Do you think being Single or having a Partner/Family is better?

@easy888 (10405)
Australia
May 19, 2007 2:18am CST
'At this moment,i do not have a partner,I am waiting for the right one to appear through.I enjoy being single as i can have total freedom and do not need to respond to anyone, I am thinking whether I will be single forever if no one takes me,I hope i can find a good partner and have a good family life in the future' How about you?Are you single,have a partner or even a family? How has your life changed from different stage? Are you happier at any stages?Do you enjoy being single or having a partner? Any changes after you have been married if you do? Have you faced any problems when you have partners or marriage and how do you tackle them? Or do you have something which cannot be resolved in the relationship or marriage? I would like to know how one's life change from one stage to another. Do share your thoughts:+),
26 people like this
104 responses
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
19 May 07
Hi easy888. Firstly, I find it hard to believe you are single, because from all your posts, I feel you are a very nice lady. However, I don't think it matters whether you are single at this stage, if you are happy with it. Don't rush things, good things happen to those who wait. I was single for quite some time, but that never worried me. When I did find the right girl, I do admit it took a little bit of getting used to, knowing it wasn't only me any more, that if I did things at home, it would now affect another person, not just me. Once I got used to it though, I've never been happier. I can talk more to my wife than I ever could to my mates, and together we have worked through a lot of tough times, and came through even stronger. I would never give it up, and in fact would now be lost if I didn't have my wife and son with me!
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
Thank you,muscare,i had rejected some guys before as i did not really want to rush,i did not like them at all and did not want to go to some relationships that would made me disappointed again as i did not have good experience with my ex boy friend. True,i have my friends to share everything with me now,but they may not be able to do this when they get married,the only person to share everything in your life will be your partner or wife.
1 person likes this
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
19 May 07
It's nice to know you are not one that goes racing back into a new relationship, when another is over. You are more likely to find that special person by going at the pace you want to. Enjoy your freedom, and each day as it comes!
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
I am not really interested into relationship,I mean i will not date a guy just i want to date them,i will only do this if i really have good feeling on him.
1 person likes this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
19 May 07
there is no such thing as to which is better or not.it depends on the choice of an individual whether he would live his life in celibacy or not.there are a lot of people who feels pressured by what society dictates of them.we should not be affected by what others would like us to do with our lives.theirs are only suggestions and it is up to us to decide which way we are to go.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
You are right,one can also live alone happily,but i always wonder what if all my best friends get married,will i be left alone,they may be very busy to take care of their families at that time. I do not feel any pressure from the society through.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 May 07
being alone does not mean that you will be lonely.learn to live with yourself,learn to be your own best friend .friends won't always be there.if you feel that you need someone to be with you in your golden years then it is time for you to find that special someone by being the right person,do not look for the right person, be the right person and you wil see that person will be attracted to you like magnet.if you had him stuck to you like glue,do not force it just let it be.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
You are right,tigerdragon,i am like let it be now,I think the right person will appear in a suitable timing. How about you?I bet you are married?Aren;t you?
1 person likes this
@wolves69 (756)
• United States
19 May 07
Being married isn't for everyone, neither is being single. I got married later in life at 26 and didn't really date much before that. I was happy for the most part and had some pretty lofty goals that were important to me at my younger stage in life. I'm glad I waited to get married. I was more mature and am a lot more happy with my life and can concentrate on the family a whole lot more...however the job keeps getting in the way with lots of travel...however, I'll retire at 41 in four years...So, I can't complain. My wife is younger then me, so we when we got married we were on a level maturity stage. The relationship was a nice fit all the way around. Would I say this stage of my life is happier? Thats a relative question but I will add it is much more fulfilling. I guess it boils down what you want in life.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
Thank you for you reply,wolves69,I think you must have a very good job which you can earn enough and retire in four years. I am 24 years old this year and I think i will not get married until 30 years old.:P
1 person likes this
@wolves69 (756)
• United States
19 May 07
Its a calling more then a job, the pay isn't bad (many jobs pay more), but the risks are high and benefits are good. I'm fortunate enough to have a supportive family, that means more then money. Getting married at 30 wouldn't be a bad age. Actually, as long as your partner is compatible, age doesn't really matter. You just have to look at what your wants and desires are and see if they match or are flexible enough with your partner's.
2 people like this
@wolves69 (756)
• United States
19 May 07
Fortunately, my wife is very tolerant! She calls me the fifth kid in the house...and the least favorite...lol
2 people like this
19 May 07
I have seperated from my partner. So I am now single and have a family! The best of both worlds! Ideally I would love to be in a happy loving relationship, however as I do not want any more children I am in no hurry to find that special someone.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
You have three children,right,and i can understand your situation,you must have working hard to take care of them,i have read your discussions about you could not find your daughter when you went out shopping. Anyway,take care of yourself and your children.
2 people like this
19 May 07
You have got me mixed up with another lady who lost her child! Mine is the one who went missing from the front garden and took herself off to the shops! But yes they take up alot of my time and I have to take them in to account with any relationship i ever choose to embark upon.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
Oh yeah,that is what i mean,i just cannot recall the details and i am sure i have dropped you a reply to that discussion. Children always like to run around,it is better to keep an eye on them anytime.
2 people like this
• Japan
19 May 07
we are on the same boat...i guess waiting for the right person would not answer which life is better...the people we meet everyday leads us to where we will be happy...it is just a matter of taking the chance to know more the people we meet and by that, happiness comes in...
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
May be,if you want to get more chances to find the right one,you may need to enlarge your social circle,but sometimes the right one may be just beside you but you do not even notice that.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
25 Jan 11
@easy888:I agree. most often than not, "the one" appears to be just beside us but we sometimes overlooked the value of this person and keeps looking at the other side of the fence. But this thought sometimes is unsettling especially if the person we believe "the one" is not interested and might dread our presence.
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
19 May 07
Married life is one of the important stages in everyones life. whithout which the living will not be complete on the earth. It is a devine life, I married 12 years ago and I am blessed with a son and a daughter. Even now my wife looks brand new to me. This life has made me a man and helped me to understand the world.
2 people like this
• India
19 May 07
I forget to wish you a blessed and blissful married life.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
True,that is why we have to consider and plan before we get married,so how long have you been dating with your wife before you get married? It is a good thing when you wake up everyday,you find your wife brand new and you love her more and more.:)
1 person likes this
@anuprai (53)
• India
20 May 07
hai Anna, I'll like to enjoy my life as a single person and can have total freedom.At one stage if u think of being with family than it will awasome me lot of people having lot's of problem.citi life is full of fastness and having lots of problem in metro city and family bring more problem to it socially and economiclly.One man can handle or care for himself or herself bt wht lots of troble to already existing he can never dare to invite more trobles.,got it
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
Thank you for your reply:)
• United States
20 May 07
part of my family - my husband and two oldest stepsons on the day of their cousin's wedding
I wouldn't trade my family for anything in this world. Single life wasn't all that fun, ya know?
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
Personally,i agree with this.
@Reyaas (4)
• Oman
20 May 07
Life before the marriage was good, after the marriage is very very good, that's depends on your partner and the children you are going to have in your life. Give up is main course of the life after the marriage.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
Most of the time it is right.
• Philippines
20 May 07
I am married for 3 years. I have 2 kids, a 2 year old and a 5 month old. Both boys. Sometimes, I miss being single. Being single means fun, fun, fun. Now I have other people to think about... my family. I prioritize their needs than mine and everyuthing I do is primarily for them. Its hard sometimes but one thing's for sure, my life is much happier, more fulfilled and more inspired.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
:)I also want to have kids and happy family life.
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
20 May 07
For the longest time I was against commitment. I didn't think I had it in me to commit myself to one person. I would date guys but never for long. Then I had my daughter. She was the first real commitment that I made in my life. I still had a hard time commiting to a man. Then six years ago I met a guy in a chatroom. We had a lot in common and I looked forward to us talking daily. I finally agreed to mmet him in person three months after we first talked. Everything went wonderful. I agreed to meet with him again the following week. I explained to him at this time that I had a hard time commiting to anyone but my daughter. He said we would see how it goes. We continues to date for about six months before I felt like I needed out of the relationship. He asked me what was wrong I explained that I needed a break. He said fine and I thought that was it. One week later he showed up at my house. I asked him what he was doing there. He informed me that he gave me a one week break and that he hoped I enjoyed it because it would be my last. We have now been together a little over six years. We plan to marry by the end of this year. I didn't think that I would ever be the type to make such a large commitment. It was easy for me to commit to raising my children but it was hard for me to commit to loving a man.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
I hope you will have a good family life after you get married.
1 person likes this
@leeesa (885)
• United States
20 May 07
I was married at 19 and have always feared being alone. I ended up in bad relationships as a result. At age 40, I became single again and have remained single since. (almost 3 years now!) It was very difficult, but I now have more self esteem knowing that I don't need someone else in my life to take care of me. I am enjoying it so much that I'm not sure I even want to be in a relationship again. But if I do someday, I know with complete confidence that I will be in it because I WANT to, not because I NEED to.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
It is fine if you get the feeling that you do not need someone to take care of you. Just do it when you reallu want to then.
1 person likes this
@maehan (1445)
• United States
20 May 07
Pros and Cons for both Single and Married. Single ~ freedom, you can do whatever you want as long as you inform your parent. Married ~ you have lesser freedom, you need to take care of the family,. . emh I mean 3 families, your parent family, your spouse family, your own family. When I first married, I had to change my lifestyle a little to accomodate one another. Instead of everything is being done by my parent, I had to do it myself.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
True,after getting married,you have to be independent and take the responsibility of the whole family,if you have children,you even have more to do to take care of them.
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
20 May 07
Give me that family life anyday! I love having children and being involved in their lives and activities. I love having a husband with whom I share everything. Sure there are stressful times, but I wouldn't take anything for my life with my family!
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
There may be hard times throughout the marriage but I think one may feel happy generally if they have not found the wrong people to get married with. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@inked4life (4227)
• United States
20 May 07
The single life was fun because you could come and go as you pleased and do whatever you felt like at any given time but, for me anyways, nothing comapres to family life especially the unconditional love you get from your kids and having that special someone to share your life with (good and bad)
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
20 May 07
Exactly,the only people who can share with your life may be your spouses/partners. Your best friends may not be do it once they get married and have their families,they have put families in the first place.
1 person likes this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
19 May 07
I prefer to have a relationship with someone I care about. I have done the marriage thing but it didn't work out. We wasn't right for each other. I got two great sons from that relationship. I have done the dating scene but didn't care too much for that. I like to be in a nice solid relationship that I know will last a lifetime. I currently have that. I have found the lady in my life that helps to make me happy. We are both prepared to spend the rest of our lives together. While I know nothing is set in stone we will both work hard to make tis last. She has three beautiful children. Two boys and a girl that I will try to be a wonderful father to.
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
Good to hear that you have a nice solid relationship now.Life will be meaningful when you have the same goals with her and you will work hard for your chidren.
1 person likes this
• Italy
19 May 07
If you have a partner you want be single. if you are single you want a partner.
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
19 May 07
At times the first sentence you wrote is true LOL
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7592)
• United States
19 May 07
Life totally changes when you settle down and start a family- I changed my life a bit different- I had a baby and then settled down with my soul mate. Being single was fun- careless- just like you said- no one to answer to- Do things on a whim.. didn't need to think about others plans before making your own. But I wouldn't trade my family for anything- I love coming home everyday from work- My family is here. I love doing things together- and planning together- sure we still do our separate things "girls night out" or "guys night out" but nothing compares to a nice relaxing night watching movies together at home.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
True,I can imagine how the life of a married person have changed,before marriage,he/she might have go out with their friends,went to dinner or had a couples of drinks in the pubs,they could do it everyday as they did not need to care about anyone.But after they married,they need to take care of their spouses or children,they could not go out with their friends so often and family would become the most important thing in their lives. A simple night watching movies at home can be relaxing.:)
• Philippines
19 May 07
life is not really a matter of whether getting married or not. the attitude that you have as to how to proceed with life is perfect as it is. if an excellent partner shall show up, then marriage is worth considering. if not, then staying single is the best option. i should have taken this insight seriously when i was still single. this should have spared me so much disappointments, pain and anguish in life. the good thing about my life now is, my three children all grew up with me and they have become desirable individuals in this society. although my youngest child has not yet fully recovered from his illness, he is doing fine and i love him so much. he is worth all the effort. sacrifices will always be entailed in immeasurable levels, once the children come and one parent is all that's left to tackle and deal with all the troubles to come along with it.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
True, that is why i do not rush into a relationship,if there is a right one for me,it will appear at the right time,if not,even how hard I pursue a partner,the relationship will not last long. From your avatar,I am sure you have a happy family life as everyone have a big smile on their faces. Hope your son will be fine soon,no worry, take care of yourself and your family.
1 person likes this
@miryam (6510)
• Italy
19 May 07
i was marriage for 10 years after i'm devorced, now i live alone, i've a boyfiend, but he live in onether city we see in a weekend.....are a best. a good rapport, i'm happy, in my home i've only ny dog whith me, is like a son........
2 people like this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
You live far away from his city so that you will be able to see him once a week? Or will you consider to move to his city?
1 person likes this