will you still accept him / her?

@a_ce_e (1427)
Philippines
May 12, 2007 11:32am CST
You've been in a long term relationship with your bf/gf say for more than 3 years, suddenly time comes and you had discovered something from his/her family background. One of his/her family member had been mentally ill sometime ago and had been from mental hospital and had finally cured. Now my question is, after what you had discovered from his/her background, will still accept him/her as your bf/gf? Will you still love him/her despite of this fact? Thanks for sharing. =)
8 people like this
34 responses
@babykay (2133)
• Ireland
12 May 07
it depends on how you view mental illness. If you see it as primarily a genetic thing where it is passed on through the genes, then you should think that there is a higher possibility of your future children suffering from a mental illness. On the other hand you could view mental illness as something that is caused by family or social environment which means your kids might be exposed to this through the environment your bf or gf provides as a parent. I would continue in the relationship if it was me to be honest, because its not actually the person but a member of their family.
1 person likes this
@a_ce_e (1427)
• Philippines
13 May 07
What if the mental illness was genetic and hereditary? And of course you might be thinking your offspring might inherit it. So will you still accept him/her as a partner to be?
@rudz006 (209)
• Malaysia
12 May 07
Maybe small percentage your partner will have that mental illness.Just live your live.We cant control our destiny.
1 person likes this
@a_ce_e (1427)
• Philippines
13 May 07
Yeah, that's what i am thinking. It is said that mental illness was genetic and could be hereditary. So, there is a chance that your bf might suffer from it too. As what i had observed in my country, families were very conservative in this kind of situation, of course your family care for you and they don't want you to get into trouble soon and mostly they reject your bf/gf and this sometimes pressurize you. So, will you still love him/her?
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
6 Nov 07
Well if I found out my husband had someone in his family with mental illness, I would want to find out if it is inherited. Mind you both our families have heart condition and diabetes, so it is not as if that would be a shock, but I do not know what to do with a mental illness. You might have to accept that in the future your boyfriend might have to take medication for the rest of his life and if the children would inherit it. If you loved him, well it should not matter, but with your situation, he might not worry that you will leave him. So it might be that if you do not want to leave him, that you might have to make things permanent and risk what your society might say. I am talking marriage.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
13 May 07
Most definitely still accept him. I'm committed to him and not his family. If he happens to have any such mental illness later on in life, I will deal with it when and if it happens, other than that, I would still want him to be part of my life and love him for who he is!
• India
13 May 07
why not accept him\her as she\he has not done any fault for that as when you love some one then you have to take care of some thing that you are not one you are two and you have to decide sinceraly as you are not a child you are a grown up one and you know that what is wrong and what is right and when you know that some one is having some fault in her\him family then you have to help her \him not to live her\him in this position .... he \she has done no fault then why he \she getting the punishment and why live .... you know that 'the friend is in need is the friend indeed " so we have to help and this is the responsibility tHAT you have to help .....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 07
you love the person u are with. it is not always the case that when the family backgorund is not good, the person would not be also good too. we have our own personality, always remember that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 07
if you truely love him as he is, you can accept him..one way of accepting him is accepting his family as well
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
13 May 07
Mental illness happens and there is no way to pick and choose who it is going to strike. If you really love you bf or gf it won't make any difference to you. I wouldn't stop being with someone just because someone in his/her family had suffered from mental illness. I would just be more aware of behavior changes so that if I noticed my bf or gf starting to bahave differently or starting to fall into a depression I could help them get the help they needed. Most mental illness can be controlled or even cured with proper diagnois and medication. I mean seriously, if you were married to someone and one day they started showing signs of mental illness, would you just walk away from them? Of course not. You love them and you stick by them to help them as best you can. Same goes for your bf or gf. If you really love them, you don't abandon them, you stand by them.
1 person likes this
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 May 07
I would as long as the fact you find out is not essential for the relationship, or that it had been hidden deliberately as in trying to deceive you. In any other case i think i wouldn't mind.
1 person likes this
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
13 May 07
Of coz i will remain with my guy... 3 years is not ultra long, but its not very short either... To stay together for 3 years, u guys must have love each other... If not, how to maintain? I guess the family side is not too much of a problem... With love, everything can be overcome... I mean his family can help out too right? I guess it will be better to share things with ur guy... talk things out... it helps...
1 person likes this
@nancygibson (3737)
• France
13 May 07
I can't see why this fact would have any impact on a relationship unless is a hereditary illness that they think will affect your partner in the near future. Even then, its a case of 'how do we get through this' not 'should we break up'. Lots of people have mental illnesses, ranging from depression upwards, its no bigger a deal than having a cancer patient or someone with one leg in the family.
1 person likes this
@laiyongjun (1337)
• China
13 May 07
if the love is true love between us,i will accpet her no matter what happen in the future. sometimes love means that sacrifice. if the love is not true love between us, even though nothing wrong will happen, we will break up one day. this is my own opinion. thank you very much.
1 person likes this
13 May 07
It's not about the partner directly. It's not his fault and there is no reason to expect him to go thrugh the same process. No It wouldn't affect wether I wanted him to be my boyfriend or not.
1 person likes this
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
13 May 07
Why wouldn't you accept them? What does that other persons mental illness have to do with your relationship? Thats like aksing would you still love someone if their cousin was arested or if their uncle stole a car. It has no real bearing on your relationship and shouldn't matter. So what someone in their family had some emotional issue that they needed treatment for. It doesn't make them any less of a person and shouldn't make you feel any less love for your bf/gf/husband/wife. If it does then maybe you don't really love them to began with.
1 person likes this
@dixits (104)
• India
13 May 07
actually yhere is no need to dicuss about this its very simple if he/she likes her then there is no problem and now that member is cured then no problem i would have accepted he/she.
1 person likes this
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
13 May 07
I think if you really love the person truly and sincerely and you cant imagine living without that person, well then it doesnt matter at all if she /he had mental ill runs on their blood. That they tell that love conquers all and you will accept everything on him/her.
@dbeast (1498)
• India
12 May 07
of course i ll still love the person no matter what the persons background is.it is the particular person i love and not the family member.i wont create any fuss over it.after all this is not an issue at all.as long i love my partner and she loves me i wont worry at all.
1 person likes this
• India
12 May 07
There may be some feelings of flutterings and flusterings,on coming to know of such facts, but if it had been true love that you were having with the other person you can't leave him/her.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
12 May 07
Absolutely, without question! Afterall I am in love with this person not their family member. People shouldn't be judged by their family. I mean seriously! That is how fights and wars start and that is how people keep ignorant. If you met a Canadian that was rude and stinky and mean, swearing and grabbing your bum would you assume I was the same way because I am a Canadian? I hope not! Just because one person is a certain way doesn't mean that everyone from that area, religion, race, family etc.. is. You love this person for 2 or 3 years you have built a relationship, built a life for so long with this person. You love them and they love you. It would be horrible to turn your back on him/her over something as unrelated to your relationship as a mentally ill family member.
1 person likes this
• India
12 May 07
I would have still loved her and accepted her as she is . If there is a long term relationship between us for more than 3 years then how the family background criteria does comes at all .Are we having some business collaboration's or What? in true love it does not matter.
1 person likes this