Is it ok to go to dinner with and old "friend" if you are married?
By alainnmiog
@alainnmiog (660)
United States
30 responses
@wasabibot (129)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Sure, as long as you tell your wife (or husband). If you have to ask then your intentions are no good.
2 people like this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Yep, it's a complicated situation for her. She doesn't want to tell him not to go, but she's worried about the other woman's intentions.
@cutedeceiver (384)
• Pakistan
28 Oct 06
Friends always remain friends whether they are old or new.. but if you're married then the permission of your husband is must.. and if you feel better than take your husband with you and introduce both of them. It's the best way.
2 people like this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Actually, in this case, it's the husband who needs the permission from his wife. She's trying not to show her worry, but she's having a difficult time.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
I think it's a little more complicated than that, but thanks for your opinion! :-)
@Billabongbabe (348)
• United States
27 Oct 06
I think its okay if your husband is okay with it. If he feels uncomfortable or if you even think its a little weird then maybe it's not a good idea. Only you can tell, hope it works out. :)
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
27 Oct 06
Actually, my friend's husband is planning on going to dinner and drinks for 3 hours with an old high school crush. I told her to keep her eyes WIDE open. She doesn't want to act jealous (brings up a trust issue fight). She may try to go along, but that also brings up a trust issue fight.
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
28 Oct 06
ok does the wife know this person??? i think it's all about an issue of trust.. I don;t think I would not have a problem with it as long as I knew the person that my husband was going to dinner with.. It also depneds on there past if was an old girlfriend then I think I would not be to happy about it.
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
My friend has never met the woman he's going to go to dinner with. She does have a problem with it, because he used to have a crush on this woman when they were in school. He claims that the woman was like a "sister" to him.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Amen! He sort of invited her, but told her she'd be bored (as more of an after-thought to make her feel better). I told her to go. But he hasn't gotten around to inviting her for real, yet. I told her that she has to go and to tell him that it wouldn't be boring to hear about when he was younger before they met.
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Oh yeah I would have a big problem with it.. I would need to meet the person first. I would tell my husband if she is like a sister then how come we have never met.
@littletoad (317)
• Canada
28 Oct 06
If it's just a friend, why would there be a problem?
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Because it's not as simple as that. He used to have a crush on the woman he's gong to dinner with.
@littletoad (317)
• Canada
29 Oct 06
USED to have a crush. That doesn't mean he still has any kind of feelings for her. If there is any chance he does, then obviously it's not appropriate. Otherwise, I don't see a problem with it UNLESS it makes his wife uncomfortable in which case he should respect her feelings and either invite her along so she can see there's no problem or not go.
@hush5605 (674)
• United States
29 Oct 06
There is no harm going to dinner with an old friend if you are married as long as you have trust inyoru relationship and feel that the dinner would not lead to misunderstandings or generate feelings of rejection in your partner. You could always explain to the old friend that you are now married and take your spouse along with you and invite him/her to do the same. Surprisingly, you may find that you have a lot in common and the friendship could continue amongst the 4 of you as a result.
1 person likes this
@Ynefz0r (832)
• Finland
28 Oct 06
You should tell your husband about it. That way he feels that you have nothing to hide right? Im sure it's okay if you remain friends... don't do anything stupid! If that guy starts babbling about some bull**** then just say that you're married and leave...:P
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
It's not me that's going. It's my friend's hubby! I keep telling her that something smells fishy about the whole thing. If it were me, I wouldn't go unless hubby came with me and the other person's spouse was going, too.
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
28 Oct 06
as long as your partner is okay with it
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
If only it were that simple. She's having a rough time with the idea of her hubby going. My heart goes out to her.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
That's a very interesting perspective. But I think my friend wants to keep her hubby around. She doesn't want him to cheat on her.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
29 Oct 06
That's true, but unfortunately, my friend's husband is making it more difficult than it should be. He behavior is a little odd about the whole thing.
@dus_baby123 (4)
• India
28 Oct 06
ya u can if ur partner is cool and open minded
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
My friend wants to trust her hubby, but she's not so sure about this woman he's going to go to dinner with.
@BellasmamaTiff (2544)
• United States
28 Oct 06
I think its fine, as long as you are in a place in your current relationship where you both feel completely comfortable and secure. In my relationship right now, my man would completely be fine with it. Because our trust and security is high enough to support such things. So, really, it depends on the couple and their maturity level and maturity of their relationship.
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
How wonderful that your relationship is so strong! I'm not sure that her marriage is that strong. I hope they can get through this.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
That's what I tried explaing to her. If only her hubby understood that.
@narayanshravan (151)
• India
28 Oct 06
absolutelly...no prbs at al..make ur spouse blv that its urs good old frnd. and enjoy good times...
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
I think her situation is a little more complicated than that! But thanks for your opinion! :-)
@apaulsen0119 (69)
• United States
28 Oct 06
so long as your spouse doesn't mind
1 person likes this
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
Unfortunately, my friend does mind that he's going. She us unsure of the other woman's intentions.
@deeds14 (815)
• United States
28 Oct 06
My rule of thumb is, don't do anything that you wouldn't do in front of your husband/wife. This way, you're not being sneaky and won't break their trust. If he has a problem with it, I wouldn't go, it's just not worth it.
@alainnmiog (660)
• United States
28 Oct 06
She has a problem with it and he's going anyway. I hope they get through this in one piece.
