She wants to steal my check!?

United States
May 17, 2007 10:56am CST
My mother has always been a woman who states she can survive anywhere no matter what. She and I got into an arguement that led to her saying she wants to leave my fiance and I to go on her own, but she wants to take my child support check! According to what I've heard, I'll still get child support until 21 as long as I study, regardless if I get married. Assuming this is true, do you think she has the right to say she can survive on her own if she takes my check? If I didn't exist, it wouldn't exist! I think she doesn't have the right, and she should not make false claims.
2 people like this
3 responses
@Kali2218 (61)
• United States
17 May 07
The child support is for you, not for your mother. That's the way it has been throughout your life. The only reason she was getting the check is because she was caring for you. If she is no longer caring for you, then you get the check. It goes to your tuition and your ability to take care of your needs. You do still get the check if you are in college of some sort. You should really speak to your father, or if that's not an option, then the child support people. Let them know what's going on with you and your mom and see if you can get it sent straight to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 07
Even if she took it, I wouldn't report her. She'd probably go to jail. Plus, its not about the money - its about how she says she can do so many grand things and when the situation comes up, she isn't always able to. (Then, when I say I can do something, I have to prove I can before she believes me. Its a battle of words in this place on bad days.) PS - We're still living in the same apartment, and she's not leaving. She just says she'll leave when she gets angry. (I just wanted to know what the world thought about this.)
• United States
17 May 07
Parents can be confusing and contradictory a lot. I think as a parent she feels like she has to make you believe she's capable of doing these great things, because the best way a parent can teach a child is by example. So if she says she can do something, then perhaps you will think you can do it too. But when you say that you can do something she wants you to actually do it, so in her mind she is saying "If I say I don't think she can do it, then she's going to feel like she has to prove me wrong by doing it". This is one possibility. I don't know your mom so I can't say this is what she is thinking, but it might be. Parents are wrong sometimes. I know it's a shocker, but it's true. Even when they think they're right, sometimes they're wrong. Just try to remember that your mom is a person just like you. She tries her best, but sometimes it's not enough. I'm sure she loves you and only wants what is best for you. I am sorry that you argue a lot. It will get better when you do eventually get your own place, but I hope it gets better before then.
• United States
21 May 07
She told me that she doesn't mean to sound like she's discouraging me. She's trying to warn me about how tough the world is. I wish she wouldn't say things the way she does, though. (We usually don't argue unless there are money or cleaning problems.)
@bindishah (2063)
• India
17 May 07
This is quite a complicated situation. She gets the child support check to support you but if you are an adult now you should be able to take care of yourself. Either ways i feel if you dont need your mom to support you, you guys should not be taking the check.
• United States
17 May 07
Even though its for my education?
@callarse1 (4794)
• United States
21 May 07
I thought you don't get support past 18, unless your dad has back child support? Of course you should get it if you are over 18 because it's supposed to be used to support you, not your mom. You can report her to Child services for child support fraud, or tell her that she isn't taking the child support. Have the mail delivered to a PO box and then she can not have access to the mail. A PO box is not that much, so you may want to do that that. Pablo