Uninvited Vistors

United States
May 21, 2007 12:02pm CST
I was just wondering what practices you used for uninvited visitors that come to your home unexpectedly? After dinner when everything is finished, we like to shower, put on relaxing/night clothes, maybe pop some popcorn and unwind in front of the TV for a few hours before bed. The most annoying thing that can happen while in the middle of a good program is the doorbell to ring. Let's face it, the phone is annoying, but you can always turn it off or catch the message with the answering service/voice mail. But the doorbell makes you actually have to get up and face someone. We used to have the worse time with this with our oldest son, our entrance door was like a revolving door several days a week. We used to stress to his friends to please call first. It became so bad that we had to tell his friends to wait outside and then we would make them sit on the porch for the visit. We now do this with our youngest because he has started to get a few visitors. Even some adults will practice this behavior. Is this annoying to you? Or are you one of the people that show up on someone's doorstep without calling first? To me, this is just ill mannered unless you are family and it can become abusive even then.
4 people like this
12 responses
• Singapore
10 Jun 07
Thankfully, I don't get guests like you mention. If someone is visiting, they will call first. Like you, I don't appreciate uninvited guests too - simply because they upset my routine. If someone wants to come over, he is asking for my time. I do agree it is courtesy to ask me first so that I can set aside some time for his visit. But if it really happens, no choice there. Put up a smile, smoothen the irritation and try to be a good host. :P
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 07
That smile might be hard to come by as I am not that good of an actress. But of course, you are right, there os no sense being rude just because they are. :)
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• Singapore
10 Jun 07
Then welcome them sincerely haha. :P
1 person likes this
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
29 May 07
Visiting someone without making a prior call is kind of rude .I personaly don't like it that way and i don't do it to people either.Because you don't know what is their plan,perhaps you may just want to relax and get away from people.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 07
I think it is rude, also. It is not something that I practice, either. I even call family before stopping by. Just because they are family doesn't give me the right to just drop by their house and visit without calling. I have to say this, some people really don't mind. I just happen to be one of those that DO mind. Thank you for responding.
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
29 May 07
You welcome..
@shelagh77 (3643)
21 May 07
ha ha ha, do people in the real world INVITE visitors? I thought the space ship dropped them off first thing in the morning! Seriously, I have not had one day without surprise visitors this year and since the beginning of this month I have my in laws here, and that was a surprise bordering on shock to send me screaming into a nervous breakdown, I kid you not! I just throw some more meat and veg into the saucepans and cook bigger meals, arm wrestle the remote control from father in law so that I can watch the one programme an evening I want to watch then leave them all to it and sneak off into another room to play with the internet lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 07
Well, I DON'T! lol But, my husband does. We will be out and he will see someone he knows and says "you should stop by the house sometime. Just drop on by anytime you are in our area." I am thinking "HUH? Are you nuts??!?" lol They usually don't drop by. But, other people do. Sometimes I don't mind. I just think it is a bit rude.
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@shelagh77 (3643)
22 May 07
Ha ha, yes, men are really good at that, there is a standing joke in comedy over here about the man frantically saying "you must come and visit, old Bean" and then the wife freaking when they do lol. I can imagine your face when your husband says that lolololol. Depends on the visitor too, doesn't it? I know it takes all sorts to make a world but you don't necessarily want them in your lounge, do you? I think my laid back attitude comes from my childhood. I was only one of two children but my Father had an enormous family of brothers and sisters and we all used to congregate at Nan's. If anyone wanted to go anywhere sans enfant that was definitely the creche of the day lol.
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11658)
• New York, New York
10 Jun 07
This is one of the things that really gets to me, I would never pop over someones place without calling first and asking if I can come over. My friends and family know me already and they call first otherwise they made a trip for nothing because I will not open my door. That is very rude and you don't know what the person is doing to just come over unannounced like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 07
I would never just drop by another's house, either. I know how it feels and just feel it is a very rude habit. Although some people actually don't mind it. It is one of my pet peeves, actually. Aw, I am much softer than you, I would have to open the door if I knew who it is. Strangers, that is another matter. Thanks for sharing.
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
29 May 07
Visiting someone without making a prior call is kind of rude .I personaly don't like it that way and i don't do it to people either.Because you don't know what their plan will be .Perhaps they may just want to relax and get away from peoples and having a good time time at home.
1 person likes this
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
29 May 07
oops,sorry for repeated post in mistakle...
@chluvcw (31)
• United States
27 May 07
With crime bring what it is now, visiting other at night is not a good thing to practice anymore. Someone who comes to my house after dark are greeted at the door by the barking growling dog, lol. They usually don't want to come in then. Otherwise, if we don't know who they are, we don't open the door. Calling first to let us know you are coming, is the courteous thing to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 07
No, I wouldn't either and it is a good idea to have a dog for protection. Thanks for your response.
@stefyj05 (26)
• United States
22 May 07
I think you are completely correct. People should call before they just pop-up on your doorstep. You never know what is going on at someone's home.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jun 07
So do I, but some people just don't mind it. I am not one of those people, obviously. Thanks you for responding.
@Munira (484)
• United States
21 May 07
I usually peep through the peephole. If it is not family, or as close as family, the door will not be opened.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jun 07
Hi Murina, My peephole IS my front door. I either have to open it or ignore it and you cannot see the door from our front windows, only the street. So, if the car is familiar then we will know that way who it is. Thank you for the comment.
@ycswid (279)
• Canada
10 Jun 07
This has become a pet peeve in our home lately as we have just had hubby's 18 year old son come live with us. We have made it clear that we want to know when someone is coming to the house. We had made that clear when he was not living here as in call before you just show up. Now he thinks he can just come and go without giving us any indication and that has caused great tension. This does not even include his friends showing up. for that we too have done the "visit on the porch" and what dirty looks it gets. I think it's only polite to call prior but that "common courtesy" is not at all common.
• United States
10 Jun 07
No, it doesn't seem to be common anymore to call before stopping and teen-agers seem to be the most inconsiderate of all. The teens are telling me they don't see why WE have a problem with their friends stopping by. I wonder how they would like a bunch of middle aged people walking through their bedroom while they are relaxing, playing a game, doing homework or surfing the web? I bet they would feel the same as we do. It feels like such an invasion of privacy to me. Thank you for responding.
@ycswid (279)
• Canada
10 Jun 07
Well put. I think I'll use that analogy myself. Thanks for that insight.
@irishmist (3820)
• United States
19 Jun 07
We really don't like people that just show up at out door. We like to do our thing as well. If someone calls first, then we don't mind. We can tell it like it is. Now kids on the other hand, well that is a little harder. Kids should be able to see their friends, but the friends should call first. If they do want to come over, oh well then take us as we are. After all what do their parents look like at home chilling out. I myself will just go to my room and close my door. Umm my daughter and 3 grandkids live with me. So I never know what to expect.
• United States
19 Jun 07
I have also went into my room and just read or something, especially if it is one of my husband's friends. Or, I have changed back into my street clothes, brushed my hair and tried to look presentable. I hate to be rude to kids. They tend to not forget and I would not want one of our kids to lose a friend because we were rude. So, we kindly just ask them to wait outside while we tell whoever that they have company..on the porch. There is plenty of seating outside and in the summertime I don't see the big deal.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
17 Jun 07
Well I never had that Problem I have to admit as they always came at a decent Time so I never really had to deal with that but I guess that can be very annoying I know I would not be happy if I have settled for the Night and then got disturbed
• United States
17 Jun 07
Then you are lucky! It IS very annoying, I would say in the evening especially. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
@psyche49f (2511)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
I agree with you. Visitors coming to the house unexpectedly are simply rude because it is tantamount to violating your right to a relaxing evening, until they came along. Young people should be taught to at least call before visiting another people's house, which I never do. I really find it annoying when after supper, you change into something comfortable, watch TV, read your favorite book, then a visitor comes and you have to change your house clothes in order to entertain them. Sometimes it really annoys me that I ask our household help to ask who the visitors are and what they need. Sometimes if they are my college students, I could not help but let them in, which is annoying because I only entertain visitors in the office, but they could not wait, so....But I would like my privacy when I am home so visitors are not always welcome....LOL!
• United States
11 Jun 07
Yes, I also hate having to change back into my street clothes, especially after a long day. Well, you see, there is your problem with your students. You are so likable that they want to visit you at your home. Really if they are visiting you at home you must be very popular and well like amongst the students, which is flattering. Rude, but flattering. We do try to teach our children to call others first before visiting. Most of the time they will, but sometimes....