To the stay-at-home-moms: What made you decide to stay home instead of work?

United States
May 21, 2007 10:10pm CST
Ever since this graduate school ordeal has been stressing me out, I have seriously had thoughts of just becoming a stay at home mom. I'm the type to get bored doing the same thing over and over at a job. To all of you who are stay at home moms, what made you decide to become one? Do you have a college degree and decided not to use it? Do you like being at home or would you rather be out there working? Sorry for all the questions but I would like some more information and advice about this type of lifestyle. Thanks!
7 people like this
18 responses
@34momma (13896)
• United States
23 May 07
well i was on both sides of this. i was able to stay home with my oldest son until he started school. then stayed home with my second son until he was 3. with my little girl i went back to work when she was 8 months. I would love to be able to stay home with my children. I mean i just missed out on so much. and i see the difference in the children that i was able to spend more time with oppose to my children that i was not able to do so. i mean it is a choice that you should not make lightly. because there are benefits to both sides of this topic. either way, i say when you do make sure you don't look back. because feeling bad about what you pick is no help to you or the children.
@magikrose (5424)
• United States
23 May 07
My husband and I discussed me staying home with the kids when I was pregnant with our last child. I do not have a degree in anything even tho I would love to have one. I love being available for my kids when they need me the most. There are times that I wish I was working mainly to be able to help with the bills but then I realise that I will be unavailable for my kids when they are sick and that I would loose hours and money because I woul have to take time off to care for them when they are sick. Also during the summer I would have to pay a sitter to watch my kids while I worked and that would take my entire paycheck so it wouldent be worth it. In the long run I find being a stay home mom more rewarding in the end.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
23 May 07
I decided that I don't like the idea of someone else getting the precious moments that children bring. My husband works far away, coming home every once in awhile, so I felt my son needed one stable person in his life. I have gone through college, if you think that's stressful, motherhood can bring more stress! I spend all my time with a child who has a limited vocabulary, that can be a nightmare at times! However, you will never do the same thing everyday lol, they do bring some suprises! This morning my son took his diaper off and pooped on the floor ;)
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
22 May 07
Hate to break it to you sweetie, but if you're trying to become a SAHM just for the stress-relief, it may backfire. I've got two little ones and when I wasn't working, it was WAY more stressful. When I was in school, there was a high amount of stress, but it was different. There were outlets readily available. If you do decide to go through with it though, be sure to have a super strong support group. Good luck Blessed Be
@maehan (1445)
• United States
22 May 07
I have no choice, my husband is working in another country for years. He had been asking me to quit my job from my hometown and bring the kids to be with him. After 5 years, I finally agree to give up my career, pack up and bring the children to be together with him. Now, all of us are together. Life is tougher without my parent assistance :o(. But, like what my mom say, we have to be together not only via web-cam. ;o)
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
22 May 07
I have always been a homebody. I don't want to miss any of my kid's childhood. Working just takes to much time and it's very difficult to find quality childcare at an affordable price. That is why I have a daycare in our home. I can help other people who have no choice other than to work and still earn a living while rasing my kids. I don't have a college degree. I wish I did just so that I would have set a better example for my kids though.
• United States
22 May 07
I'm a stay at home mom, i've been one for just about 5 months now. I was a telemarketer before I became a stay at home mom, it was my very first job. I believe that I left the job because i wasn't cruel enough to be rude to the customers, and to be assertive enough to dogde they're real questions. Needless to say the job wasn't for me, and it wasn't worth paying 320.00$ a month for daycare to have the job. I decided that it was cheaper and easier for me to become a house wife, it was just easier to take 320$ out of my budget than to recieve a 400$ check from a telemarketing company. I loved my friends and I loved working, but I didn't like the job. When I started being a stay at home mother I realize that I had more time to do things, and more time to spend with my family. I know things i wouldn't know or have time for if i was working. I think sometimes I would rather be working and making money, but I much rather prefer being at home. Now I would recommend being a stay at home mom if you can accomodate the drop in monthly income, and you can handle all the tasks that happen during the day. I could accomodate the pay change, because my husband gets paid very well. You need to be ready if the need should arise to get a new job, and be able to realize that the longer you are without a job the worse it looks on a resume. I've talked to local employers about this and they've all told me that the longer a person is without work is the less likely that they will be employed, so if you do decide to be a stay at home should you ever go back to work expect that. Being a stay at home mother is good for you to get close to your children, I think that it helps you see many things you wouldn't if you were working. So if you are wanting to stay home and be a stay at home mom all the power to you, just remember the pro's and the con's and you'll be fine.
@s_keenom (33)
• United States
22 May 07
I love to stay at home and have now been doing it for 2 years. My daught er was 4 almost 5 and I was about to have my son. And after I looked into it, it was cheaper for me to stay home with him then for me to work I actually was working to just pay for daycare. Well I got bored after about 6 months and started to babysit a little girl. Now I am still babysitting her and I am trying to start my own avon business at home. It is kinda cool. I can place orders for people all over the US. Or people can order from me at: http://youravon.com/skeenom
• United States
22 May 07
I have three children ages 11, 8 and 1. My decision to stay at home with my youngest child was made because it was the best choice financially at this time. We live way out in the middle of nowhere and my girls go to school even farther back into the woods, not close to town. So for me to go to work would entail driving them to school for "before school care" and then backtracking towards town, dropping my son off at daycare and then going to my job. With the cost of care for my girls and the cost for daycare for my son plus gas it just isn't worth it right now. I love nothing more than making money but at this time it would be stupid for me to work outside of my home. Just so I don't feel like I'm not contributing financially I raise goats, sell the offspring I don't want and will be selling "goat by-products" soon, stuff like milk, cheese, and soap. I also do a little selling on Ebay which is fun and gives me some "play money". Taking the financial stuff out of the equation, I would love to have a job outside of the home - depending on the job. Before we moved to the ends of the earth I worked in a veterinary office and absolutely loved my job. If I could go back to that and not drive for hours just to get there I would love to do that again. But I don't want my son in a daycare at this point. My girls had to go to daycare from the time they were babies and they seemed to always have a runny nose or cough or something! My son is the healthiest kid I have ever seen, he occasionally gets a runny nose but gets over it quickly. Plus, staying home with him full time has given me the opportunity to bond better with him than my girls and also give him a head start on education. He is 20 months old to be exact and has a huge vocabulary, he can count to twelve, knows most of his colors, recognizes so many objects - he's constantly talking. With my girls I was working all the time, sometimes 65 hours a week, and didn't have time to sit with them to do much of anything. Once my son has started kindergarten I will most likely go back to work, staying at home without him would be too boring for me. I am the type of person who has to have a purpose every day. Before we moved my purpose was focused on caring for the animals at the vet's office. Now my purpose is giving my son the best start in life and caring for him everyday. After he is in school, who knows.
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
22 May 07
I never knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom until I had my daughter. The whole time I was pregnant I was working and just always thought I would go back to work with no problem. Well after I had my daughter all that changed. My fiance runs his own computer repair business from the home and started doing really well with it so I never had the need to go back to work. The was one month where things got slow with his business so I went back to work. It absolutely killed me everyday I went to work and left my precious girl. Luckily soon after I started working my fiances business picked right back up so I got to quit because he needed me more at home to help with the business. And as far as school goes I'm a little over halfway done with getting my bachelor's degree so I plan on going back part time to finish my degree so I will have something to do when my daughter goes to school.
@fengbo (731)
• China
22 May 07
I think i cannot to stay home,when i get a college degree i will find a job by meself.so everything on its own.
@gharinder (2044)
• India
22 May 07
well it really depends upon the financial situation of the family, being a phd in botany i would love to work outside and second important reason behind my decision is the finance problem that my family is facing, i want to be independent too. although being at home is great but if you have knowledge why not share with others
@magnet (2089)
• United States
22 May 07
I have a degree in Biology and I use to work in my field of study untill I was laid off from work. I did not want to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to work and do well in my career.I was made a stay at home mom not by choice. I looked for work for a couple of months and then I stopped looking and decided that it's not that bad staying at home with my children. I really love it. I thought that I was missing out by not working, but I was really missing out by not staying at home with my children. Of course I want to go back to work eventually. I worked my butt off in school and I don't want to waste my degree and sit at home for the rest of my life.
@sabwinner (499)
• China
22 May 07
Hi, dimplesnlaughs. Stay at home is good. I am stay at home now but not a mother. I get bored of working as much as you do. So I choose to stay at home for a year. My opinion is if you have enough financial support for staying at home, just staying! It's comfortable for you mental and body. If some day you want to have a job, you can have it, it's not a big deal! Now, you can enjoy you time at home!
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
22 May 07
I don't have a college degree, but I had a very good job managing a photography studio when I got married. My husband wanted me to stay home and not work. It is very rewarding to be able to stay home and take care of your family, but it is also a lot of doing the same thing over and over. It was hard for me, because I was used to having my own money, to become dependent on somebody else. And, what has happened to me, is after spending the time taking care of my family, I'm no longer qualified to get a good job. Sometimes I resent the fact that I didn't keep working. But, then I look at my children and I'm glad I was able to be home with them. My husband has been very supportive and always says that the money he makes is our money. He still says he likes me being at home and not working and he likes me working on my website and being able to "work" at home.
• United States
22 May 07
I decided to become a stay at home mom because I got burned out of my job after being a pharmacy technician for 21 years. I also was doing a side business selling Home and Garden Party, and decided to give it a try full time. It is a lot of fun doing home parties and I enjoy spending time with the girls doing the shows. I also think that I can make pretty good money if I do 3 parties a week. I would like to go back to school and finish my degree, but I have not done that yet. I just am enjoying not being so stressed out everyday, the work load was getting too much to handle for me. I really am enjoying staying at home, now I just have to get better at asking people to do home shows.
• United States
22 May 07
My husband and I felt that it was important that I spend the 1st few years of our child's life with him. I know no one else will be able to take better care of him than me. Thank God we can manage on one income. It's not easy and requires a lot of sacrifices. Yes, I do have a college degree and had worked more than 10 years prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom. It wasn't a difficult transition for me though cos' I really enjoy spending that quality time with our child. Between him and the housework, pets, yard work, cooking, cleaning, etc...there really isn't much time to be idle. I really do enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. There's a lot to do but it's worth it. I get to schedule my own time and do things the way I want it and when I want it.
• United States
22 May 07
My son - Son
After my son passed I decided that I wanted to be home with my children more and at the time I was also in school pursuing a degree and I had a change of priorities. It is wonderful and I wish I would have done it sooner.