Will it damage the kids too much?

@toe_ster (771)
United States
May 23, 2007 3:43pm CST
I have three boys ages 6,4 and 1. I would like to make a better life for them. I think if I was to go to college and get a good job I would be able to. However it is not that easy. My husband would rather work two jobs then to let me work one. And he is all for mne going to school, but won't give up either job. I thought if I was to move back home with the kids and went to school while having family support, it could work out. In my opinion they don't see their dad that much as it is. Not that that is what I am trying to do.But in the long run, will it benefit the kids more for me being able to support them better by doing this? Or wait a few more years and try again. I am not trying to take them away from their dad to be mean. I just can't figure out any other ways? Any ideas???
4 people like this
10 responses
• United States
23 May 07
What about online courses? I know many schools are starting to offer degrees online [not just U of Phoenix] etc. The community college I teach at will be offering an Associates Degree online this fall and I know at least 1 4 year school in the area that offers a couple of 4 year degrees. The CC I'm at also offers weekend degrees - Friday nights, Saturdays and some Sunday afternoons. There's limited options for courses [here, you have to take either US History 1 and 2 OR Intro to American government - they only offer the Into to govt class for those degrees], but it can still work.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
23 May 07
I like the idea of online course. I don't know exactly how they work though .Is online course easy to do with 3 kids running around at home? Do employers take online degrees as serious as they do regular college degrees?
2 people like this
• United States
24 May 07
Online degrees that are associated with a regular college (like a community college), typically are just like any other degree from the same institution. Another thought is to take the majoruty of the courses online and take a few "in person" when they fit with your family's schedule. As for doing it with the kids running around: the beauty of online courses is that you do them when it works for you (such after they are in bed). When I took my courses online, I still had reading to do from a textbook so I did that when I could throughout the day and then worked on the rest of the course (mainly discussions and writing assignments) as I could throughout the evenings. The courses will run on a timeline, but you have the flexibility of "attending" class at a time that is convenient for you, even if that means at midnight. Best wishes to you.
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
24 May 07
Thank you so much. It seems like a really good option. I haven't personally known anyone who has done online course so I never got the chance to ask. Thank you for the REALLY good info.
@PsychoDude (2018)
• Netherlands
23 May 07
Why can't the dad be there for them along and just go work 1 job? It's better for the kids to have 2 parents in their lives at least parts of the day and asides from that it's also better for the dad's health most likely to work just one job and not take too much on his back.
2 people like this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
23 May 07
I don't know why he doesn't want to give up either job. We have discussed it many times. We need the money to support the family. In reality we both should be working right now until one of us can get a good paying job so that we only need the one job.Which is why he supports me going to school. But it doesn't work out for transportation or babysitting if he has our one car and he is working all the time
1 person likes this
@limosonia1 (1560)
• United States
24 May 07
How about going to school online that way you don't have to give up being home with the kids and your husband quitting one of his jobs. I loved doing it on line and it's the same education if you apply yourself. I finished my accounting and now i am taking a realestate class on line. Even if your full course isn't online you can atleast take most of the core requirments on line. Good luck don't give up on your dreams though.
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
24 May 07
Is it expensive? And how do you know which is a good course. (legit)Are there many scams out there for it?
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
24 May 07
As long as your husband doesn't want you to work and is willing to work two jobs, I'd probably stay home and be with the kids. Have you thought about doing child care, since you are home with kids anyway? Maybe your husband could get by with one job if you did that, then he'd be home more. Also, there are lots of classes you could take online to further your education. I'm all for education, but with the ages your children are, I think it might be awfully hard on you right now.
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
24 May 07
I agree to a point. Which is why I am at home. BUt I don't see this as changing inthe future. It is really hard on us which is why I am seeking some positive change. I just worry that if I can't figure a way to do it now, will it get much easier when they get older? Sorry to babble on the redundant. I think yuo are right. AS for the child care thing, I have thought about it. And Ihave a good friend who tried it, but she said the politics involved is not worth it. She strongly discourages it. But I think it might be a good option thank you
• Colombia
23 May 07
Maybe the problem you have is that the solution that you see for providing a better life for your children is to have a better job. You should focus on other ways in which you can provide a better future for them. For example, did you know that if you invested 2000 dollars now, every year for seven years on a variety of investments in the stock market, your kids would have almost half a million dollars when they are 21 ? You should focus the earning of your family on assets,so that you will achieve financial independence. This has nothing to do with getting a college education. You should also consider working and home jobs. Starting an ebay business, starting a webpage. There are many options that provide you with independence and financial freedom without leaving your house or having a formal job.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
24 May 07
I never knew that. I like that. I wouldn't mind starting an at home business I am just not too informed on what is really out there. What does an ebay business entail? I am not to computer literate yet to figure out how to do my own web page. And I don't have any money toinvest in a starter up. But I really do have the interest and time and focus. Just not the rest. Maybe in time, or with alittle help. Who knows. Thank you for the good options.
• United States
23 May 07
It is always good to improve oneself. Going to college would open the job market for you to get a very good job. It will be hard because you will miss being with the kids. It doesn't sound like your husband is very supportive of you and encouraging. Maybe he is one of these workaholics. If your family is willing to do this I would go ahead and do this. You are trying to improve yourself and your husband from the sound of it doesn't want you to although in mouth he says he is alright with you going to school. But is he truly alright with it or trying to hold you back.
1 person likes this
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
24 May 07
My family says the same thing. He is all for it as long as it doesn't affect his way of things right now. I don't know. I have tried for a few years to get this worked out. He seems to be stuck in the mindset of right now. He doesn't seem to focus on what could change for the future. Thanks for the good feedback. It really does help more than you can know.
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
24 May 07
You can look around online for colleges that offer online courses, especially for colleges in the state that you live in, so you won't be charged the out of state fees. My husband is currently going back to college to get his degree. You can do this while taking care of the kids and going to work. Just have to do a really good search, call around if you can.
@soadnot (1606)
• Canada
24 May 07
no, its not a "huge" problem. especially when dad comes home and everyone is extra nice to him. although they wouldn't be as attached to him, its not that bad, compared to kids who dont have parents...
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1489)
• United States
24 May 07
You could go to school online. Lots of people do that so that they can stay home with their children. You could also go to school at night when your husband is home to watch the children. Where there is a will there is a way. Some community colleges offer childcare facilities for the students. It provides the Early Child Development students with the children to observe for their classes and provides childcare to the other students. It is a win-win situation. Look into online schools. Many of them are state colleges. For instance, my friend is a criminal justice major and all her classes are online via Univerity of Texas. She never has to go to campus. She just moved to Florida and she is still going to school online via UT. Maybe that would help you get your educations, let you stay home and stay with your husband. It's a thought.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 07
My mother went to nursing school when I was a little older than your oldest son is now and if anything, it made our lives better in the long run. I was 11 1/2 and my sister had just turned 8 when my mom graduated and I know it was a lot of work for her, taking care of us and the house and going to school at the same time. But she and my dad made it through and I honestly think they made the right decision. Once my mother finished school, my parents didn't have to struggle so much to provide for us; in fact, they were even able to save enough to help us out when it came time for college. My mother went to school with young kids and you can too. And believe me, your kids will have a better life because of it, like I did. Good luck to you!