Substitute in relations

when I was younger, I learned the hard way not to compete with a ghost. I was with a man for 11 years and I was never good enough, the other woman was always better. So after him, I vowed I would never let another man do that to me again and I never did.

I guess it would depend on what part I play in the relationship. I can be a substitute friend for anyone. I can let someone cry on my shoulder when their best friend isn't available. Sometimes people find it easier to tell a stranger their problems rather then their family or friends. I will not be a substitute for an ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife. I don't believe that this kind of relationship is healthy. Or that it can be long lasting.

I wouldn't go along with that becuase the only way for a person to heal is to be alone for awhile to reflect on just what went wrong in their previous relationship.

I don't think I could be a substitute in a relationship. I am all or nothing. If you don't love me and me only, don't be with me. If you are still pining over someone and looking to be in another relationship that is wrong. I mean I think we have all done this, but it's wrong nonetheless. It is too often that we hurt our partners/mates because of stupidity or neglect or selfishness. I think this is a gross act of selfishness. So, I wouldn't be with someone like that.

I will be so blameful and perhaps ful of hatred for that person? I mean its not only insulting, its also extremely hurting.. I mean how could u do this to me? NO matter how time heals, i will always look back and have this phobia... I mean, afterall, i dunno if u are real to me... I hate people who takes other people for granted much less as substituiion... It means that they never appreciate anyone and they are so full of themself and what else can i say? argh... just the mention of it makes me angry..