My stomach is turning and I feel like crying!
By patgalca
@patgalca (18179)
Orangeville, Ontario
May 8, 2007 3:55pm CST
If any of you saw today's episode of Oprah you know what I am talking about. This episode is about a 14 year old boy video-taping his father beating his mother, calling her names, swearing at her and throwing her around. It is so scary to watch. This went on for about an hour. Thank God the guy was sentenced to 36 years in jail. What a controlling SOB he is. What he did was child abuse as well.
I know I went through a beating like that, but not nearly as long, and the marriage ended within a couple of weeks. My beating took all of 15 minutes I think. But seeing it happening to someone else makes my heart wrench. If I had seen this show when I was married to my EX I may not have stayed in the marriage, or maybe I would have. This woman saw abused women on Oprah and stayed in her marriage thinking she had it better than them.
It's terrible how men think they can control women like this. And how meek and ashamed women become because of it. They must be strong and know that what they are going through is not right.
If anyone here on myLot is experiencing any kind of abuse whatsoever, even if it is just regular verbal berating, you must see it as abuse. You must be strong and you must get out. Because as it happened to this woman and myself, it started off small and escalated throughout the years. Don't let this happen to you.
This story is horrific. I would like to hear what her kids have to say. Won't know until Oprah's episode on May 24th.
3 people like this
6 responses
@theonlooker (84)
• Singapore
10 May 07
Abuse of anykind, and violence is never a nice thing to read. I remember watching an episode of Judge Judy where it was revealed a wife had been abused for no reason. And what was worse is that it took the judge to make both of them see that what had been going on was not right. It's really appalling how many abused women just take it... but then again, interviews have shown that some have just completely given up fighting back. Others are scared to report it due to threats made by their husbands. Anyhow, these are really sad cases. I think Oprah is doing a good job of discussing such issues in her show.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
12 May 07
I never could understand why women stay that long in a marriage with such abbusive husband. In my case i always watch for signs about how my husband treats me, if i don't like what he is doing i say right to his face you don't have respect for your wife! And there is this one time when we had a big fight and he tried to hurt me, i was shocked because for the first time he had laid a hand on me, i never could forget that and i said to him that never to do that to me again or try to hurt me again or he will be soo sorry for himself. As an effect of that, he never did it hurt me again and even said to me i am such a brave woman...you see my husband he is a giant and im just a little woman with no strength at all. So for all the abused women/wife out there...please be brave enough to fight for your life. And to Oprah, i salute her for bringing up such issues to make everyone aware and be warned, i watch her show because it is very inormative and we can all relate.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
9 May 07
I didn't see this episode on Oprah, but I ahave seen & heard of similar situations any a time.
Thank goodness you were srtong enough to get out of an abusive marriage quickly.
The reason many of these women do no leave these abusive marriages quickly, or not at all, is called "The Battered Wife Syndrome".
Some government & private agencies are working on this tragic & common situation, but is going to take a lot of support & recognition from the wider community for there to be any success in helping women leave, or better still, help men to stop this appalling behaviour.
Thank you for bringing up an important issue.
@patgalca (18179)
• Orangeville, Ontario
9 May 07
I did not actually get out of the marriage early. I, like so many others, thought he would change. That I could help him change. We were together 8 years in total and I should have dropped him like a lead balloon the first time he laid a hand on me before we were even living together. Frankly, I'm surprised no one in my family spoke up because it actually happened at a family event (though in a private room). But then they probably knew I wouldn't listen. As a Catholic I didn't want to end the marriage or appear a failure. HE was the one that realized that what he was doing was wrong and took off. It wasn't until after he left that I realized how much better I felt.
@APMorison (424)
• United States
9 May 07
Been there and I wish someone had had a video, it would have been easier to make the case.
A friend of mine had a situation that would have made a great Law and Order:SVU case. The dude was charming to the max, even able to get people to Lie for him. He beat her, berated her, and she ends up with Post Traumatic Stress - Him - he ends up with both of their kids and the reputation of being the poor ill used husband of the wicked woman.
The classic sociopath - can be charming, and very, very persuasive to anyone not on the 'inside' of the abuse - cops would see the bruises on her and if there was even a small mark on him he cried Self Defense and they Bought It!
My mother abused me, my sister and my dad - but I'm old enough that at the time, it just wasn't something 'one spoke about' and no one would have believed that a man was abused in his own home when he's a big strapping man and not some little wimp.
Now at least we can talk about it - some of us stand a better chance.
@sweetsue (758)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Well, it is really devastating to hear stories like this one. A buttered wife and a monster husband, what an incredulous reality. But I am at ease to learn that stories like these were revealed in public. I just hope that this news serves as wake up call or a threat to those husbands who still doing it to their wives.
I am just happy that my mom isn't experiencing that thing. And I hope I won't go through in that kind of situation.
To all buttered wives out there. Let your voices be heard!
@UDDERONES (887)
• United States
9 May 07
I am watching an eposide now and this man is beating his wife Susan. I am not sure if this is the same eposide. This eposide I am watching now is sicking.
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
13 May 07
I missed the show but you are right it sounds so very sad. It's bad enough the man does this to his wife but in front of the kid is worse. Why do use adults never think about the kids while in a heated argument?
