Jealousy Becomes Me: Jealous Guy

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
May 10, 2007 2:45pm CST
I am not usually a jealous guy, but lately I have been really jealous, and in the lyrics one of my favourite singers Bryan Ferry I'm just a jealous guy. At my gym Kirsty has just returned from two weeks on holiday with her beau and she couldn't wait to flaunt herself and her golden brown tan to everyone today, expecting people to fawn all over her. I just ignored her choosing to keep my headphones on, not acknowledging her. I was so jealous, she is young, beautiful and is the manager of the gym, so has a great job, she has a wonderful boyfriend, got her own house and life is just great for her? She even waved an engagement ring under my nose before going on holiday Then I look at my life compared to hers and mine is shite, it's just not fair! I must have been evil in my last life, why can't I have what she has got, or at least half of what she's got, why has she got EVERYTHING? Sorry to sound depressing and I'm NOT looking for sympathy, just tell me I'm an idiot and being a child, life ain't great, it is shite. I know jealousy is a bad thing but why does she get EVERYTHING in life and I have NOTHING? Do you ever feel this way, you look at your life and then at others and see other people having everything? And you get all the shite in life and have the square root of bu**er all?
8 people like this
17 responses
• Singapore
10 May 07
Don't be jealous. Well, be jealous. It doesn't matter lol. I know what you are feeling. I feel the same too. Don't compare, it hurts, it just makes you more depressed. I thought you promised to perk up? Have you forgotten already? :P
5 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
Trouble is I am always comparing, I am truly without a doubt my own worst enemy, sorry I have forgotten I'm a wolf not an elephant!
3 people like this
• Singapore
10 May 07
Wouldn't want you to become an elephant. Imagine a wolf the size of an elephant and the memory of one! A literally BIG BAD wolf who doesn't forget! *horror* *gasp* :P
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
You always have a talent of making me smile and laugh too, I think there must be a full moon tonight, cos I'm howling with pity not happiness
3 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
10 May 07
Been thee felt that honey but you have to stop being an idiot and acting like a child! It is part of the depression sweetheart - it makes you feel you are worthless and can't do anything right - know I've been there and felt that way and sometimes still do! You are a wonderful guy with so much to offer! I love you so much honey and hate to see you put yourself down all the time - a brighter future is just around the corner - honestly sweets - just srart believing in yourself! xxx big hugs xxx
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
I am my own worst enemy always was always will be, who needs others to put me down when I do a stirling job of it myself. When someone has put you down for most of your life through bullying, telling you you are not good enough, you're ugly, you're a joke after 20 odd years it sinks in, like a broken gramophone record. 20 years of negative programming is very hard to get shot off, but I am glad I have got you my friend so life isn't all that bad, I just get dark times xxxx
3 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
11 May 07
I know that the negative programming is hard to break sweetheart but I will always be here trying to break into it and turn it into a positive one! I know what the dark times are like honey and just try to remember you are not alone when the black clouds are over you!xxx big hugs xxx
2 people like this
@sweetlady10 (3617)
• United States
10 May 07
I can understand your situation wolfie. But jealousy will take you nowhere, just will give more depression. Jealousy is not good at all for us. You know wolfies, we should not compare ourself with others. That always hurts. Whatever we have we should try to be happy with that. But ofcourse we should try to make our life better, that is a different stroy though. When you feel jealous or depress by seeing somone doing far better than you, then you should look at those people who has nothing but hunger and poverty. Be thankful to GOD that you are in a better position tahn millions of people in this world. I know it is hard to make understand yourself. I also go through this kind of depression sometime. But we all have to live happily with whatever we have.
3 people like this
@rosie_123 (6118)
10 May 07
Oh my friend wolfie - please don't think like that. Jealousy is such an ugly, horrid emotion - it eats people up and destroys them, and you are worth too much for that. You are a great person - kind, considerate, caring, intelligent.............to ruin your natural warmth by harbouring feelings like this against this poor girl is really not like you at all. No one ever knows what life has in store for us. Your life may suddenly change for the better tomorrow.... or maybe Kirsty will have some really dreadful things in her life that no one could be jealous of. She may be young and beautiful now but no one knows what is round the corner for anyone. So please don't be bitter against her. Try not to poison your mind with such bad thoughts about a young girl that you really don't know so well. It really doesn't become you, my friend. Be happy for her that she is young and healthy, with a nice home, and a job, and a partner to love her - she did not ask for you to be sad - she just had a lucky throw of the dice - it may not last forever - who knows. So please - just be yourself, be proud of yourself, and try and like yourself because there is a lot in you to like.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
10 May 07
Sorry Rosie I know you're right, but for the past 9 years the dice has been real nasty to me and fate has dealt me with some bad cards. I know that eventually both jealousy and bitterness will eat me up, it's like a cancer isn't it. I am my own worst enemy and it'll only be me pushing the self-destruct button no one else, sadly the status quo will never change.
4 people like this
@rosie_123 (6118)
10 May 07
Well I will still retain my faith that things will turn around for you. I know it must be hard if you're feeling depressed (I admit it's something I have never suffered from), - but life is there for the taking, so reach out and take it:-)) There is an old Argentne saying roughly translated as "Optimism is a wonderful thing - 1 part Optimism is worth 100 parts Pessimism", and I firmly believe that the more you thing bad things will happen, the more they will, but equally the more you look forward positvely, the better they will be:-)) So - please - try and be positive, think positive, happy, optimistic thoughs, and believe in yourself - and you have many friends here that will we keeping their fingers crossed that things will improve for you.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
Your fellow Ed, is a very very lucky man indeed to have such a wonderful lady like you, thanks Rosie x
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
11 May 07
Wolfie, life is what you make it. I know you don't believe me but it is true. You cant make others behave the way you want them too (God knows i have tried) BUT you can do something about your own life. I know you want to find a job as child care provider but maybe you should try it from another angle. Try looking into nanny jobs, or try going as a teachers aide. If you really wanna work with kids. Maybe volunteer with kids. Like a camp. This will help you get that foot in the door. the only person who can bring you down is you!! Lift your head up and go for the gold wolfie. I know you can do it. Stop being jealous. I get jealous of all these girls who are after you but I have to live with it lol xxx
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
What girls lol? I know as I said before who needs enemies when I have got one around me 24/7 ME. It's ME who pushes the self-destruct button, it's force of habit. My tutor once told me I am too hard on myself. I am. It goes with the past I'm afraid. It's a vicious circle, I am indeed my own worst enemy who has the finger on the trigger of the self-destruct button and I'm always quick on the draw, but thanks sweetie x
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
11 May 07
its ok wolfie i still love ya. you know i am always here for you anytime you want to talk Hugs to my sweet wolfie
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
Wolfie I will not call you an Idiot or anything We all get like that at times I do about one particular thing But in the same Breath think of it this way Do not ponder on what you have not got look at what you have got and remember Sweetie you have a great lovely and caring Personality, you are a nice Guy, you care for People and you have a lot of Friends that care for you You are rich Sweetie and always remember that richer then her
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
I am lucky in that I know you and have made other wonderful friends here on Mylot, so in that way I am richer. So thanks my dear friend x
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 May 07
You are welcome Sweet that is how I keep it going when I sometimes why can't I ..... I remember what I have got and how rich I am xx
1 person likes this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
10 May 07
Don't worry about being jealousy it sounds like she's nothing but a show off. You are a nice person and just be yourself.
2 people like this
12 May 07
I understand what you are saying and I think most people go through this at some point in their lifes, even this woman, she may have had the crappiest childhood and is just beginning to be happy, no ones knows. I remember when I had my 2 kids and stayed at home for 9 years. I was so jealous of people who had geniune friends who they could have a laugh with. I was sitting in the dentist one day, doing the usual boring motherly duty and all the workers there were talking about going out together for their xmas party. I felt so alone and so jealous that I was not doing this. I lost alot of friends when I had my kids and meeting other mums was not my idea of fun. I lost my identity and for years suffered with panic attacks when I went outside my comfort zone. However, years later I got back on my feet and I am now finishing my degree. You just never know whats round the corner. You will get through this and look back at it and realise its just another learning experience to take with you on your journey. I know many people who have had terrible lifes, loosing their children, loved ones but they find an inner strength to go on and conquer. Wolfie, yours i'm sure is just round the corner.
1 person likes this
12 May 07
By the way have you heard of Susan Jeffers, she is brilliant for motivation. I read her book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway. It really helped me when I had to face the big wide world again. She has a website and you can join her monthly mailing list to receive inspiration. Heres the site if you are interested. www.susanjeffers.com
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
12 May 07
Thank you for sharing, that's exactly how I feel now, I much rather lock myself away, live alone and avoid people. I wish I knew what was around the corner and I really wish I knew when I was going to die, so it would make life more bearable and I could play and appreciate life a little better. Thanks for the link too, will check that out x
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
12 May 07
Sweetie, you are in a rut....stop wallowing...or you will drown! All of us can look around and find someone who might have a better lifesytle....maybe, but remember that looks can be deceiving..... Maybe someone is looking at you thinking....damn, why does wolfie have it so good....what makes him so lucky??? Stop acting like a child!!!----requirement fulfilled!!! FEEL BETTER NOW??? *wink, wink* *grin* You are entirely too nice of a person to let this crap get to you....I know that life may not be what you would like it to be right now...but who controls that???? It is YOU....right???? Depression is a serious thing....maybe you should discuss this with your physician....don't be mad...I am thinking of you...when depression begins to interfere with your quality of life...it is time to do something productive about it.....think about, my friend....I am concerned!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
12 May 07
All my doctor wants to do for me is give me damn anti-depressants which DON'T work for me. Either that or another visit to the witch doctor (pyschiatrist) which goes on my records so I have to explain that to future employers, vicious circle. The only person who causes this depression is ME the only person who can cure this depression is ME but finding the happy medium, lol, easier to win the lotto x
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
11 May 07
People feel like this all the time, but let me tell u something. People that need to flaunt themselves and need to rub it into people that they have a prefect life and are so happy, usually are not. They just want so seem like they are. I have a good life, I have a job, a wonderful family and a great bf. I am pregnant and i am so looking forward to it. However I do not run around telling all people how great my life is - coz it is not always the case. I also have abad days, I also get jealouse of other people, I also have dedpressing days.. So chin up - you have a good life if u compare to alot of others =)
1 person likes this
• United States
11 May 07
i feel this way all the time. i look at people's lives and what they have and i get jealous and angry. my life was once headed in a great direction. i was in school, had great grades, great friends...now it is a complete mess and i wil never have it back. i'm sorry, i don't ean to be a downer. i am just so damned depressed and i can't do anything about it.
1 person likes this
12 May 07
Unfortunately it is all too easy to look at yourself and compare to others and always feel as though what you have isn't good enough or that you are envious and jealous of what others have. I do it all the time, I'm 27, live at home still, can't drive, have been through a lot in life and haven't really got much confidence etc. I look at other people and see them having all the things I wish I could have. But then I started to think again, and tried to put things into perspective, I am not sure that I am the sort of person that would ever be totally happy, because I think I have a drive to always want to move forward so even if I had all the things and relationships in the world I'd probably still be looking at ways to tweak things.. I think most people are actually like that even if they don't admit to it. A lot of people are actually very good at putting on an appearance that all is fine when actually it might not be. I think its a case of saying, yeah there are things about my life I want to change, but circumstances and chances in life may just be lucky for some people at one point in time.. no one knows what is around the corner.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
12 May 07
Thank you my friend and hey there is absolutely NO shame whatsoever to be living at home still, I didn't move out until I was 26. With the expense of getting onto the property ladder in this day and age and the extortionate rental charges from unscrupulous landlords, you are better off living alone, there is no stigma whatsoever, in fact I could actually go as far as saying that I am jealous of you LOL! I think if I knew what the future had in store for me i.e. I knew when the good things and when the bad things were going to happen so I could prepare and if I know when I was going to die it would make things more easier and life more bearable.
@lols189 (4797)
20 Jul 07
my life was shite too when i was 16 but since i have been with my boyfriend i get everything i want which i am happy with. hope your life will be exciting soon as possible wolfie
@Naomi17 (624)
13 May 07
Life throws a lot of the people who have got it all at us! but have they? You don't know what they have unless you have walked in there shoes. Why not look on the positives in life sometimes its hard the last few weeks i keep thinking what next i feel under pressure at work and i come home to the childrens problems, but then i remember how blessed i am, making changes help if something isn't working get rid! Today i am tired i have worked the last 6 days work again tomorrow but then something you read makes me feel lucky. we all get jealous sometimes but if we had there life maybe you would be disappointed
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
12 May 07
you will have your special things and there will be times when people will be jealous of you. One thing is for sure,it usualy dosnt all come at once but in stages.....best wishes for all your dreams to come true....and dont let her bother you..., you will have your wonderful days.....
@weemam (13377)
12 May 07
I have read all of your brilliant responses here pal and there isn't much I can add , How do you know that its not all show with this girl , if she knew what a great guy and great pal you are and all the friends you have then she might be the one who is jealous , Don't think because she is laughing all the time that she has no worries , I laugh all the time and it just covers up my worries pal , You are a nice and genuine person and she sounds really shallow , be happy with who you are pal , I for one like the Wolfie I know and love xxxx
@smacksman (6074)
11 May 07
It's always a problem for ugly bug*ers like you and me! haha Why don't you just admire this girls beauty. She won't have it for long so relish looking at her while you can. She knows it and loves to show it - so enjoy.