Infants and timeout - or what age?

Canada
May 7, 2007 9:29am CST
My son is almost 10mnths. There are things he's not suppose to do of course, but I don't know how much he understands. Lately I'm getting the feeling he is starting to understand alot more what is acceptable. Plus he's started biting. Which is a teething thing I'm sure as he's cutting his fourth tooth right now. So I've been telling him no biting and giving him something he's allowed to bite on. It's not working as well as it use to, and now I have people telling me to give him timeout. Is he too young? I've been told tha time out should be a minute for every year, but he's not even a year yet! Your opinions, and experiences??
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
7 May 07
I swear, I totally understand why some people believe that in order to be parents people should have to take classes and tests. READ SOME BOOKS HONEY.
• Canada
7 May 07
Books are not the be all and the end all. I would rather gather information from other parents, and not just from someone who decided to write a book. You don't raise kids on what the "books say". The books are already wrong on so many things with my son. Each child is an individual. That's why it's best to look at all kinds of different experiences, opinions, and methods and then make your choices.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 07
Juliansmom I should have written do what is right. First, I never would have considered timeout for my son at 10 months old, because I knew he had no reference for being bad or good. Second, You can't place adult feelings and learned adult behavior on a child and especially an infant. This is basically 'love your child' psychology. My mother thought she was such a wonderful mother and place me on a potty chair at 10 months old. She said I was potty trained by 11 months old. Do you really think this can be? How many spankings did I get in order to be potty trained? Please-she wasn't using her head at all. If you are considering time out for a 10 month old-and I understand that you are asking questions and may not use time out for punishment or correction-you are not using your head. Books can be used a guides-not used to the letter. But you always would want to read books that consider your belief system.
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• Canada
8 May 07
My mom potty trained me and my brothers as soon as we could walk. Without spanking.
• United States
8 May 07
I would sit him in a chair. Tell him what he did wrong like "you cant pull the cats tail it hurts" then leave him for one min. Do this whenever he does wrong. He will eventually listen if he has to sit everytime hes bad. The rule on time out is one min for every year old. So my son is 5 he has to sit in time out for 5 min. Good Luck!!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 07
At ten months old?
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• Canada
8 May 07
Well he's too little for me to put him in a chair and leave him. He'd try to crawl out of it and hurt himself. Which is one reason I'm questioning time out, but I do think he knows certain things he is and isn't suppose to be doing. He has a short memory of course since he's so young and has alot to learn, but there are a few things I think he knows.
• United States
12 May 07
Yes at 10 months. They need to start learning early. The sooner the better! I started at 9-10 months letting them know the rules. If you dont start earliy you will have more problems later. If you feel he might fall out of a chair sit him on your bed and you sit on the floor. He might not understand exactly whats going on but he will get the hint eventually.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
10 May 07
Redirection works wonders. Just be consistent, like everytime he gets into something just move him away. Sometimes it takes forever but he'll catch on. Also point to the object and tell him "no, we don't touch that" or something like that. Some people will recommend slapping his hands, don't do that because it will prevent him from exploring-which is crucial for developmenthttp://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp How tempting it is to slap those daring little hands! Many parents do it without thinking, but consider the consequences. Maria Montessori, one of the earliest opponents of slapping children's hands, believed that children's hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child's natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message. Sensitive parents we have interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment. Research supports this idea. Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt. You also need to pick your battles. I knew that a bunch of books on the shelf were just begging to be ripped. So for awhile, we moved those into a different room. You are doing a great thing with the biting, it sucks but once them teeth are through he'll stop. I just started to use timeouts and my son is 1 1/2. Redirection was no longer working for him.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 07
I gave up on standards of "how to raise your child". I am her parent I know my instincts I do what works. At two months she was on solids. which most moms would frown on, but according to "books" when they stopping sticking there toungue out when you feed them they may be ready also my kid has been rolling over since she was two weeks. Basically My daughter will be one and she gets a little tap on teh hand and put in the playpen ( whichis teh absolute end of her world) when she refuses to listen. I swear she is to smart for her age :). So timeout for a minute or two is ok. It may take 300 times before he gets it, but hey who wants to be bitten..
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@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
10 May 07
Babies are all such individuals. It's hard to say whether or not your child is ready for time outs or not. He probably isn't, but he might be if he is understand everything around him already. My son is 15 months old, and we started time outs this week. We redirected when he was smaller. We would tell him "No, please don't pull out all the movies." or "No, please don't bite Trinitie's tail. It hurts." and then we would move him away and give him something new to play with. We started time outs, because he was starting to laugh and tell us no, when we told him not to do something, and then continue to do it anyway. He was going right back to it after we moved him away. So we had to come up with something new. Right now he sits on the couch with no toys and no pets for about a minute to a minute and a half. I tell him why he has to sit there and not play, and then hug him before I put him back on the floor. It's working pretty well. But he understands much more than he did at 10 months. He wouldn't have been ready then.
• Canada
10 May 07
My son laughs all the time when we tell him no don't touch ______ then we move him away to something else. He looks right at me laughs and goes right back for it lol. I don't think he's being purposefully bad though. I just have a hard time believing that a 10mnth old is being bad on purpose. I think he thinks it's a game.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
10 May 07
Yeah my son has been laughing when we tell him no for a while, too. The main thing that got us to try time outs was when he started going straight back for it and laughing again. I don't think that even at 15 months old he is doing it just to be bad. But we want him to learn there is a time to play games, and when we tell him no, that isn't the time to play them.
@loved1 (5337)
• United States
7 May 07
In my opinion he is not to young for a time out. I would put him in time out for a minute or two. Biting is something a lot of kids go through but you have to keep paying attention to what is causing him to bite. One thing I did when my daughter was biting (and I do with my daycare kids)is tell them that "Biting hurts people!" or "Biting is only for food". The experts say that kids that age will remember the last word you say to them. When you say "don't bite!" they hear and remember bite. If you say "Biting hurts!" they will remember that it hurts. It sounds hokey, but it really works. Best wishes to you!
• Canada
7 May 07
That's interesting. Makes sense though! I'll have to remember that. They say to keep your sentences short so it would make sense that they would remember best what you said last!
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
10 May 07
He is just a baby... 10 months old? I don't think a timeout will do you justice. He is at the age where he is learning new things and it's his job to be all over the place. I never heard of a timeout for a 10 month old baby. My son will be 16 months tomorrow and he is into everything and I also feel he is starting to know right from wrong, in some kind of way. What I mean by this is he is always pulling my glasses off my face or pulling hair and when he does this, I tell him "no, no, not nice" but I say this in a mellow tone and then I move his hands away and then I try to redirect him in another direction. Just try some redirection. I don't think timeouts is going to work just yet and I don't think you can get him to sit still at 10 months anyway. He will catch on soon enough. My son now when I say "not nice" he moves his hand on his own now. He was just like your son at 10 months. SO just be strong, it will get better. Sometimes it has to get worse in order to get better. Your an awesome mom, don't woory about it to much. It will come natural. Do what you feel is best.