caught in the middle...

Philippines
May 14, 2007 11:47am CST
lately i seem to have become the receiver of wives suffering due to their husbands infidelity. yesterday a friend of mine asked for my help. she caught her husband having an affair with a girl half his age. his 38. she's asking me to give her the address of the girl because she works in the company i'm working with. aside from the fact that as a HR staff i cannot just divulge confidential record of our employees to anybody the girl is also very close to me. but i can feel the pain and suffering my friend is going through right now. i also know why she wants to get the girl home address. she wants to talk to her personally. problem is even if it's true that our employee is having an affair i cannot act against her because it's not happening inside the company. the husband nor the wife are our employee. but if i don't help her, my friend will think that i'm being bias. if you were in my shoe would you help your friend and give in her to her request?
3 people like this
9 responses
@lightningMD (5937)
• United States
14 May 07
No,I wouldnt give her the address. It is not worth losing your job over. THe person she needs to be talking to is her husband. He is the one who decided to break their marriage vows. It doesnt matter if the girl was standing naked in the middle of his bedroom,he sould have said no thanks I'm married and walked away.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 May 07
Thanks for your opinion. Actually, my friend and her husband already talked about it and he said that it was over. But, apparently it is not over yet.
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
15 May 07
maybe u can arrange for them to meet, its better then giving her ur colleague's address... if u r present, i guess ur mind will be more at ease too...
• Philippines
16 May 07
i was also thinking that maybe it's the best option i have to be able to help my friend. anyway, so far today my friend has not call me yet i'm hoping she won't push through with her plan.
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
16 May 07
Yah, but actually, i can understand how she is feeling right now... Its not something we can understand totally... So i guess u should stay by her and give her more courage and support to get her over this tide... All the best...
@Gorgeous24 (1092)
• United States
14 May 07
I would definitely help my friend 100 percent. You and her could sit down and really discuss this with her..you both should come up with a plan to say incase you both get questioned as to how your friend found her address. Your friend could say she followed her husband to his homewreckers house and thats how she got the address. Put yourself in her shoes..would you want her to help you if you were in her situation? Im sure you would...so help her out. Make sure you come up with a plan before you give the homewreckers address out.
• Philippines
15 May 07
thanks for your opinion. i do really wanna help my friend but at the same time i'm also duty bound to protect the privacy of our employee. if my friend did something bad to our employee i would be at fault. it's really a difficult situation.
• United States
15 May 07
No you should not give her the address. Explain to her that you could lose your job if it gets back that you gave her the information. If she is a true friend to you she will understand your position and not pressure you this way. That's a hard position for anyone to be in. I feel for you. Good luck.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 May 07
sme opinion here. it is the gy who broke their vows... i think the husband should talk to his wife and clarify such things and must be settled in private.
@Norstar (695)
• India
14 May 07
No, you should not give the address because you have to follow the rules of the company. It is strange that your friend has to talk to the girl and not her own husband. Her husband may go for all the girls in the town. Does that mean your friend would go to the house of each girl and beg for sparing her husband? Can she not find another husband who would not betray her and her trust? You on your part can help her in deciding her future course of action. I wish you both all the best.
@reachravi (453)
• India
14 May 07
I think you should not come in between this...as it will be against your company rules what you can do is rather talk to your friend and share her sorrow...if possible you can get that girl to your house and make them talk if its so important and you feel you should do it..
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
14 May 07
I think that although your friends husband is completely in the wrong that you have a responsibility to your employer not to divulge anyones private information. If your friend doesn't or won't accept that it is her problem to deal with. I think keeping your job is more important that your friend begging some woman to stay away from her husband. Why she would want to fight for some worthless man is beyond me. She should sever the ties with the cheat and move on, problem solved. I think if the girl is going to sleep with a married man she has no scruples and the wife talking to her will probably make the forbidden fruit look better to her.
@nicolec (2674)
• United States
14 May 07
Absolutely not. Not only could you lose your job over it, you would have no control over what happened if your friend went to the girls house. Put aside the fact for one second that it is against company policy, and say you give it to her. She says she just wants to 'talk' but bad things manifest from jealousy and revenge. Do you want to be feel the guilt if something were to happen? Be a friend by being there for her. Do not give the address.