in laws dilemma

@shadjee1 (604)
Philippines
May 21, 2007 1:19pm CST
Most of the time, when my son wants something and I do not give in especially if i know that he doesnt really need it. (I don't want my son to become a spoiled brat) He will turn to his grandparents instead. And of course after a few "sweet talks", my in -laws would give the things my son is asking for. But when my husband is the one not giving in and my son turns to his grandparents, they'll tell him to listen to his father. Honestly I feel disrespected for that. Am i wrong to feel that way? Do i need to talk to them about it but how?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@maehan (1445)
• United States
21 May 07
That's normal, mine case is similar as yours. Just a little personal, how's your relationship with your in-law? If as close as parent and children, just tell them you would like your son to become a great child instead of spoiled brat. Share with them gently. On the other hand, if the relationship lies as daughter-in-law and in-law, then, talk to your husband and let him do the talking. For myself, I am pretty luck that they treat me like their daughter, they will lecture me, talk to me, praise me just like I am their daughter.
@shadjee1 (604)
• Philippines
22 May 07
well, i really do not know how to approach them about it. We talk but there things that i sometimes leave unsaid. it not that they are not good in laws. they are in fact good in laws but i think they have not adjusted yet on the fact that their only son had gotten married already.
@maehan (1445)
• United States
22 May 07
I understand, this is my very first initial feeling and most of us feel that way. Even majority of my friends had married for 10 over years; they say regardless how there is still a gap in between. My case is pretty unique that both our parent have a long long discussion about me and my spouse. They all jolly well know that we have strong character that sometimes we do not want to give in. Thus, they get together and "nurture" and "educate" us.
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
24 May 07
I don't think there is anything wrong with the way that you are feeling. It's a normal reaction. I suggest that before you talk to your in-laws try to discuss it with your husband first. In that way he will not be caught in between. Thinking that everything is alright with you and your in-laws and then something like this happens. It's best that you talk with your in-laws together as husband and wife.
@shadjee1 (604)
• Philippines
27 May 07
Yes , I guess you are right. But of course I will also need some courage to speak to my husband about it since their his parents. I need to tell it to him as nicely as possible to avoid long discussions.
• Philippines
30 May 07
I'd feel the same way you do if I were in your shoes. If I were you I'd tell my husband about it and he'll be the one to tell his parents to respect your decision. It might cause a friction if you will personally tell your in-laws about how you feel. Most in-laws couldn't understand and are stubborn.