This woman has done a grave disservice to her daughters.

@sharone74 (4839)
United States
May 7, 2007 8:03am CST
The woman that I am a live-in caregiver to is 70 and has two daughters. She is constantly attacking my desire to earn my degree, which I am currently working my uknowwhat off to earn online. She says she doesn't understand why I am "wasting my time" going to school. "What is so important about getting a degree, you don't need one, just marry a rich man!" Is one of the many silly things that she tells me. I asked her once what her daughters used their trust funds for if not for school. She told me that she wouldn't allow either one to squander the money on higher education. Instead she earmarked it and gave it to them only for big fancy smancy weddings. The one daughter that I know has been contemplating a divorce for quite some time now also. And the man that she married is not rich. She doesn't understand how giving your daughter a big beautiful wedding is not as important a milestone as devoting that same money towards an education!
9 people like this
10 responses
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
7 May 07
She sounds very old fashion to me. Back in the day it was more important for a lady to get married then to go to school for a higher educations. Don't get me wrong I don't agree with it but I do understand. A mother wants to see her child happily married and well taken care of. This is how she was raised and thats how she wanted to raise her daughters. While times have changed she hasn't.
3 people like this
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
8 May 07
I completely understand the mindset, I have two sets of grandparents don't I. However how can you bury your head in the sand like an ostrich and not only mark the passage of time personally but also pay attention to the changing times around you. You do know what happens to the obsolegte dont you?
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
7 May 07
Don't let that woman discourage you from getting a higher education. If you were to marry a rich man instead you would not be independent. Who the heck wants to depend on someone else all their life? Not I! (nor you I can see.) I give you much credit for furthering you knowledge and a higher education. What are you studying?
3 people like this
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
8 May 07
I am studying with Axia College of the University of Phoenix for my AA degree in Information Technology. And as for whom would want to depend on someone else? My patient. I can't imagine how this woman would think that I would want to do this job for the rest of my life?
@anonymili (3138)
7 May 07
I'm sorry to say that to some women a marriage is far more important than a career but that is totally up to them. It is good that you are sorting yourself out for your own future so you can stand on your own two feet and not depend on a man to keep you but remember we're all different. Some of us have a career and a marriage too and some women are just content with having a husband and children and giving their all to them. Good for them. You and I know we're earning our own money with our own skills and we can do whatever we want with that money. As for the lady you look after, she is 70 as you say. She's set in her ways and she's no way going to change her mind now. My dad is 70 and he has certain opinions which I really can't bear listening to but he's my dad and he keeps saying "you know I'm too old to change my mind on certain things". I just let him go on about it and then I take his advice or not depending on whether it suits me :)
@lpipe0240 (1161)
• United States
7 May 07
I am sorry you have to put up with such a person. I would strongly recommend finding a new job. One that support you and your desire to purse a career. Try finding a job at your school. Most of them understand about school classes and homework. The pay may not be great but the environment might be friendlier.
3 people like this
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
8 May 07
I go to school online and as I was just leaving my fiancee and needed to go somewhere and this was the best alternative, I am still trying to maintain an attitude of gratitude until I can find somewhere else. This lady drives me nuts. She is ever demanding and she says mean and hurtful things intentionally then denies that she even said them.
• United States
7 May 07
That is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. I ahave a perfect exapmle of what happens when woman don't know how to live without a man. My childhood best friend's dad went to jail. He still have to pay the rent for teh house and cover all expenses. Do you know what the wife did? Nothing the woman could not even write a check if her life depended on it. That is how dependent on her husband she was. She never bought groceries and went to bars nightly. She also litterally lost their car. I know how do you lose a car, right? Oh but she did for a week I helped them look and finally an officer found it and it was on a highway an hour from where we live. Crazy. You get your degree it is importnat to at least hav esome education.
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
8 May 07
Earning my degree is my insurance policy against ending up like your friend. She is a co-dependant, I have seenmany of those in my life.
@citygirl (1081)
• Canada
8 May 07
You are wasting your time trying to reason with her. But for God sakes don't let her discourage you, or influence you deciousions. You just keep on working for higher education, as you already know it can only help you in Life. I think you already know that if you are totally dependant on a man, you are also at his mercy in a way. Not meaning that as knocking men either. But in this day and age women are also wage earners to. Good luck
• Canada
8 May 07
This lady sounds very much from the "Old School" way of doing things. I'm sure back in her day, it was more acceptable to find a rich man to marry as opposed to actually getting a good education and a degree. If she keeps going on and on about it, be polite and say "Thank you for your opinions but I am entitled to get myself a good education and/or a degree if I wish, and it's not for you to tell me otherwise." She'll either take offense or she'll understand. I do feel though that if she continues to attack your ambitions, it might be wise to look for another job. You don't have to let someone attack your hopes and dreams just because they don't understand them. I wish you luck.
• United States
7 May 07
This woman sounds like she could play a character actor on telvision or in a movie because she sounds like such a flaming stereotype. Nobody ever appreciates what any of us do if we do it for ourselves. Society at large is pretty selfish, as there is absolutely no respect for the individual and self-indulgence is viewed as a negative thing. I say keep earning that degree. Just try to avoid the subject with her, in cases where possible. She sounds like a real "classic".
@gadad2 (60)
• United States
7 May 07
Dear Sharone74, Good for you persuing your goal of getting a degree. An education is one thing that can never be taken away from you! Don't let this woman discourage or influence you with her negativity and old fashion thinking. She is from a different era and seems definately set in her ways. Good for you to notice the flaws with her ideas and for having the insight to see what has happened to her daughters. Don't get sucked into the same path. If it is possible to change jobs and spend time with others who share your ideals, that would be a big help. Otherwises, continue to care for this lady, but don't let her own thinking destroy your dreams and goals. Good luck on persuing your Degree!!!
• Kottayam, India
7 May 07
Dear Sharone, Some people are like that they cannot see somebody taking strides in their life.Be positive and do best you can do, God will help you. My prayers are with you.