OK I need some help.

A bridal shower gift A wedding gift a gift - A bridal shower gift. A wedding gift. A gift
United States
May 22, 2007 4:14pm CST
I have been invited naturally to my sister in laws wedding. And today I received the invite for the Bridal shower. My problem is I have never really got ten along very well with my sister in law. I know she is my husbands sister and all we just but heads to much. I told my husband that for him I will go to the bridal shower. But to be 100% honest with you I dont want to spend all kinds of money on gifts. Along with the invite was a little card that said she is registered at Linens N things. I looked at the website and saw her list of what they want. And a lot of it does not cost to much. But here is my question Do I have to take a gift from the registry to the Bridal shower? Or just the wedding?
6 people like this
17 responses
@Inky261 (2524)
• Germany
22 May 07
Why don`t you do as you think fit? You have to feel comfortable. I have never mattered much to people at a wedding, they are very busy just by themselves. If you don`t care, maybe they feel similar? It is just an occasion for a reunion. If it is too much, just go to one event and say you are too busy to go to the other. Ask if flowers will do, or bake a cake. Just do as you figure it right for you and then it will be ok because you feel good. The couple to be wed have other things on mind than controlling what you do or give.
3 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
You are very right about that. But my question was do I have to take gifts to both events?
2 people like this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
22 May 07
Most of the time I heard that people buy gifts grom bridal registry for the wedding, not the shower. But if this little note is attached to both shower invitation and wedding invitation, this means she requires you to buy gifts there for both events. If it's an all in one invitation where it mentions both wedding and shower, it's safe to buy the gifts for the wedding only. (It's all in one invitation so mainly for the wedding but she also includes shower information) then for the shower you will bring gifts but not necessarily from the registry. If it were me, I would buy both gifts from registry since as you said it's not too expensive. Otherwise maybe do as you and your husband think the best, it's your family matters anyway. Hope this helps :)
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
Im thinking of getting her a dozen roses and some choclates for the shower. And buying one of the more expensive gifts for the wedding.
2 people like this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
22 May 07
sounds fair to me. linens n things here are a little bit more pricey, but I heard they do have good quality. i'm sure she'll love chocolate and flowers :)
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
I hope so.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
22 May 07
It is not the gift it is the thought that counts so just use you best judgement on what you get for her. and for the thing about you two butting heads all the time well for right now just maybe bite your toung and remember this is her time and maybe this could be the thing that will bring peace with you both. good luck on what you pick for her I am sure she will like it. Hugs!
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
Yeah we kinda hashed things out over new years when I saved her from getting beat up. But I guess the past is the past and we both as adults need to learn how to leave it in the past. I think I know what I'm getting her its on her list and something I can afford. But I'm just not sure if I'm supposed to take a gift to both the wedding and the shower.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
22 May 07
well I am not sure I think that if you get one for the shower then you dont have to for the wedding. I been married two time but never had a real wedding to know about that or even a shower. but I would say just get one for the shower and then the wedding guest will get the gifts for the wedding.
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
Thank you very much.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12651)
• United States
23 May 07
Yes, You need a gift for the shower, and then you need a gift for the wedding. Money is usually given for the wedding. Here is what I have done for bridal shower gifts. I get a laundry basket, then I fill it with all kinds of household items. Towels, cleaning products, trash bags, paper towels, toilet paper, foil, napkins. The list is endless, and it really doesn't have to cost that much to fill the basket. I would then wrap everything in wrapping paper. The recipient of the basket loved it. You are free to choose you own gift or to use the registry.
2 people like this
• United States
23 May 07
What a great idea.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
23 May 07
I wouldn't actually know whether to take a present for both, however since she indicated on the invitation then I probably would. I would pick something less expensive and in my price range. Are you being asked to help towards the wedding in any way? because if you are then you wouldn't need to buy a gift for the wedding I would think. My sister in law got married a year ago and because we contributed towards the page boys outfits, and fala table runners which I got made in Samoa and cost quite a bit, and we had to pay for our airfares to get to the wedding, we didn't buy a present for the wedding only because we helped out with the preparations. I'm sure you will find something nice that she will like.
• United States
23 May 07
yes thank you.
1 person likes this
@maehan (1445)
• United States
22 May 07
In order not to get thing sour; just head for both the wedding and bridal shower. Since the gift do not cost much, and moreover is your husbands sister. Take it easy, mingle with those you are comfortable with both the bridal shower and wedding. Any, she will be busy entertaining that day.
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
You are right and I do want it to be special for her.
1 person likes this
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
22 May 07
It's all depends on individual .If you have close relationship with them ,it's nice to buy give for both wedding and bridal shower.But as i can see in your situation if it's me i will attend her wedding ceremony but not her bridal shower . I choose wedding because i think wedding is more important then bridal shower.Even though i don't like them but In some point i still show my respect to their wedding. However ,i hope you both will reconcile after this.Forget the past,it doesn't matter who's wrong or right.Wish you all the best
2 people like this
• United States
22 May 07
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Both. It won't hurt to give two gifts, after all she is family. That would also tell her (and your husband) that you are attempting a better relationship with her.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 07
And that is exactly what we did.
• United States
2 Jul 07
Family is family. You should be at her shower as her sister in law you belong there. I don't know what state you live in but if you actually have a linens and things near you you can go into the store and pick up a currcular. They usually have a discount coupon on the back (like 20-40% on single item) and just buy her gift from the store. As for the wedding, cash is usually good. I have heard 50-100 dollars per person depending on the type of wedding (big or little) supposed to go by what they are paying per head to feed everyone. But me, I go for what I can afford. You should go to the shower. They will probably be taking pictures and if your not in them I'm sure you will hear about how you didn't show....if it's that kind of relationship anyway. Hope this helps.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 07
I went and we ended up getting her a cake holder.
• Philippines
27 May 07
you must bring a gift on the bridal shower just find nice even not expensive gift just to show you give a little of your precious time to find a thing for her special day.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 07
OK thank you for your answer.
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
23 May 07
My First question is Is she living with the groom right now and how long have they been living together? Wedding showers and gifts at the wedding are a hold over from the time of giving a dowery. A dowry was to be for the starting of the home because the couple had not had money or time to get the necessarys for seting up housekeeping. Now if they are living together they should already have everything needed. So As a gesture of good will I would just take a gift to the shower.
• United States
23 May 07
They do live together and have lived together for about 2 or 3 years.
@Swtrose (3399)
• Canada
23 May 07
I've been to a number of wedding showers and weddings. For the wedding I would choose something from Linens N things. For the bridal shower I would buy a small inexpensive bridal shower gift. A couple times I bought lingerie for a shower gift. Maybe you could buy her a nice frame or wedding keepsake album.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 May 07
The frame is an excellent idea.
• Canada
22 May 07
i think the choice is really up to you.you can take something to the shower from you but also something to the wedding from you and your husband for the couple
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 07
Yes that is true and a great idea.
1 person likes this
23 May 07
Hi there, I THINK YOU SHOUL GO YOU SAID YOU NEVER GOT ON WITH HER THIS MIGHT CHANGE THINGS IF YOU GO SHOW YOUR FACE AT LEAST
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
23 May 07
I think it is okay to do either.I think the shower is maybe a gift for her and the wedding could be a gift to both. And I don't think you have to bring a gift from the registry to the shower because don't couples usually register together? And its not like the shower is for the couple just the bride right? So you could do something nice just for her(if u want) for the showere just to show her you are being supportive of the marriage or whatever, and save the registry for the wedding so the couple can open it together.
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
23 May 07
it is only an invitation, you have the right to go or not to go, as for the gift you give what you want and can afford to, as you said you have never gotten along yet and it doesn't look like it will start now so do what you feel comfortable with, If she doesn't like it that is her problem, you can not change some one they have to be willing to do this then selves. Personally I would go and have a good time and not let her get the best of you, as for a gift, you pick out what you would be delighted to get. This may be all about her as it is her shower, but that does not make you indebted to her. This is just my opinion, and you may do as you wish. Robin
1 person likes this
@azimsay (546)
• India
23 May 07
Once my grandchild birthday Iinvited so many at that day .And big fungsion was.At that day I need my friend to help I call her ,she came I thank to her.
1 person likes this