what are your views on step-mums

@tonixxx (358)
May 18, 2007 4:12pm CST
I have a step-mum and i admit that it took some getting used too, but she is one of the single best things ever to have happened upon me. I know that i am honoured because she chose to take us in as her own and care for us in the same manne, whereas some biological mums are "burdened" by us (not aal granted. So it really winds me up when "the step-mum" is portrayed as pure evil in films and books, disney set the tone for children feeling threatened by steps and it still goes on now? what are your opinions.
2 responses
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
18 May 07
I'm glad to read this. I'm a regular mom and a step-mom and being a step-mom is harder. My hubby is a step-dad and is a better dad than the bio-dad could be. One step-daughter has lost touch on purpose but my other step-daughter has come to think I'm great now and turns to me on a lot of issues. I don't worry about the Grimm's Fairy Tales stereotypes because they just don't apply. You're saying that you step-mom isn't like that at all and I think most step-parents aren't, because it's being a parent by choice.
@tonixxx (358)
18 May 07
Thank you for commenting, i just wish that all of these wonderful people such as my mum and yourself got the appreciation they deserve instead of the stigma that the term "Step" seems to have aqcuired.
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
18 May 07
Aw...that's terrific and thanks. The best thing for you is that you know what makes a parent good so you are or will be a good parent yourself. Congratulations on that!
@tonixxx (358)
18 May 07
Thank you ever so much, this is one of the things that i get a little anxious about, i would love to be a mom but would hate to be a mom like my bio or "transport" as i call her. I have nothing against mums in general just her. Well i don't actually have anything against her, i don't know her and i wouldn't want to now, i have the best mum i could wish for and as we said she chose me!
• United States
18 May 07
I don't have any children of my own. I have 4 step daughters and 5 step grandkids. When my hubby and me got married 12 years ago.We don't live in the same state as his daughters do. They don't consider me as a step mom, just their father's wife. Except the next to the youngest I am close to. We can talk to each other about anything. I was sort of a mom to her when her own mother wasn't.Now they are talking with each other so I guess I am out in left field with her or put on the back burner sort of..She needs her mother and I am just a friend now..Since we don't live in the same state and her mother does, she needs her mother's help where I can't give her the help she needs right now. I told her I am only a phone call away... If she needs to talk with me..
@tonixxx (358)
18 May 07
Don't let the fact that the daughter you are close to is talking to her biological mum again make you feel pushed out. You are her fathers wife and should have their respect for making him happy. Above all of that she will remember that it has been you there in the past to wipe her tears and encourage her, a mother is someone that you can count on, that cares and that you can respect, not someone who carries you and thinks that you owe them for doing it.
• United States
22 May 07
You are right.. I was the one their for her in alot of ways even though it was on the phone.. And when her and her boyfriend moved here 9 years ago but only stayed about 9 months and moved back to her hometown. I was there for her and her baby. (alot of things went on so she had to move back home. We didnt know about all of it until years later) She told me tonight that she loved me. Her mother is moving in with her.. It not going to last for very long. But thats between her and her mother. Two women can't live in the same household. So I don't know how long it will last.