stay at home dads...what do you think?
By miamilady
@miamilady (4910)
United States
18 responses
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I've been a stay at home dad for over 9 years now and I don't see how anyone could possibly object to it. I get the kids up and ready for school. Make their breakfast, do laundty, clean the house, take the kids to their activities and all the other stuff that the traditional housewife does. My wife has a great job and makes much more than I ever could so it all works out perfect for us.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Hi inked. Thanks for your response. In this discussion I didn't write about what my opinion was. I just wanted feed back without my opinion affecting what others say. Now that the discussion is a bit older I wan't to add a few things.
I agree that it should be up to the members of the household. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad. If the woman wants to go out and earn a living and she earns an amount that allows for that, then great!
I was thinking that I should have worded my discussion differently, or maybe posted a follow up discussion, because I have another related question. I'll just post it here and see if you or anyone sees it and decides to reply to it...
Do you think that stay at home Dads suffer from reverse sexism?
The reason that I ask is because I have a few friends and aquaintances that are stay at home Dad's.
I've heard people make comments about them behind their backs. Questioning their manhood etcetera.
I don't agree with the sentiment, but it made me wonder if stay at home Dads have to deal with those types of comments or of they are things that are mostly said behind their backs.
Have you ever had someone put you don't because you are a stay at home Dad?
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Sorry for the typo. I meant to say "put you down" not "put you don't".
1 person likes this
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
17 May 07
I think it is fine for a guy to be a stay at home dad, especially if he wants to! That is great! I think the 'roles' expected of men and women are old fashioned. Theres no room for it, not now! Times have changed! :)
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
17 May 07
i think so, too. let us not be old-fashioned anymore in our outlook in life. if the dad is more comfortable at home, let him have it. it will be good for the children and the family as a whole.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
17 May 07
I'm all for it if that is what a family decides is best for them. If we had to make that decision, it would not be financially viable if my husband stayed home while I worked only because he has always earned more than I ever made in my entire life LOL but I commend stay at home dads :)
1 person likes this
@MelodyRhapsodical (1248)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I think it's more of a motherly role, but there's nothing wrong with a stay-at-home dad.
I've noticed that most times when a child gets hurt or if they want to be fed a child will go to their mother, yet if the child gets scared of something or thinks they saw a monster they might go to daddy. Mom and dads have roles and somehow kids are in tune to this and go to them depending on how the situation. Since being a stay-at-home parent requires a bit more motherly roles than that of a father, it'd probably be more practical for a mother to stay at home. But surely every family is different and has different situations and any parent can stay at home, there's absolutely nothing wrong with either of them working, or either of them staying at home with the kids.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Whatever works for your family i say...do it. I know some great stay at home dad's . We women fought hard for our equal rights and this is just part of the deal. If the woman makes enough $ and can support her husband to stay home with the kids...or visa versa....its the best! A homemaker is a real job...if you are to be a stay home parent whether you are mom or dad, you need to be doing your job and running the home...meals,cleaning, kids,cooking, kids. It is more than a full time job and the working parent should help out but the stay at home parent should carry the bulk. The working parent should be sensitive to the fact that this is a no breaks ...no pay job. you need to work together!
@gradyslady (4054)
• United States
18 Sep 07
My dad kind of was a stay at home dad, he never really did anything for us. He did clean up the house, do the dishes, laundry, and he'd take us to school, but he never really did anything else. I think it's great though for dads staying home and the moms going out or whatever. If that's what they want that's cool.
@pumpkinjam (8528)
• United Kingdom
20 May 07
If that's what they want then that's fine. It's better for dad to be home than leave the kids with strangers. Although, I know it is old fashioned but, the best person (usually) to look after a child is their mother because, even though people think it is old fashioned, it is natural. It will never stop being mum who is the natural nurturer. In general, women are better at looking after children (but then, women are better at everything! :))
But, again, if dad wants to stay at home or it's better for whatever reason then I think it's great. Well, except if they are the kind of person who will look after the children and not realise what else needs to be done at home or if they just let mum take over as soon as she is home!
I know a few full time dads who are doing a good job with their kids. The only thing is that it appears they are more spoilt than kids who are looked after by their mums!
@34momma (13882)
• United States
16 Jul 07
i don't see why not. my brother was a stay at home Dad for 8 years. and he did an amazing job with my nieces. he makes sure my older nieces get's to school on time. he taught her how to read and write. he helps her with homework and made sure dinner was cooked and the house was clean.
He would work as a plumber on the weekends. I am very proud of my brother and the job he has done with his wonderful three girls.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Like most things these days , it all depends on the couple.If the wife has a better paying job than the husband or they decide when she was pregnant that he will stay home and she will return to work then why not? It was mostly custom that had the wives home with the kids and the husbands went to work.There are many households where the husband is as nurturing and maybe more nurturing than his wife.As long as the couple agrees, it will work. The problem comes up when the husband wants the wife to stay home and she wants to return to work.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I have no problem with dads who stay at home to take care of the kids if their wife chooses to be the breadwinner, miamilady. Men nowadays can handle childcare just as well as women-sometimes better. My only requirement would be that the dad be conscientious and knowledgeable about child rearing.
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
17 May 07
We have come along way as a society, back in the day men only had the option of working and being the sole provider for his family, the women were only allowed to be stay at home moms...times have changed as well as people.
I think if a man wants to be a stay at home dad then thats wonderful..it all depends on you and your partner talking about this issue with one another. Its an empowering feeling for women who can be the breadwinners of their household. Im all for stay at home dads..GO DADS!!
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
17 May 07
I think that the role could be played by either parent. As long as the parent that is staying at home with the kids is capable of doing so. I myself have reasons to feel better about being the stay at home parent then i would if my husband were the stay at home parent.
@aweave06 (31)
• United States
17 May 07
I think it's fantastic to challenge gender roles in today's societies. Fathers make great stay-at-home dads. Although I am making gender stereotypes right now, they are always active, willing to play and would keep kids healthy. Guys are also just as capable of doing housework and cooking.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
17 May 07
for me, it is just fine to have stay at home dads. let's face it. there are some women who are good at earning money. if the wife in the family can scrape money better than the man, it will be a wise move to do. that is, if the man is capable of managing a household. otherwise, the man would better get a paying job which can cover for the expenses of hiring a househelp.
@babygurl850406 (1322)
• United States
17 May 07
I think it depends on the couple's decision, what is better for them in their life.
Perhaps, whose job is better, which job pays more has more convenient hours, etc.
There are so many working moms nowadays, there are a few stay at home dads although it is not that common.
My boyfriend and I have discussed this before, he is in construction and makes on average $18 per hour. I would not be able to make that kind of money now, but I would like to go to college and get a degree. If I were to make more money than him, I would go to work. But so many families have a working mom and dad.
It really all comes down to how the family feels on this decision it is a personal family decision, whatever works out best for your family. :)
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
17 May 07
I don't see a problem with it. If one parent makes more money and can substantiate the income for a stay at home parent why not! I think women can be in the workplace and do the same job as a man, just as well or better than a man, why can't a man do the same? Why the double standard? I think it's fantastic to see a man take care of his kids while the woman is out earning the bacon!
@Candid_Ishida (659)
• United States
17 May 07
I don't think it matters either way. People are so concerned with what role a gender should play, when everyone should just do whatever makes them happy. It's silly for a man to think he has to go to work, especially if the woman has a better job and can make more to support the family.
On the other hand, if a woman wants to be a homemaker and not work, then that is okay too.
