If you were unable to have children, what would you do?

Australia
May 9, 2007 5:46am CST
Would you get yourself/partner checked out to find out what was wrong? Would you perhaps consider adoption or IVF or surrogacy? Or would you consider it as a sign that you were one of the "unfortunate" ones who wasn't meant to have kids and leave it at that?
2 people like this
5 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
9 May 07
Well if you really want children,then i would get checked along with your partner to try and find what is causing the problem thats the first thing i would do.I would consider adoption before a surrogant,because these women or often just looking for someone to support their pregnancy,and change their minds way to easy, after having the baby.If your partner is the cause(which it would not be their fault these things happen you know...Then you might consider artificial insamination,that way you will not know who the donor is but you and your partner could at least have a choice in not getting a child that had a criminal back ground.When you adopt you sometimes don't know,but these fertitily banks know the back ground of the person... If you are the one with the problem then i would just consider adoption..I would not consider any of these choices if you and your partner can get help from your doctor....
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
9 May 07
If you and your partner love each other and you have it togeather,don't ever think of yourself as "thats your fate" I think anyone who loves children and desires to parent should do everything in their power to get a child.
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 May 07
Hi there Slickcut - hope things are better for you! I'm a real believer in fate and think that things happen for a reason. My mother was unable to have children until she had an operation and I was conceived shortly afterwards. She was not a good mother, but probably did the best she knew how. This has made me wonder that perhaps she shouldn't have had a child. OK, so I wouldn't be here!, but I have severe clinical depression as a result of my upbringing and it's only by some sort of "divine" intervention that i'm still here! I am unable to have children, very perceptive of you! The problem lies with me and not my hubby. I've never really wanted kids and it's no big deal that I can't have them. It hasn't come between our relationship in any way as hubby is not fond of kids either! I was just wondering what lengths couples would go to to have a child. It's somewhat too late for me now anyway - menopause has reared its ugly head! Thank you so much for your great response mate. Take care. lol
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 May 07
well thats wonderful then the way you and your hubby feels.My daughter is also unable to have children,that is one daughter,she loves children but she has taken over my other daughters 3 children as her own,she loves them,buys for them and everything.I myself love children,but i have five children and raised them and to tell you the truth children as sweet and as much as you love them causes you much pain...I have went through a lot with mine,its like you never quit being a mother,its a live to to die thing.heehee...I am very sorry to hear of your childhood and your mother being a bad mother.I do think that some women are cut out to be mothers and some aren't...Life is still wonderful with or without children...
1 person likes this
@r4y_m4n (93)
• United States
10 May 07
i think i would try to find out what was wrong because we're all curious, and we want to know what is wrong with your body if there is a problem then i think if you really love children and you think you can take care of it and others have said that you can take care of it as well...then i think you should adopt people shouldn't have a baby just because they think it's a sign, because i think that's being really....stupid (no offence) - i mean if you were religious...it could be a sign from the devil i mean just last year a woman was giving birth due on June 6th, 2006 and she said clearly "i do not want this child to be born on that day, i will delay it to the 7th" or something like that....but yea...i just think it's really stupid...just because of the evil number 6...doesn't mean you should take that as a sign that your child is the devil
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 May 07
Personally, it's not a problem for me not knowing what's wrong. I don't feel the need to have an exploratory operation when I don't really want children anyway. Each to their own! I wonder if that woman called her child Damian! lol Thanks so much for your response.
• United States
10 May 07
did you actually heard that on the news? i believe the woman was in england if my memories serve me correctly then i juss didn't follow up on the story and forgot all about her until now, if you know...could you tell me what happened to her child? born on 6th? named lucifer?
1 person likes this
• Australia
14 May 07
No I didn't hear it on the news - in fact I'd never heard of this until you mentioned it. I was joking when I said perhaps she should call it Damian - referring to the film called "The Omen". Perhaps you've not heard of it - It's worth a watch if you like a bit of a scare! lol
• United States
11 May 07
Since I birthed 5 children and had 3 miscarriages I was not faced with this; but I have known women who have been. I also know women who have adopted, I know lesbians who have had sperm delivered to their door and used the "turkey baster" method. I know a couple who tried IVF twice spent their life savings on it and still have no child and another couple who were successful the first time. I also know a married couple that have no children after finding out that she could not conceive and don't find themselves unfortunate at all; in fact they think they are blessed to be able to go on spontaneous trips and vacations and to have nieces and nephews for a day or a week at their choosing. After raising mine, hmmmmm?
1 person likes this
• Australia
14 May 07
Hi there! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond but what with it being Mothers' Day weekend I've been busy and not had time to log on! Wow, what a large family you have - I envy you! I've heard of the turkey baster method too. There was a great mini-series on Aussie TV a few years ago... i'm rambling again! I guess it's up to the individual as to how important having kids is to them. For me, not earth shatteringly important. Thanks for a great response as usual Donna. LOL
@Swtrose (3399)
• Canada
10 May 07
Interesting discussion. If I had of been unable to have children I would have done all the medical exams and procedures etc and if I were unfortunately unable to have children I would have adopted.
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 May 07
Hi there! Good for you. Thank you so much for responding. lol
• United States
9 May 07
yes I would look into and consider both. My kids are my life, I cant imagine not having them. What would life be like? I sometimes wonder how couples with no kids fulfill tyhier lives. I mean thats great if thats what they choose, and Im sure they have many great things going for them in thier lives but Ithink I would be lost. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mommy!!!
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 May 07
Hello there Sanderson. You sound like a great mum who's devoted to her kids. They are very lucky! Thank you so much for your opinion. lol