teen boys and older women...molestation or lucky kid?

@miamilady (4924)
United States
May 20, 2007 8:02pm CST
I've heard guys talk about experiences with older women when they were teens and they seemed to have no regrets. Some even said they were "taught" to be better lovers through the experience. I've also seen the news stories where teachrs had relationships with students and were sent to jail for molestation. I don't think any teacher should ever have that type of relationship with an student, but was the teenager traumatized by the relationship? I'm not so sure. What do you think?
14 people like this
18 responses
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
21 May 07
When I was in high school we had a husband/wife that taught English in different classes. He was also the football coach and she did the whole drama thing. An atrractive couple and it was no secret that they had an "open marriage". Senior year he was charged and found guilty of statutory rape of one of the girls in my American Lit. class. He lost his job, his respect and his marriage. I always felt bad for him, why? Because the girl who accused him (17 and a senior) seduced him! We watched it everyday in class, she'd wear revealing clothes and pass him notes that said things like "I'm wearing lace panties", she was very shameless about it. And when he gave in to temptation she filed a report against him and ruined his life. I'm not trting to condone his behavior, the law is the law, had he waited two months til she turned 18 it would've been no big deal leagally. Was she traumatized? I doubt it, she had her cake, ate it and got a fat settlement from the high school. I guess it depends on th esituation, but when it is all said and done someone has to be an adult, and that adult should be the teacher. Law is law.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
21 May 07
Thanks for sharing. I was thinking more along the lines of boys, and yes I know there is a double standard in that...You're example also brings up some things that show how complex these cases can be. I agree that he was the adult and should have resisted despite her actions but I also think it is clear that she was wrong also. YOu don't seduce and adult and then charge them for it. At 17, she should have know right from wrong and not done what she did.
• United States
21 May 07
Soccermom, I think that young girl was amoral to do something like that for the main reason that you have people who truly get raped, traumatized and then they get NO respect for what has happened to them because you got little girls like that playing adult games and are ruining people's lives. That just isn't right; but back to the subject, I notice unless they were real young, mostly they don't have no regrets on the situation since they know the deal, but I still feel that children are not here on this earth to be someone's plaything; don't mess with no child before his or her time; allow them to have a pain free childhood.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 May 07
I truly believe there is a double standard in this type of situation. Unfortunately for this teacher his willpower wasn't strong enough to withstand his hormones. Being in his position is tough, but it is necessary to hold your ground. He was the adult and young girls like that are everywhere. Unfortunately he lost his job and credibility to learn this lesson.
1 person likes this
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
21 May 07
I think it depends on the situation. I know a lady who was in her twenties when she started dating a gut when he was sixteen. There wasn't a large age difference between the two people involved. They were married for about twelve years before he left er for a younger women. I don't think that he was traumatized by the relationship. I think that it would depend on what age the boy was. I don't think that a fourteen year old really knows what he wants. An older lady would be able to manipulate a boy at that age.
1 person likes this
21 May 07
I think this very much depends on the age of the youngest party. I have no qualms if the teenager is legal, but if he isn't then really the woman ought to know better as she is actually breaking the law. I have heard lots of times that boys lie to these women and say they are older than they are, and if that is the case then fair play.
1 person likes this
@gradyslady (4055)
• United States
18 Sep 07
As long as the teen is of age, hey he's a lucky guy. But if he's under the age of consent, then totally molestation. I'm all for love having no age, but it has to be legal.
@draco666 (174)
• United States
21 May 07
When I was in high school a actually dated a college professor.Me being male, this may been seen I little differnt. Her and I had a very good relationship and didn't care who know. We would have got married but as fate had it she gpt a job else where. We still talk from time to time. Another thing to mention I went to college half day on high. This is a very touchy subject it depends on the mentailty of the people involved.Exmpales somebody suffing from complexes and also the consent involved. I wasn't confused etherway by this happening in fact I am happy it did we taught each other alot. But I can see how this could be hurtful to both partys if the variables change
• United States
21 May 07
They are lying. This does not happen in real life. Put it out of your mind. Always continue to fear so-called "unconventional" relationships. Women have no need for men. Men are worthless. People must help themselves and not depend on others to reach out to them.
• United States
21 May 07
I have read where some father's actually pay for there first experience to be with a call girl as they would not have a bad "first" time. Some even get it as a birthday present!!
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
21 May 07
I think that they probably are in the long run. Emotions and hormones run wild during those years and the older person should be mature enough to keep things appropriate. If they don't there must be consequenses.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
21 May 07
Most of the times I do not think that the teen is traumatized. I think that it is something that he will brag about to his friends and I also think that they are aware that it is wrong and that they are doing it willingly. I also do not agree for a teacher to act like this, but in MOST cases (not all) i do not think that the teen is hurt by it!
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
21 May 07
well the teacher that went and had a baby by the boy went to jail and the boys parents got the baby when she got out of jail the boy followed her and said he loved her and didnt care that she was older she never did look much older than him. So I dont think teachers should but who know . I myself wouldnt want to teach younger any thing for I as old as I am dont know what I would teach they think up their own stuff and try it on their girlfriend only way to learn I think
@smacksman (6074)
21 May 07
Oh lucky kid without a doubt. There is nothing better for the perpetuation of humanity than for experienced women to take virgin males under their tutaledge. Love does not come into it at this stage - this is pure enjoyment after the initial training. Their future wives will be so thankful that they will marry a man that has been 'broken in' and can satisfy them from the start that their marriage stands a better chance of years of happiness. I am in my 38th year of happy marriage. I was taught the art of love at the age of 15 by a gorgeous girl of 27 and we had such fun. I am eternally grateful to her and remember her like yesterday for her beauty and kindness. I'm sure the same will be said by her other pupils.
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
21 May 07
male or female, the adult involved is in breach of trust and undoubtably needs to lose their job. It is not just the doubtful trauma caused to the teen, which may or not be the case dependent upon situation, it is that the adult can not be trusted to follow the rules blessed be
@arsena (293)
• Germany
21 May 07
Why not? I think love can come up between any persons and any ages and there are even happy married couples with big difference of age(women older). But regarding under age relations I would not agree. An under age teen-ager is of chourse happy to experience more but a adult women should think that he is only a kid and shuold not do anything even if she'a attracted.
• Philippines
21 May 07
well if they really love each other why not. age doesnt matter ayt. but i dnt think relationship between teacher and student is nice.
• United States
21 May 07
I think that sort of relationship is a little strange. I just don't think they should be involved with an older woman until they are 18, simply because I think those women really can screw them up. I think the older women are looking for a good time with vulnerable young men and those men get too attached and the women really don't want anything else to do with them after they get what they want. I don't think the guys see it that way though.
@lillake (1634)
• United States
21 May 07
I think it depends on the people involved. Obviously a 17 year old boy would be less affected than a 15 year old boy. Also the teacher could be fresh out of school and only 24, or could be an older teacher in her 30's or 40's. There are too many "could be"s for me to make a sweeping generalization.
@Munira (484)
• United States
21 May 07
Those types of relationships teach teenage boys to manipulate girls in younger age ranges. Although, this is the fantasy of many boys.
@vitausp (101)
• New Zealand
21 May 07
Trauma, rubbish. If the young person was raped then there would be trauma but if they have a consensual relationship it is questionable that any trauma would result. There must be exceptions to this where coercion and pressure has occured, but speaking from a male perspective I cannot believe any young mail complaining about having an experience with an older woman, they only complain if their parent, usually mother, finds out and pressures them into feeling guilty about it. Perhaps it is the mother that is causing the trauma and not the experience they had.