about ex-boyfriends

Philippines
May 8, 2007 4:59am CST
A friend asked me of how i think of ex-boyfriends, and if it is just right to continue being friends with them even after the relationship,and ofcourse i can't give a concrete answer to that cos it depends on the person and the situation they're into. Personally speaking, I only had one ex-boyfriend, and we never became friends after breaking up. But since he is the 'my first love', then maybe i could say that I probably would never ever forget him in my entire life; and that means both in a positive and in a negative way. We've been together for almost 11months, but the coping period or the healing process I went through took a bit longer than the whole period of the relationship. It took me more than a year before I could totally succumb with the reality and to finally say that I've gotten over him. It wasn't easy to be dealing with all the heartaches especially that I was experiencing all of those at such an early age (I was barely 14 at that time.) Whenever I think of my ex before, I seek with rage, I think with angst....i totally hate everything about him! But now, being the more mature person I'am, at age 19, I have come to realize that however remorseful that chapter of my life was, I needed to endure it all to become a better person. Had I not experied it (waiting, shedding bucketful of tears, etc) then there could be no chance that I'll meet my now boyfriend of three years whose been so supportive and loving of me. I had to be in that situation for me to be able to see my worth and to appreciate myself more. This and many more I have learned from my past relationship. Truly, my ex-boyfriend taught me one of the greatest lessons I've learned in life.
5 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
8 May 07
hello my friend, I have missed you. I dont honestly feel its possible to maintain an effective viable friendship with someone you have previously been intimate with. I find too much damage is done in the breaking up for it ever to be realistic. It is true, as we mature, we tend to look back on our first love in a rose tinted vision and the further it is away, the less the pain but it is all part of becoming the person we become blessed be
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
8 May 07
well thank you for best response lol much appreciated
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@shinjiao (1464)
• China
11 May 07
My ex-boyfriend is my"first love" and I believe I will never forget him in my whole life.After we breaking up,we cannot be friends even we don't want to speak to each other.But what makes us embarrassed is that we are classmates and we have to meet for each other in the same classroom(till today.)What's worse,his new girlfriend is also my classmate!my dormmate!!my friend!!!At first,I couldn't tolerance they appeared together in my eyes,but with time went by,I felt better.To my surprised,my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend broke up and their relationship didn't repaired.They became strangers and after another thing,my ex-boyfriend initiatively talked to me again.Honestly I was happy at first,but quickly I realized that I couldn't bear him.The detailed fault of him could make me lose temper and what's worse,he always misunderstood me!I couldn't bear all about him.Till now I cannot understand why he always thinks me as a girl with malicious ideas.Once he made me have to re-think my value and my life, but finally I find that the person who should re-think the life and value is him.He thinks he is superior than everyone.He is so proud of himself.TOO SELFISH!
• Philippines
11 May 07
I have been through a couple of relationships as well. And all i can say is that i don't have that much communication with them than before anymore. As a matter of fact, i rarely hear from them at all. But no hard feelings, after all the world keeps on spinning and doesn't stop there. You should always look on the bright side of it. It is an experience worth remembering perhaps. Yes, it can be painful at times, but let's not forget that wounds do heal over time. It can take longer than expected but eventually you will end up being happy again. After all, you should learn to love yourself first before you can love others, and i mean it in a special way if you know what i mean. breakups should be taken as life experiences. we should learn from our mistakes so that we don't end up doing them again eventually in the future. i am happily single at the moment, and i enjoy it. some time the right girl will come my way. but till then, i can wait. patience is a virtue, isn't it? =)
@ritchel (890)
• Philippines
11 May 07
Break ups are really hard (based it on my own experience) especially if it just new break-ups but later on we can move on. Actually all my ex-boyfriends are all my friends. At first it was hard, i experienced the same that i get angry but later on we have able to become friends. Time heals all wounds.
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• United States
8 May 07
Hey jen, You're absolutely right. It all depends on the person and situation. Chances are though a break up isn't the most pleasant thing and you don't want to be constantly reminded of it. Your first love is someone who will always be with your heart and soul. As long as it wasn't an abusive relationship after time the negative feelings will go away and you'll remember just the good. How long that may take depends on you. It could be years but time tends to soften even the harshest of events. Life is a learning experience. You've discovered that. There are so many more lessons to learn. Both good and bad. ‹(°¿°)›
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