How do you overcome differences and problems in your relationship?

@Chryssi (828)
United States
May 10, 2007 12:57pm CST
How do you and your significant other overcome troubles that arise? If you disagree with one another, do you talk it out? Do you let the issue get out of hand and fight? Do you become so angry that you walk away and talk later? What about problems that you can't do anything about? Do you stick together and work through them as a couple? My significant other and I always talk about our problems and differences before they become escalated. We just don't get angry with one another. We haven't been able to spend much time together for the past month or so, but we've still got a very strong relationship. If one of us has doubts and fears, the other reassures and calms the one with doubts and fears.
4 people like this
20 responses
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
11 May 07
My significant other and myself have a great communication. We talk about everything. When we are upset by something we tell each otehr. We discuss why we fell this way, what made us feel this way and how we can fix it and not go through it again. We've been together for a year and a half and have really only had 3 "fights" (if you want to call them that). I love that we have such a wonderful and open communication. I think this is because we have both had relationships fall out on us and do not want to screw it up for our relationship. We take time out and do things together, we listen, not just hear but actually LISTEN to what each other has to say. We try to understand eachother even if we don't agree. The discussions aren't just one sided and we don't nag or put each other down. We work constructively with each other to resolve issues and we never lay blame as to whose fault this or that is because in actuality it is both our faults when we argue. I love this because we never take eachother for granted and we are always learning more abuot each other every day.
1 person likes this
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
11 May 07
That is exactly how my significant other and I are. We discuss everything, no matter what it is. Our relationship is rare, and we realize that. We don't take one another for granted, because we know how easily it could all be gone. He never ceases to amaze me, our relationship never ceases to amaze me. We've been together for about 6 months now, and we're just so happy and so in love. We don't put each other down, we keep each other strong. When someone else puts one of us down, if it's him, I do what I can to reassure him, and he does the same for me. It's so rare and special. ..I wish you the best in your relationship, and God bless you both.
1 person likes this
@wonderful1 (2076)
• China
11 May 07
It is impossible to overcome differences and problems during the whole life for a pair of couples. When we have a problem, we often talk with each other, sometimes after a quarrelling. For example, I like play majiang, it is a gambling game. But my bf doesn't like it. We have a difference about it. Then we talk with each other about it. He thinks it is impossbile for me to give up it and he doesn't want to limit me. So we decide that if we have enough money, he likes me to play it. I love the decision. So I can limit myself and work hard to earn enough.
1 person likes this
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
11 May 07
It's great that you've reached a compromise. That's one of the things that a relationship needs, along with so many other things. Thank you for responding, and I wish you both the best in life. God bless you.
@thai11 (239)
• United States
10 May 07
My boyfriend and I usually stop talking when we get into a disagreement. He stops so he doesn't say something he will regret later and I stop now b/c I got tired of fighting with myself!! He would literally sit there and act like I didn't exist even if I was crying in his face!! I had to learn what works for me, doesn't always work for everyone else. My bf needs time to assess the sitution before he can speak to it while I am more of a deal with it as it comes and find a solution right away type of person! We have gotten better, with some compromise on both of our parts, at communicating through a problem thoguh:)
1 person likes this
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
10 May 07
That's great to hear. I wish you both the best, and I hope you can better communicate and work through your problems. Thank you for your response and God bless you both.
1 person likes this
@shak143 (1280)
• India
10 May 07
The only thing and best is talk each other about it.Don't allow any third person if it between you and your spouse it will makes mess and it will become difficult to resolve. ot only this ant topic can be resolved by talking if we rally want to sort out the problem.Some times we have to sacrifice some things. And at the same we have to be littel bit patence.
1 person likes this
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
10 May 07
Thank you for your response, and you're right. Relationships do involve sacrifices, and patience, understanding, and so much more. Also, a relationship is meant for two people, and when more are brought into the relationship, it causes problems.
1 person likes this
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
10 May 07
We talk a lot. I am this one whoose temper raise easily. He is calm, balanced, understanding and tolerant person. And when we need to talk-he is ready to listen or to solve the situation together.
1 person likes this
@Chryssi (828)
• United States
10 May 07
That's great to hear. I wish you both the best, and God bless you both.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 May 07
actually,, i believe that problems is needed to have a better relationship.. so that, when we have problems we always make sure that before the day ended, we talk about that problems, and because we are long distance relationship, a doubts is always there, but we make sure that it will not affect our relationship, we talk the things that may possible happen and make some solutions to that problems.. our relationship is always "give-and-take relationship"
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 May 07
In my 2 years of mariage i been a through a lot of problems,and there comes a time that i almost gave up because i thought that life is too unfair.i kept on wondering why all those problems got into me.I even came to a point that i regret to why i get maaried to my partner now.But when i realized that everything happened with a purpose.There's this incident that i should say test the stability of our relationship,we become so cold to each other and we can't even agree even to the simplest thing we have.We even fight for a small stuff.We even reached to the point of separating.until we realized that problems cannot be solve by creating another problem.Thus,we decided to talk,i myself did the first move,i shallowed my pride and open the door for communication.from there we talk,though at first its too awkward because i did'nt know what to say,as the conversation flows we started to open up all our concerns on what we dont like to each other.from that single move i made by opening up the conversation with my partner and lower my pride just to settle our problem,everything follows.from their i realized that open communication or frequently communication is very important,we should set sometime to communicate each other do not neglet each others idea ,be mindful of your partners feelings and be considerate on things that you thought is right but to others mean something different.Communication is a tool to a better relationship,be a listener be mindful and sensitive to your partners needs or feelings,he/she might not to expressive of her/his feelings but at least you are trying to appreaciate whats in her/him even without telling you about what she/he feels. from there,our relationship until now i should is much better than what we have before.Though everyday is still discovery day.trying to unfold whats inside us.With better understanding to ones self and each other i know we get along well with each other,and whatever diffrences and problems we will have in the future i know we can make it through down the line.
1 person likes this
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
11 May 07
Congrats on your good relationship. I would only be qualified to comment on all the wrong ways to overcome differences and problems in a relationship. Believe it or not, it is possible to get yourself in a position where life is reallhy difficult. Have a great day.
@mari123 (1862)
• China
11 May 07
when you and your friends spend much time together,and the conflict will develop between different views to different things,no matter how the relationship is so storng that problems are still exist to your friends,i think to overcome differences and problem in our relationship,we should understand each other,and keep a friendly words to discussion a problem.and also keep calms with problem
@kirara (13)
• Singapore
11 May 07
I tend to speak up when there is any disagreements. however, my significant other tends to keep to himself and blew up only when it's over his limit. i guess this is not exactly healthy! however, we do not have many incidents where we raised our voices to each other. quite often if there is any disagreement, we will have cold war. bad as it shall seem, it gives us time to think over the problem. normally after a while, anger subsided and things are bad to normal.
1 person likes this
@nigtvamp (102)
• United States
11 May 07
We talk about things whenever they come up. It might take a day or two for whomever needs to talk to figure out what exactly needs to be address and properly formulate the questio nor how to bring it up, but we never let things fester. We both know it is better to get it out in the open right away instead of sitting and stewing on them.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 07
Hiya there..happy day to ya!When i was with my ex ..we had a great relationship..we usually talked things out..but when we had some nasty fights and ther was noo head way we had this thing we did and i loved it..one of us would say..PAUSE!!!!!! thenwe would stop fighting..yea just like that,and we would go do soemthing like get pizza,shopping,visit friends..and later when we were cooled down either one would say..PLAY.and then we would talk about what happened and the anger was all gone and heads cleared..and resolved it..well until the day i caught him with my friend..THERE WAS ONLY.GET THE HELL OUT! ..lol lol..
• United States
11 May 07
My boyfriend and I get into arguments (as does any couple)but we neevr go to sleep angry. Even if we still do not agree after fighting, we tell each other we dont want to fight and move on. Everyone is different and we're not going to agree on everything.
@woobie (88)
• United States
11 May 07
We don't really argue with each other in a yelling way. We can tell when the other person is mad about something and we wait until we are both calm enough to talk about things without yelling at each other. Sometimes it has takes 2 or 3 days for things to get to the point where we could talk about it but it is better than yelling at each other. We have been married for 13 years and it has worked well for us. It sounds like you two handle things in a similar way, too.
• Nigeria
11 May 07
well diffences and troubles are boung to occur in a relationship but the essence is to have a view and to learn what your other partner likes or dislikes. Differences should be welcomed because you are two totally different people with unmarked ideas and principles. You have to learn to accomodate the other persons idealogies as that is the essence of a relationship
• Australia
11 May 07
me and my partner dont fight but we are like little kids to sort our problems out i call him later when he nips out or he calls me and we talk or we email each other but fingers crossed so far havent had a fight hopefully wont
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
11 May 07
Sure, at times we get angry and fight, however we always solve the problems pretty fast. The best way ofcourse is to talk it through and just respect that u might not have the same opinions always-
@rosie_123 (6118)
11 May 07
Well Chryssi - it sounds like your relationship is good and strong. My partner and I are also similar. We always talk things through, and have this agreement never to let "the sun go down on an argument". Of course we sometimes have differences - that is only normal - I think it is almost unhealthy when you read of people who say they never disagree - it generally means that one continually has to give in to the other. But never shout and scream and row with each other - we sit down and talk about what we feel and how we wish to resolve things.
• India
11 May 07
To overcome trouble we first realize the trouble. and then find the point from where the trouble start. And think how to end this trouble.
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
11 May 07
I guess speaking frakly with ur partner do help... As in... When u dun talk and assume, it kills... Really... Besides... Assumption gets u nowhere... Talk sense though... Everything works provided both of u wanna overcome the trouble... NO use one is interested, the other party give up... I guess in a relationship... We should be frank to one another and be more understanding and forgiving... Not forgive yet not forget... I used to be one such person... but it doesnt helps... the person suffering will be noone other then u urself...