children who dont listen to just me

@tina12679 (1126)
United States
May 11, 2007 6:00pm CST
I have 3 children that will take instruction and listen to everyone but me. My oldest is only 6 and the other ones are 3 and half and 19 months. I get mouthed back to all the time and when i ask them to pick their things up and put stuff away it is the worst. I have to constantly yell at them which has little or no effect either. Punishing them by grounding them from things and taking away privleages doesnt help either. What do you do when you are the boss and have no control?
4 people like this
3 responses
@Darkwing (21588)
11 May 07
I think, as they are all so young, you have little time to spend with any of them individually, and they're probably trying to get your full attention by rebelling or being naughty. I don't think punishment will work in this case... I feel you have to give rewards, not material rewards, but reward them with your time whenever they're good. Something like playing a game together, having a colouring competition, and you sit down and do it with them, and praise them for their efforts. I know you probably don't have a whole lot of time, but bonding is very important at this age. You could get hold of some children's scissors and get them cutting out shapes and patterns... see who can do the prettiest. Things like that, where you can involve yourself with them, and leave other things until they're in bed. I'm sure it's your attention they're seeking. Good luck with this... I hope I'm helping a little. Brightest Blessings.
@Darkwing (21588)
11 May 07
Sorry... an afterthought. If the eldest goes to school, maybe put aside from 3.30 to 5.00 for bonding, and doing things together with your kids? It would be good to get into that sort of a routine, don't you think?
1 person likes this
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
16 May 07
I am working on this i acually have a few opportunities throughout the day to have one on one time with my kids. While the 2 older are in school i spend time with my youngest, then the middle comes home first and i spend togther time with the 2 youngest. and when the oldest gets home she usually wants some time by herself playing a video game and i lay the youngest down to nap and spend time witht the middle child, then a little later it is homework time for the oldest or our time to share together while the middle on goes off and plays before the youngest wakes from nap. so i am trying this out, it has been only a few days, they havent changes yet but i am hoping to see some progress soon.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
16 May 07
I'm sure you will see some progress very soon. You seem to be handling things in a very organised manner, which will certainly benefit your kids. Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 May 07
How does your husband treat you? If he doesn't have any respect for you than that is what they see and mock daddy.
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
16 May 07
We do have issues with this as well, he sometimes underminds my authority, so the kids turn to him when i am trying to get them to listen and they think he will not let me carry out the timeout or whatever i had told them to do. They used to listen to him really well but as of lately he really cant get them to listen and do what they are told without being mouthed off.
1 person likes this
@alilswt (388)
• United States
15 May 07
it is nice to hear i'm not alone i feel ya my daughter is 6 and my son is 4 and i deal with the same thing nothing works you take away a toy then you hear "that's ok i have another toy" or something like that nothing fazes them mainly my 6 year old it is hard to handle my hubby helps as much as he can but he works a lot so it is mostly on me i think now it is just a faze and they will grow out of it you are not the only mom going threw this i know i think i am sometimes thanks for the post it helps to know it is not just me
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
16 May 07
Ya it does help know that there are other mothers out there struggling with the same thing. knowing that it isnt just our children that are bad. My hubby and i have had clashing issues sometimes with the children. I yell alot ( i learned that from my mom) but i still dont get my point across but it annoys him that i do this so he yells at me and the kids see that as my authority being underminded and it doesnt help my cause at all. he use to be able to get them to listen to him now not so much he is even starting to have problems with the oldest ones not listening. I aslo hear the go ahead i have another toy saying a few times as well acually a few times to many a couple time where i had taken thier toys every last one of them from them for a few days and also their tv. I have a huge problem with them cleaning up their toys without making a huge deal out of it, i didnt play with that the other child did or they just whine and try to get out of it so i take the toys that they dont want to pick up so they dont have to worry about it anymore. well if you come across anything that works let me know thanks for your comment.
1 person likes this