How do you deal with three year old tantrums?

United States
May 22, 2007 7:08pm CST
My little kid is going through a phase where she just has to have everything she wants, and if she doesn't get it right now, she throws a fit. This is normal behavior, I'm sure. But, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. They say the terrible twos are bad, but they don't tell you about the awful threes! Any suggestions on coping. Should I give in. What about times when I really don't have the option to give in...like for safety concerns.
1 person likes this
5 responses
• Canada
23 May 07
I hear ya LOL My son did that from 1 and a half to 3 and a half and what I did was ignore him even when I was in a store if he layed on the floor I would walk away and wait a distance away where he couldn't see me unless he got up. That way it got him away from what he wanted and he thought I was leavin him there so he would get up and come runnin to me. he did it one time outside a store and I walked around the corner. I knew he wouldn't run into the road or anything so I knew he was safe to do that with but if your unsure of what your daughter would do then definately do not do that. I would say if your in a store and you have a cart make her sit in it if she pulls a fit or if you have picked something up for her just tell her ok you don't want to listen so this is going back but one thing you have to make sure of is be very consistant or this won't work. and DO NOT EVER tell her something you will not folloe through with either otherwise she will always think that you will cave eventually. It can be hard on both you and her but give it 2 weeks and I bet you she quits as long as you don't give into it. It worked for me. Oh and try doing a reward system make a chart and get some stickers and tell her if she listens to you for 1 day she gets a sticker and then start making it longer. Now I am trying to get my son to sleep in his room so we have a chart for that and he gets a small toy once a week if he sleeps up there for all 7 days and its been great soon enough here I will be extending it to 2 weeks but anyhoo I hope this helps you hun Hugs
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
23 May 07
I agree with this comment. We were at a dr appt. when my son threw a a major one and the doctor reccomended I leave him be. He said when they realize they are not getting their way they will move on. A change of scenery helps too. Like what strawberrykisses said. In the store or even at home, move out of their eyesight(wwhile keeping them in yours). It does work. Even changing the subject. Bring up something you know your kid loves. Reward systems work sometimes too. It works wonders for one of my boys, and doesn't phase the other one.But kids get easily distracted . So occupying them with something else or moving them somewhere else sometimes helps to get their mind off it. good luck. I believe the threes are much worse than twos. We are just getting into the 4's with our second one so it should be getting better. RIGHT?
• Canada
23 May 07
Oh you are definately doing the right thing giving them something else(as long as its not in a store and a diff toy LOL). its the same as when they are first learning new things if they are getting into something they shouldn't what do we do? we move them to something else to distract them right? I am already having to do this with my 10 month old LOL shes into EVERYTHING it seems alot worse than her big brother LOL the key is to either distract or ignore and don't give in they have to learn at some point that they can't always have what they want otherwise we end up with those kids that think they don't need to earn anything in life.
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
23 May 07
And they should warn you about the terrible fours & fives too if the tantrums aren't dealt with quickly and in the right manner. Tantrums are 100% normal. And this advise is coming from a mother with a 5 year old girl who was still throwing tantrums until alittle bit ago and it was continuing because of me. I didn't handle them right. I realized that tantrums are for getting what they want - attention. I give her a warning to stop. If she doesn't then she goes to time out and if she doesn't walk there herself - I take her to the spot. If she gets up, I put her right back in place and never say a word to her. The more you talk during their tantrum - you are giving them the attention they want so they are getting their 'reward'. When the time out is over, I make her say sorry and explain what happened and why. Then I leave it at that. Not bringing it up again. I have seen this solve tantrum throwing in most kids within a few days to a few weeks.
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
23 May 07
Well,today's kids are harder to deal with.My son learned sophism and bargain with me for what i let him to do.For example:before he does his homewrok,he will first ask for the rewards.If there is no rewards,he will not do it.And one day,he asked me why i always tell him this should be done,that should not be done,i answered"cuz i am ur mother".Guess what he said"do u have any evidence?"I think to your kid who throw a fit,you should not give in,you know,the they are insatiable.Let here know she is wrong.
@emarie (5455)
• United States
23 May 07
sorry to tell you this but the terrible 2's last until age 12...lol well, every parents knows its not easy to deal with. i mean, i got 2 boys under the age of 5 and they're not picnic. the key is to just stand your ground and have tollerance. you don't give in and keep your word. if you do that just once she'll know and walk all over you. don't show you're stressed when she throws a fit. and basiclly its good to ignore it if she doesn't hurt herself. especially when at home. if in public. take her out of that place. sit in the car with her or just go home. let her know she can't get away with anything she wants and there are limitations. now it doesn't mean it'll work all the time. i don't have any experiance with girls and they may think differently. find out what fits and what works best with your child and go with it...hard. don't give in at all though, no matter what, no matter how much screaming or crying she does. no deals, no nothing. thats the hard part.
• United States
23 May 07
The first time I threw a tantrum was my last. I was freaking out nad my dad layed me down on the floor and I hit my head. never threw a tantrum again. Not recommending this method, but yeah that is how my dad dealt with it.