depends on your situation completely.
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
30 Sep 07
That is true and I feel for the people that do things like that. I know a girl that I had went to school with she has three kids and one on the way and she is not able to take care of them like she should. I feel for her, but that is the decision that she decided to make.
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
7 May 07
I think it just depends on the family. Some are fine with 10 some with only one. I do think that finances should be carefully considered when planning a family though.
• United States
7 May 07
When we saw the movie Cheaper by the Dozen, my sis said (joking I think) she wanted 12 kids. Well 12 is kinda harsh. I dont think I'd want more than 4. But I think it depends on if you can afford them and how you handle being pregnant. I think long as you are fine and can afford them, I dont think there such a thing as "too many children" and it truly all depends on you and your husband or wife.
• United States
6 May 07
If you can provide for them have as many as you want. However if you can't then maybe you should stick to a lower number.
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
30 Sep 07
Even just being able to provide for them isn't enough you should be mentally prepared as well. A person with a good head on their shoulders as well as a person who is financially stable. There are alot of things you have to think about when you decide to have alot of kids.
• United States
6 May 07
No, I don't believe there is such a thing as having too many children as long as you are mentally and financially able to do it. I have friends with many children (5+) and they do a fantastic job. I have 4 and they are wonderful, but I couldn't handle anymore than that. My husband and I were originally hoping for 4 (although I was really wanting to stop at 2) and after the 3rd came we decided we were getting too old and should stop. Well, God had other plans and we had a 4th 2 years later and she is a joy! It really is a decision each couple has to make on their own.
@lenapoo (678)
• United States
30 Sep 07
That is the key making the decision on your own as well as being able to care for the children financially.
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
7 May 07
i use to say when i was a kid, im going to be like my mum and have 6 children (she had 9 but 3 deaths), but when my mum had kids it was in a time of having a lot of children, but now most families dont have many and i have now thought about it and would like 3. not exactly able have to many children unless if you cant look after them but its up to you your partner and your situation financially etc.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
6 May 07
I have 1 child- I don't plan on any more- I love having only 1 child-To answer your question- I think it is up to the parents- How many do they want- I would never say how many is too many- It is a personal choice- Can you afford more- It isn't my choice on how many kids anyone has but me!
• Malaysia
6 May 07
yes.. i do believe thing as too many children.. i think we should have children based on our financial situation.. if you're not in good financial situation.. why bother to have so many children? i do noticed that poorer people have more childrens compared to rich people.. why is this happening? i don't get it because i think richer people should have more children.. since they can provide better living to their children.. compared to poor people. .what are they going to do with their extra child? sell it to others? gosh.. that's really cruel..
• United States
7 May 07
Personally I think your right to feel that way having children cost. I have one myself and i want one more. My husband has a child as well from a past relationship and that's a headache in its self. So i totally agree with you,not to mention that if you don't have a reliable sitter you and your spouse can never have a night out alone. That's the only thing I miss about not having children. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't regret having her for one minute,but when they reach the terrible twos it's a task in its self to deal with that situation. Just stick to your plan and don't feel guilty about how you feel,to me its perfectly normal.
@13days (98)
• India
6 May 07
i dont wanna have kids .....:(
• United States
6 May 07
I think that this is totally dependent on every individual situation. If you can financially handle the addition of more children and physically and mentally handle the extra attention needed for each child, then go for it! There are people who have had 10+ children and are handling it wonderfully! Others are stressed financially and mentally by one. Every situation is different! We currently have two young children and are trying for a third. Three will be our limit. We are fine financially but somewhat stretched physically/emotionally with the two we have. This will improve as they get older hopefully (even though it will probably open up a different can of worms) so we're going to try for that last one. I have always felt that I would have three children and DH and I are both from 3-children families, so the dynamic is very familiar to both of us.
• United States
6 May 07
I just had my 6th child. I think it depends entirely on the family. Some parents can only handle one child. Others can have a dozen and not be phased. Choosing to have children at all, and choosing to have a large family in particular, means that you're also choosing not to do some other things. We don't spend a lot of money on luxuries, even though my husband makes good money. The money that another family may be spending on a new car every year, nice jewelry, and vacations,we spend on groceries and buying new shoes. My grocery budget is larger than my mortgage payment. It's a decision we knew we were making, though, and we're happy with the kids. Even the one whose foot grew 5 sizes in one year.
• United States
6 May 07
To me, having children depends on two main factors: your time and your money. If you don't have enough to money to support children, why have them? Consider the costs of providing for their basic needs, and later for their college, their first lease, and whatever else they'll need from you before they can financially survive on their own. As for time, well, kids take up time because of their dependency on youl; it's just natural, especially during those annoying baby-toddler years. If you don't have time for your kids, your children are going to develop that cliche "neglected childhood" personality. You know, the type they always show in movies; the kid is rich but he never gets any love from his father, so he's depressed and socially incapable. Besides that, not enough time is going to drive you crazy; to manage between work time and kid time, you're going to lose your patience and end as one of those constantly scolding parents. Children will become a burden to you. Me, personally, I don't have any children yet (too young). I don't plan on ever getting married (too restrictive; I'm afraid of commitment), but I'm planning on having multiple children with different partners once I have enough money to stop concentrating on work. I want to spread my genes! 8D
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
6 May 07
Like someone else has said, it all depends on your financial situation i think, i do know people who are about to have a 4th child & looking at it financially, they should have stopped after 1, although having said that, the 1st one born wasn't the biological child of the guy so he deserved to have one of his own! Having said that, everyone has the right to as many children as they want - it just depends on how mature they are & if they're smart enough to stop when they realise they cant afford to be having more. For the moment we only have the 1! Originally we both wanted 2 & then once our daughter was born, my partner is happy with just 1 & i would like 3 - LOL, we'll just have to wait & see what happens & if we are financially stable after a 2nd baby, i guess 3 could be an option! You're right, it does boil down to whether or not you want a lot of kids but finances also need to be factored in & a lot of people choose not to think about that side of things!