How difficult is it for you to say 'I love you' and why???

United States
May 17, 2007 2:03am CST
It is not difficult for me if it is to the right person, in other words I don't say it unless I mean it and I will explain that: I don't just say 'I love you' because that is the right thing to say, whenever I say it I mean it from the bottom of my heart or I simply avoid saying it, even if someone says it to me. How often do you say the 'I love you's' - is it just a routine phrase at the end of a conversation or do you truly feel every word you say every single time??
3 people like this
25 responses
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
17 May 07
oh I think that words have a strong and precise meaning. therefore I am always very careful when using them. I also wish people could use them only when they truly meant them. So I say I love you only when I am in love with someone and only when I am sure that he is the right person and that I feel something special and strong for him. The problem is that I have already been mistaken twice in my life. I mean, I said I love twice and each time he was the wrong person. So now I am definitely against lovein my life!!!! or I pray not to meet anymore people so awful like the ones I met!!
• United States
17 May 07
Ok Maribea, this is a good angle to took - here is another question for you: Will you say 'I love you' to someone because you love him oe will you wait until you are sure he loves you back? Do you still love him even if he does not love you back?? Here is what I believe - I said I love you and truly meant it to only one man in my life and the fact that he fell out of love with me did not make me hate him...I think the feeling of love cannot be switched on and off at wish - you either love someone or you don't = what do you think?
2 people like this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
17 May 07
my dear friend this is one of my greatest problems and a thing I am working on in order to prevent me from suffering so much. when I start loving someone I can love him so strongly and deeply, that I cannot just stop loving him even though he is bad and changes his beahviour towards me. This is because when I say I love you, I truly mean it and love is not just a wind that changes each day..but I have to learn how to love myself more than my lover so not to let him spoil my love and all the gifts of my heart for him. I hope I am clear enough!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 07
Maribea dearest, that is true love and I know exactly what you mean. I had my heart broken but I could not stop loving that man. I am not with him and I could never take him back but at the same time I don't hate him. Don't change yourself Maribea, one day you will meet the man who will appreciate you and your noble feelings - I am sure of that. Sorry, my dear friend for your sufferings but never give up hope!!! Best wishes, Magdalena
1 person likes this
• Singapore
17 May 07
It is easy to say it to someone that you truly love, i.e. your spouse but it can be awkward for some people even when they say it to their loved ones. For example, I have difficulty saying it to my dad but not to my mom. Maybe it's just how I was raised. Dad's always the macho, cut-me-and-i-will-bleed-but-not-cry type of person.
• United States
17 May 07
LOL - so true!!! I find it awkward to say it to my brither too...mostly because how it makes him feel - hahahahahh! Thanks for participating.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 07
brither=brother - sorry sometimes I type too fast;)
1 person likes this
@healer (1783)
• India
17 May 07
Its very hard for me to say these three words, i really think its a big words. I say these words to my boyfriend but not always as i am not used to saying those words. There are various types of people who say those words easily after every conversation. I believe that action speaks louder than words, might be am not very romantic and i feel sorry for my partner for that but i am glad that he understands that and i am lucky in a way that he is the most romantic person i have ever met.
• United States
17 May 07
Don't feel sorry for your partner because if you show it in actions I think he will feel loved - I am sometimes like you, I like to dosomething romantic then say I love you all the time. Thanks for participating.
• Philippines
17 May 07
yah beacause im afraid that the person im asking might say "NO"..im afraid to get hurt and im afraid what will she be thinking!s not that im not fighting for my love but its just that its not easy!
• United States
17 May 07
Don't you think that by being so afraid of saying I love you, you may in fact never know what the other person feels??? You have to risk sometimes getting hurt because it is worth it- at the same time I understand why you are scared! Thanks for participating.
18 May 07
I never say "I LOVE YOU" with anyone even i really love them. But until i met my hubby then those words said out but whispered. Do you know which signal we implied for "I love you". That is figured with the No. :143 . do you know this?
• United States
19 May 07
Yes, I did know that I love you through letters is 1 4 3 - I used to get and write little notes all the time like that when I was in school and thought we were very smart:).
20 May 07
yes most likely 1 4 3 already in our heart every time we think of each other.sometimes these words can get us closer.thanks for your share.
• United States
17 May 07
I have an extremely hard time saying "I love you" or being affectionate. I grew up with a very abusive mother who would say she loved me but would act contrary. So emotionally I have come to be distrustful of the phrase and have found it to be empty and hard to say. When I try and say it to my boyfriend the words actually seem to get stuck in my throat. I tend to feel bad after I say it as well. When I say "I love you " I almost feel like I've said something horrible and hateful. Like when you say something spiteful to someone you do love and after you say it you have that kinda sad sick feeling. Stangely that feeling is there when I tell someone I love them.
• United States
17 May 07
I am so sorry to hear that - Did you try any sort of therapy?? I have to say that in due course, once you fall in love and may be to your kids you will find it easy to say it as the feeling will come from within. I hope that one day you will experience that. Best wishes, Magdalena
• United States
17 May 07
Thank you. I was sent to counseling by my mother twice, but it was ineffective. The idea of therapy doesn't appeal to me, but therapy doesn't usually appeal to anyone! lol. I just figure it's something I will have to sort out on my own. My current boyfriend is very supportive even though sometimes he says I'm kind of cold. I'm pretty sure his unconditional love with help with time.
• Canada
17 May 07
Words and phrases can be taken in many different ways because they have so many different meanings. The words "I love you" can have a profound effect. I don't have any issues with saying "I love you" to the right person at the right time. I say those words to my children, and to my partner, and I feel them and mean them from the bottom of my heart. I get a wonderful warm feeling when my children turn around and say "I Love you too mommy." My partner and I share those words every morning before he goes to work, and every night right before bed. I couldn't say them just because it's the right thing to say. I say it because I mean it with every inch of my heart and soul.
• United States
19 May 07
The way you describe that you say 'I love you' has warmed my heart too - thank you for participating in this discussion.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
17 May 07
Saying it isnt hard for me at all but for me personally the words dont cut it cause ANYONE can mutter "I Love You" to anyone whether they mean it or not...they are just words.....SHOWING someone I love them is far more important to me and being SHOWN as well...same with saying "I'm Sorry"...dont say it, show it..I tell my kids that all the time
• United States
17 May 07
You are very right my friend - saying it and not showing it doesn't mean anything at all. I say it only when I mean it and otherwise I always dolittle things that I don't shows my feelings for the person I love. Thank you for sharing.
@bukiebluz (153)
• Nigeria
17 May 07
i say the word almost everytime mostly to my boyfriend.if any other person says it to me,i do respond with thank you.even if i respond back with i luv u 2,there is no strings attached just a friendly greeting,thats all.
• United States
17 May 07
Thank sounds fair enough but, do you mean the 'I love yous' everytime you say it??
@shinjiao (1464)
• China
17 May 07
Hi,MagdalenaM! I have never said "I love you" to my ex-boyfriends and my current boyfriend. :( Well,it's hard for me to say this sentence to them.I would rather to say something similarly to "I love you",but I have never said this word to them.I know maybe I'm a little bit strange,but,mmmmmmmmm,hard for me to say it out.
• United States
17 May 07
You know something, give yourself time because when you truly feel it you will no longer be able to keep it down and the words will simply come to your lips - you will see. Thanks for sharing!
@sonone (269)
• India
17 May 07
r u askin' about to propose a person? or just say "i luv u" at the end when someone leaves. If to propose a person. It's hard 4 me to, b'cuz it's hard to find out whether she/he's loving you? and break a good friendship! I've already lost a friend by saying that n don't wish to repeat the mistake! If in conversation' i love to say it with g*rls.
• United States
17 May 07
No - I did not mean propose - I just meant saying 'I love you' to someone and how difficult it is for you to do so...
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
17 May 07
I am the type of person who freely shares my emotions...I am sure that you know that much about me by now....BUT they have to be MY emotions before I will say it.... I truly mean what I say....I am one of those rational people who thinks about what they are saying before they say it....wording is important to me....I go out of my way to show appreciation when I feel that......at the same time.....I am very capable of expressing disapproval or anger without intentionally causing pain to the recipient of these feelings.. If I tell you that "I love you".....it is a fact! OR you will never hear it from me either....
• United States
17 May 07
That's what I mean and that's what I ask from someone to say what they feel ONLY if they feel it - Thanks Tina and yes, I do know you speak your mind - that is what I like about you :).
@nishchith (136)
19 May 07
its not at all difficult if u love from BENEATH OF UR HEART
• Nepal
18 May 07
I think its very difficult to say coz its related to heart in my view.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
17 May 07
Im like you I dont say it unless I really mean it. I think alot of people just say it out of habit. Yes I think its become some what of a habit to some people.
@xiqechill (238)
• Indonesia
17 May 07
yeha it's difficult for me, maybe i'm not raised in an environment where people can say 'i love you' easily. :D and maybe that's because i haven't found the one i really love, that i should let his/her know that i love her. and maybe when i say 'i love you', it's like taking all of my pride down :D
@lisado (1230)
• United States
17 May 07
I tell my husband and sons "I love you" all of the time, but to anyone else it's very hard. My family wasn't very denenstrative when I was growing up. We didn't hug and kiss a lot, either, so I tend to get nervous when people invade my "personal space". A couple of my friends are very "touchy" people and I've steeled myself to handle their hugs when they give them, but they understand why I always pull back. It's habit for me and it's a hard one to break. Even telling my brother and sister "I love you" is hard because we never really did it growing up. It was assumed and known that we loved each other, but almost never spoken. I don't want my boys to grow up that way. I tell them several times a day that I love them. :)
• India
17 May 07
well if its just for fun on not from your heart then its really easy but if you really mean it then i think its kinda hard ;)
@lirael (502)
• Philippines
17 May 07
I only say i love you to the persons who means a lot to me. I don't just give it away like its just an ordinary greeting, I only say it to the ones who means a lot to me. I feel that if I often say it, it'll just lose its value.
@schummi (925)
• India
17 May 07
yeah its a bit difficult to say it when you will be fearing that the other person will say YES or NO.this is kinda of embarrasing but i thin k everyone goes through this phase if he/she is really the person tp whom they are saying. it really matters if this is genuine or not.