Forgiveness

United States
May 10, 2007 5:22pm CST
I believe that forgiveness does not mean you have to allow the person or persons who wronged you back into your life-especially if it's happened numerous times before. Some people believe that it isn't forgiveness unless you allow that person or persons back in. I think, in some cases, that's just "setting yourself up" for more pain and problems. I think sometimes the only way to keep someone else from dragging you down or keeping you down, is to walk away-and you can forgive someone and still walk away. Has anyone had this experience? Would you forgive and walk away or would you forgive and give the person or persons yet one more opportunity to hurt you?
3 people like this
16 responses
@taurean83 (505)
• United States
11 May 07
I believe that if someone hurts me or break my heart or does aything wrong to me and then He confess it and apologize for what he done and want forgiveness I will definitely forgive him/her but one thing will remain in my heart forever that He was the person who hurt me a lot and i will expect the same thing for that person again and again But i won't forgive him/her again and again.I will Expect every worse from him/her cause if he/she has done something wrong to me once they can do it 10000 times.So i will be more alert by them an will not trust them anymore.Coming back in someone life's, I would say if somebody do something wrong to you it doesn't mean that he/she is not a part of your life anymore.Everyone makes mistake but the great is one who accepts his mistake and ask for apology.We don't build relations upon what will happen in future so why we don't expect everything from everyone Every human can makes mistake but one who ask for apology and knows his mistake is great we should forgive him/her and give them 2nd chance As 2nd chances in life are very important.So one could proof himself that He is not that bad May be that person is change.Why you expect good from him be alert but give him second chance.
• United States
11 May 07
Thanks for responding.
@okn0tok (569)
• United States
10 May 07
In my religion you must accept someones apology and forgive them, but only if they ask. I do think you should be required to keep them in your life. If it hurts ou and they repeat the actions or repeat hurting you it is only fair for you to forgive yourself for letting them abuse you and walk away for good.
2 people like this
• United States
11 May 07
Thanks for responding.
• United States
11 May 07
I believe that we all make different choices in when and who to forgive, and how many times. I happen to believe that if someone hurts you several times, you have the right to cast them out of your life; but forgiving them for what they've done at the same time. I've done this, and i'v e jugded. I'm sorry for being that way as well, but sometimes people just hurt you in the wrong ways. You shouldn't doom yourself to relationships, friendships, or any situation that can hurt you repedativly.
• United States
27 Jun 07
I agree completely. Thanks for responding.
@Ashrafm (16)
• Egypt
11 May 07
I agree with you. Forgivness is the act of just forgetting anything negative that came from a persona and just basiscally starting from a new page. It does happen when you forgive and just leave and i think that this is just normal. Somtimes it is better for both sides and at the same time both no longer are sad from each other. But i think that when there is forgiveness both sides should realize or know it. I mean you can't have forgivness without both sides knowing. That is key. Thanks for that great discussion.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
I agree that the forgiveness needs to be known by the offending party-but it still doesn't mean you have to allow that person back into your life. Some people are toxic and life is too short to have to spend it constantly being poisoned emotionally. Thanks for responding.
@mshjv44 (147)
• France
11 May 07
it's forgive and forget!!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
Thanks for responding.
• United States
11 May 07
Personally, I think that forgiveness means you have stopped letting what that person has done to you bother you. You don't have to let them back into your life if they are toxic. Just stop letting it bother you and that to me is forgiveness.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
I agree completely. Thanks for responding.
@thefuture (1750)
• Nigeria
11 May 07
Yea that's correct. It doesn't really mean coming back to that person who wronged you, but not having grudge with him/her. I will just forgive him, but that doesn't mean am going to stay away from him/her, but will be careful. Thanks
• United States
27 Jun 07
Thanks for responding
• Philippines
11 May 07
For me, forgiveness i a long process. It does not end by just saying "i forgive you". Lets face it, we are hurt by what the person did and we need a lot of thinking whether we can still trust that person and share about our life to him/her. Ive been hurt a lot of times by people close to me and whom i trusted and it took me a long time to firgive him/her and bring back the kind of relationship we have before. Now i believe that TIME HEALS all the wounds. i can forgive but i cant forget what the person did to me. It serves as a lesson as well to leave something for myself. I know my self so well and i can say that with my personalit, im very much vulnerable to being hurt. im sensitive in terms of feelings and im trying to overcome the hurt that people caused me. When i forgive i still want that person to be a part of me knowing that he/she can hurt me again. The best thing to do is be honest with the person.
• United States
11 May 07
Thanks for responding.
@faruqy (155)
• Indonesia
11 May 07
Well I don't have problem with forgive and forget. But I have problem to apologizing. It's not because I don't want to say sorry but it's because I have little problem to comunicate with other people.
1 person likes this
@czy0578 (26)
• China
11 May 07
we should forgiveness to people,i still agree forgiveness is virtue
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I think forgiveness can be a for of "letting go". Letting go of your anger and letting go of your pain. You don't have to let them have a chance at hurting you again. You can just decide that is who they are and nobody is perfect and try to move forward without holding on to the bitterness. That is what forgiveness means to me. It can almost be a selfish thing. Not in a bad way. If you forgive and let go of your bitterness, you will become happier. If you don't forgive and you remain bitter, you are the one that suffers. Forgiveness definately does not mean you have to let them hurt you again. You can forgive someone and still choose not to have them in your life.
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
2 Jul 07
It is one thing to forgive someone, it is quite another thing to alow them to continue to hurt you repeatedly. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
15 May 07
Forgiveness - it is for once only . I would not allow the person license to hurt me again and again.
@anku888 (136)
• India
11 May 07
First of all forgiveness is very hard and other thing is you should know if they deserve it.I can't forgive anyone who done something that hurt me and I usually walk away or leave them behind and I don't want to see them again in my life.Forgiving one is forgetting their mistakes and trust them once again and most of the people who was forgiven tend to do the same thing to us and I have seen it in other's life so forgiving someone is Godliness and it can't be acquired easily.if you leave them behind or walk away or move away from them is not forgiving. It's just an illusion of mind and don't be a prey to it. You want to say someone that you forgive them and you are great enough to do that. But that's not true. forgiveness means forgiving tham in all sense and being friendly with them be as you were with once again. So don't you think it's hard to ?
• United States
11 May 07
Yes forgiveness definitely does not mean that you need to allow yourself to a be a welcome mat for more abuse. Forgiveness is mostly for the person doing the forgiving, it allows you to release the hold that pain has over your heart. It doesn't mean that you forget and that the behaviour continue. We need to learn from our experiences, draw strength from them and follow the lessons taught.
11 May 07
I definitely agree with you on this one. I had a friend who let me down so many times, and I forgave her every time. One day it happened with something really quite important, and I realized that she was the kind of friend that I needed, or that I had time for anymore. I cut all ties with her, and we no longer speak now. That does not mean that I have not forgiven her for what she did, That's all in the past now, but I realized that she had let me down one too many times and that she would do it again if we continued to be friends. I am much happier without her in my life now, even though that sounds harsh!