Does it infuriate you when people make wrong assumptions about you?

@pyewacket (44036)
United States
May 19, 2007 2:52am CST
This is an incident that occurred a few weeks ago and I'm still fuming about it. There's this neighbor of mine that lives next door to me. We're not "buddies" or anything but if we do bump into each other we'll chit chat. Well one day I ran into her and we starting yakking about this and that and somehow in the conversation she said that I seem to be doing very well for myself even though my mother had passed away...now she had known I was getting SSI Disability...well that was until recently--if you've been following my story about this you know what I'm talking about--my benefits were completely cut off this month--well I didn't let on about this fiasco I'm going through..with the exception of close friends I've kept my mouth shut about it cause to be honest..my entire apartment building is surrounded by gossipy nosy bodies. So like I said she's saying how well I'm doing for myself and gee, your mother left you a lot of money when she died...didn't she leave you about $100,000.00--My mouth gaped opened--$100,000.00?? Don't I WISH. I didn't let her know the exact amount left me but it was far from that...only enough to take care of my mom's funeral costs, other bills related to her, and with the rest invested in finally getting my computer system...hardly anywhere near what this neighbor assumed I had gotten...I wanted to tell her what I did get but thought no...she'd tell this other nosy neighbor, and that nosy neighbor would blab to someone else.. Like I said common sense told me to keep my mouth shut about all the current problems I'm really going through with money because of this SSI benefits cut off I'm going through But what kind of idiot is this woman?? If I had inherited so much money would I one, still have my fifteen year old stereo system? Would I still have my dinky 13" color tv? Would I still have my od bed since I could use a new one...Would I still be living here?? So I'm just so infuriated by this jerk making such an assumption that I'm well off...why cause I'm not begging in the streets or borrowing money?? Yikes! So does it infuriate you when someone makes some stupid and false assumption about you? What do you do about it?? Do you correct their assumption or do you just keep your mouth shut about it?
21 people like this
32 responses
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
19 May 07
Unfortunately, yes, I have run into my share of these people and it is infuriating. Their misconceptions usually have a whole lot more to say about them then me. I think you did the right thing by not saying anything to her and giving her more fuel to the fire. I think the people who need to be enlightened are people you are closer to. I had a friend say something to me last week that was totally offbase and very hurtful and eventhough she apologized immediately, the damage is done. I was really surprised at what she thought and I camre right out and told her she really doesn't know me evry well at all.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Are you still friends or since you said the damage was done are now distant with her?
2 people like this
• Ireland
20 May 07
I don't know if she realises how upset I was because it has been bothering me ever since. I haven't spoken to her since, although I will probably see her tomorrow. I think it is going to be something that will be hard to forgive.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
19 May 07
I can understand you being infuriated. I don't know what you can do other than give this person all the details. But I don't think it is really any one's business. I don't think you have to explain yourself to her. Even if you gave her all the details, by the time she was through telling this one or that one, the story would get all turned around anyway. By the time it got back to you, you would be a multi-millionaire with people lined up at your door begging for a hand out. lol. As hard as it might seem, I would put this incident out of my mind and move on as best you can. Why waste brain power on explaining yourself? You can never explain everything to the point where another person will fully understand you. They will still make judgments no matter how well you explain things. Except for maybe your best friend. Don't feel so bad, my stereo reciever that I still use is 20 years old. lol.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Oh that's funny...why sure of course I inherited millions...LOL..and no I didn't feel the need to explain myself about anything which is why I kept my mouth shut--why waste my breath? And oh,my you have a 20 year old stereo--almost as bad as me--LOL
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
19 May 07
I actually smile sweetly and say well dear I do not know where your Information has come from but please before you assume anything do get your facts right I had this in the old Place I am entitled to a car through my Disability and People thought I had come into money as I was not working but then this car turns up so all sorts was going round But the best one was when one of my Neighbours said to me So when are we going to meet this rich lucky Man of yours, well my Mouth dropped I kindly said you won't as here is something else you do not know I am moving away as this Area is not good enough for him, well you should have seen this Neighbours Face I then turned around and said "Do not assume what goes on in my Life, if I wanted People to know I would tell them." I left him with that
3 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Oh that's funny..maybe you should have said that you were secretly seeing Donald Trump on the side-and that was who your rich man friend was...hehehe
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6118)
19 May 07
Hi pyewacket! Well, it doesn't infuriate me - if anything it tends to amuse me, and I have been known to string them along just for fun:-)) I certainly wouldn't try to put them right, because if they are nosy, gossip-mongers, the chances are they would stretch the tale anyway, and if people are that nosy I don't want them knowing anything near the truth about me!
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
I'm pretty good about keeping my mouth shut about things to instead of spilling everything out to such people---but I do tell things to my close friends whom I can trust...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 07
Yes, it infuriates me to now end. How dare her even assume that you had money and to mention it to you, well I can understand why you keep your mouth shut. Most time when people assume it means that make an A$$ out of you and me, at least that is how the saying goes. I try not to assume about others, so when someone does about me, I just keep my mouth shut and move on.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
20 May 07
Well the woman has no class or tack to begin with..so what can you expect??
2 people like this
• Canada
19 May 07
Hi pyewacket. I know exactly how you feel about people who make assumptions. My parents had their first and only grandchild by me last year and with it being their first of course they are going to be excited. They bought my hubby and I a car seat and stroller combo because they knew our finances were tight. Also when they came to meet her they bought my daughter some outfits. My friend borrowed those outfits and others my husband had bought. I told her before I leant her the clothes that I wanted them back to sell at a yard sale. I told her that anything of my daughters that sold weither it be books, clothes, toys, etc the money went into her bank account because they were hers. Anyways these clothes are in such horrible shape now I couldn't get a dime out of them because they are all worn out from being washed so much because she doesn't have many outfits for her child other then the ones I leant her. Her response to me being a little upset about it was your parents bought them and the car seat and stroller combo my husband and I have to do things on our own we don't have help from our parents. Basically assuming that my parents buy everything for her (yeah right) and that because a few of the outfits I gave her were given to me I shouldn't be upset.I could care less if they were given to her, I bought them, my parents bought them, or we got them from the salvation army store either way they were hers and I told this lady that we wanted to sell them and give the money to my daughter as they were hers. Needless to say I was a little upset but she couldn't understand why. She feels that because my parents bought my daughter a few things that everything was bought for her.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
So I guess this woman assumes your parents bought, now let me see a gold and diamond crib, a platinum baby spoon, dresses at Lord and Taylor's for your daughter right?--LOL
2 people like this
• Canada
20 May 07
Hehehehe thats too funny but honestly it wouldn't surprise me. LoL. Why and how she thinks my parents bought everything I have no clue, that's an assumption for you!
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
19 May 07
And I dont blame you for being mad at this miss noseybody.LOL I would have done the same thing not say anything. I mean dont these people think? Sometimes I like to have alittle fun with these kind of people I will tell them something really bizare and see if it gets back to me or anyone else.LOL I like to amuse myself.LOL
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
No these kind of people don't think...Maybe I should have said that oh, yes, why of course I actually inherited 2.5 million--hehehe
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 07
Thinking is not a prerequiste of the human race, as a matter of fact it has become so optional that it is becoming a lost art.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 07
makes me wonder if she called SSI asking something like that :( i absolutely hate that. i had somebody within the last 2 years accusing me of everything under the sun-and not even telling me what i supposedly did most the time. i got tired of wasting my breath..some people believe what they want,regardless.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
I think it's more that she's been talking and chummy with this other neighbor, Pat--years and years ago, my mom borrowed a significant amount of money from Pat...she did pay her back in full...the my mom created another financial disaster and borrowed a large chunk of money again...but this time didn't pay back..For some reason Pat was under the assumption that my mother in reality had loads of accounts all over the place...stupid woman..if that were the case why was my mom borrowing money--so this Pat has held a grudge even now about my mom even though she's deceased--but she still assumes that oh sure, there zillions of accounts in my mom's name that I inherited it---so that is why this other nosy neighbor, Debbie, assumes the same thing--Believe me if I had all this money, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now..Like you said..."some people believe what they want.."
2 people like this
• United States
20 May 07
urgh.that's awful. i already beat my mom to the chase on that one- i told everyone not to loan her money,because i won't be paying it back if they do (and i would have to). i know how that feels,definetly.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
20 May 07
i don't. i personally don't care what people think about me. they can assume if they like that is fine with me. i learned that what other people think of me is non of my business and i stand and live by that very statement
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
20 May 07
good for you!! ;-)
@irishmist (3820)
• United States
20 May 07
Ya gotta love nosy neighbors. Imagine putting you on the spot like that. I tend to keep my business to myself, but I will only tell someone just enough to quiet their inquiring mind. In hopes I will not be the topic of gossip any further. And yes I do hate it when people assume things about me.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
20 May 07
Well here in my building everyone is a bit nosy..not just my neighbor..the worse is my super and oh how he'll fill in about everyones lives to anyone who will listen
1 person likes this
19 May 07
I don't blame you for feeling angry hun, this kind of thing really bugs me too. People like that have no right to make assumptions, particularly as they seem to have spread it further too. I really hope you will be able to rise above it all hun, you are the better person.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
I know I'm a better person!! :)
1 person likes this
@taymouse (585)
• United States
19 May 07
I hate when people make assumptions about me as well - especially if they're really stupid or embarrassing and untrue. People just need to learn to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business. I know someone who always twists everything around, and if they hear bits of words from different people they'll piece them all together to make up something completely irrevelant. If they hear one person say "Bob" and a second person say "cheating" and a third say "wife", this person I know will put it all together and start telling people that Bob is cheating on his wife. It's ridiculous. Anyway, I'm really sorry about what you're going through. I hope it's all straightened out!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Well this woman is kind of wrapped up in her own little world to begin with...and likes to come across as a know it all...real smug..always right never wrong--you know the type perhaps
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
19 May 07
It depends on what it is and who it involves whether I will correct a false assumption. In your case I believe you did the right thing. I've learned to ask busybodies why are they asking when they get nosey. It usually stops them right away. Sometimes the more you defend yourself to someone who has false assumptions the more they believe what they do anyway and nothing changes. You end up fighting with an idiot and for what? Someone once believed and told others I had stolen a house. No way was the $1200 monthly mortgage going to be any proof of that but this person was so sure I had stolen it anyway and expected I was going to support this loser because I had. False assumptions others make can not always be changed. Sometimes the best you can do is ignore them. Sometimes when they keep impacting your life with the crap and all you want to do is fight you are just better off moving on since it's obvious they won't stop. It seems people like that live only to create false assumptions and make others worse because they are miserable so they think everyone should be. Hold your head up and keep your life private. That is the best defense you can have against idiots like your neighbor. The less involved you are the better off you are. They less they know the better for you. Nosey neighbors can and usually are the worst you'll ever run across in life!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Well thank goodness I don't have much to do with this person...she rubbed me the wrong way since day one to be honest
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 May 07
People make a lot of stupid assumptions about me, every day, for a variety of reasons. It does infuriate me. Even if I speculate about the life of someone I don't know very well, I don't talk to other people about it, and I certainly wouldn't say something like what your neighbor said! I think people really need to learn to keep their mouths shut a bit more, personally. I sometimes do correct people, and I sometimes don't. It depends on how much I have to get along with that person. In a lot of cases, if there's no reason I really have to be nice to someone, I'll just tell them they're being stupid and not bother to explain.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Well in my case that is why I didn't give any explanation or correct this person..just wasn't worth it
2 people like this
• United States
19 May 07
Although it does strike a wrong nerve in me, like you, I keep my mouth shut. People are all to willing to spread juicy little tidbits around about other people. Why they do this is beyond me, but they do it none the less. That is why very personal problems I keep between me, family, and close friends. I'm just wondering how it was that she came to the conclusion that you inherited that much. Although I have heard of some people even after inheriting or winning large sums of money they will stay in nearly the same type of living conditions, just so not to let on that they have this great fortune now. Really I'll never understand this assumption game some like to play, but don't let it get ya to riled, at least it's better than having something truly horrible going around about you. :) My thoughts are with you friend.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Well lets face it people like to spread gossip because their own lives are pathetically boring and dull--as for how she got that idea, I explain further up in my response to Scarlet Woman--it was from another nosy neighbor who also like to come to erroneous conclusions about people--and thank you for your thoughts about me ;-)
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
19 May 07
Lol keep them guessing. A few years ago, I received an email about praying for our soldiers in Iraq, I normally don't forward things but I felt I wanted to with this one. One of the ppl I forwarded it to was a Pastor and his wife that I knew would be interested in it and since the wife was a friend of mine I figured it would be ok. Well, a day or two later I get an email from her saying how surprised she was to get this type of email from me and she was stunned that I had any interest in the soldiers or in God!!! It made me feel like I was a complete heathen in her eyes and really surprised me. I have a strong religious belief in me but I don't flaunt it or make a big ordeal out of it. Some ppl don't think before they speak. LIVE IN PEACE
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
How totally insulting...just because your not preaching on the streets quoting scripture doesn't make you non-religious
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
19 May 07
People are always assuming that my roommate & I are "partners" in the lesbian sense. We continually try & correct them, but it doesn't seem to get thru. I would've probably told her that I got considerably less then amount she named & nearly all of it went to bury my mother. This maybe where some of your other problems are coming from. On Monday get on the horn to SSI & tell them what you heard & assure them that you didn't get that money & are hiding it from them.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
I know they probably think I have millions stashed under my mattress...LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 07
People like that don't infuriate me, but they do irritate me sometimes. Sometimes, they even amuse me. It depends on the situation and what kind of assumptions they're making about me. That kind of behavior seems to be built into the human race, and there's probably nothing we can do about it. But it's really only a problem if the person is spreading lies or misinformation that could be damaging. Most of the time, as long as you don't feed their curiosity, they have nothing to go on but their own imagination, and they'll gradually lose interest.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Well so far she hasn't spread vicious lies about me...but if I ever find out she did then she have a nice confrontation on her hands
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 07
I often wonder where people get the ideas they do about me, because I certainly don't go around saying all of what they believe, nor do I act in the manner or manners in which they perceive. I think they have nothing better to do, so they just sit around and listen and expect what they hear to be true. I hate when they do that, because they are never close to the truth.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
I think it's just a case that their own lives are so incredibly dull that to add spice to their life they come to different conclusions about others
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
19 May 07
Hello,pyewacket,i do not mind if someone make me a stupid or wrong assumption about me,i cannot control how they think and what they want to say,I may tell them politely that they are not correct,if they insist on making the assumption,i will just laugh it off and i will not argue with them anymore.I am sure you cannot change them if they insist to make the assumption,just let them go.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
19 May 07
Yea, Plan to let them go...that's why I kept my mouth shut and didn't "offer" any info on my real situation...she probably blab about that then
1 person likes this