New house, new living arrangement

United States
May 23, 2007 4:27am CST
We are finally considering to buy a new house, after how many years, finally. i think there is a very big possibility of this thing becoming a reality. It has always been the four of us, but if this new house happen to push through, we'll be living together with my grandma and my aunt, plus my cousin. Anyone thinks of this kind of living arrangement a good idea or not... Personally I am not used to that kind of a set up, cause it has always been only our family under one roof. I do not know how it'll turn out to be when we live under one roof with extended family. Anyone has any experience with this kind of living arrangement? Let me know the pros and cons.
3 responses
• United States
23 May 07
Well it will take patience getting used to that many people around. However, it can be done if people respect space and each other. I can honestly say that living with in-laws can be difficult..very difficult. But, if you got along with them before living together then living together shouldn't be too bad. The main thing is to make sure that you take time with your individual family group instead of everyone all the time. Of course do "one big happy family" things but also maybe twice a week or something make time for just you and your little family so that you don't forget that you can all be together on your own sometimes. Make sure that the grandma and aunt also know about rules you don't want broken and that sort of thing with the kids. Hopefully no one's feelings get hurt but these things are important if the situation will work out right. Good luck to you! It's one of the situations that has really as many pros as it does cons and if you work it right and try to let the little stuff go most of the time it should work out fine. But, like I said make sure that you take time for you..and your little family as well as making time to do some big-family things together. That way you don't feel like you've been assimilated into a whole new world and you can have some quiet time with your family too.
• United States
23 May 07
Thank you for your wondeful advice. Actually we are really close to my grandma. But then we have never lived under the same roof ever, and I have heard from people that it is different when you are living together cause sometimes you can't avoid them getting into your "business" or vice versa. What was then okay with my parents my grandma might have something to say about. I just don't want to have any conflict in the future because of people meddling with eack others personal issues. Which I know is bound to happen in a setup like that. But I do hope everything works out.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
23 May 07
Several years ago we moved into a house that my grandparents had bought as my mom had mortgaged it and was behind on the payments. She lied to us about only owing the one loan and she actually had several of them on it. Anyway, we lost the one house that I had always loved and wanted my kids to grow up in- great yard,great neighbors, huge rooms, etc. Well, naturally she is so far in debt that she had to move with us when we let the house go. It is a very hard arragement and she refuses to do anything around the house even though I work outside the home,help my husband with the business that he owns, home school my kids, and run all the errands as my husband is out of town all week. Anyway, she also refuses to give us the amount of money that she said in the beginning that she would give us to help with house payment. She has all utilities paid for her by us and she has access to any food in the house. We have a washer and dryer that she uses and we furnish laundry detergent etc. She also will not watch my youngest daughter if I have to work and my older child does too. I have to take her to my mother-in-law who lives about 45 minutes away. From my side of things, I would never tell anyone to live with someone else in the family. It has caused a lot of tension in our home and my husband now hates my mom due to the fact that we have caught her going through our personal papers and that she has lied to us on several occasions. Good luck in your adventure and I hope that it works for you.
@alpine_007 (1476)
• Pakistan
23 May 07
this type of living arrangement has advantages and disadvantages both because in this kind of living arrangement you have less privacy and everyone wants to do something else but in this kind of arrangement you also get more people to live with and you don't get bored