young mothers, or woman who had babies at a young age

United States
May 26, 2007 10:35am CST
ok so i want another baby, not right now, but i wouldnt mind being pregnant withing the next year. im just really afraid of what people will think.. what did you do to prepare yourself? i feel like i will never be ready for another one, altho i want one SO bad. financially how are/were you doing? my bfs mom doesn't want us to have another is.. well not right now anyways. he was talking to her about my friend being pregnant and she thought he was talking about me.. and like freaked out for a min. my dad thinks its wrong because we aren't married. we dont have a house. i still havent finished college, and soon will be getting bills for the loans. i REALLY want to be a SAHM for a few years, but i know that wont happen, knowing my bf doesn't have a high school diploma, making it hard for him to get a high paying job. altho hes on his way now. im just to doubtful with everything i want now a days. like knowing i would have graduated college this year, it just puts me down every time i think about it. ok anyways so all you young moms who have 2 kids, or are pregnant again, how did you know it was ok to have another?
2 people like this
7 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
26 May 07
well, I am a 'younger' mother, with two boys, and I stay at home, but we planned both pregnancies. I am married, and have been since before we got preggers. If it were me, i would wait. I can tell you, I thought It would be easy with two kiddos, but it more than multiplies the work. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but they are a handful at times. I think the hardest thing has been maintaing thier schedules, while dealing with Teething, potty training, and normal baby stuff. My 9 month old will prob. be walking w/in another month, and My almost 3 year old is pretty much potty trained, but there were a few months in there, where I didn't know how I would make it through. I think once the youngest is one, it'll be a lot easier, once he's walking, and able to talk better. potty training hasn't been the greatest either, imagine yourself running through walmart, with an infant in one arm, diaper bag, and toddler who has to go RIGHT NOW, in the other. It's not as much fun as you'd think. (: Having said all that, besides them being close in age, you are still young, and your relationship may not be as stable as you would like, to bring another baby into it. I would finish your education, help the boyfriend finish his, and get a good paying job. Save up some money, that way, when you do decide to have baby number 2, you have a little nest egg to fall back on, so maybe you can stay home a little longer. I always say there will never be perfect circumstances to bring a baby into the world, you'll never have enough money, or a big enough house, but I also think, that sometimes it IS better to wait a while. In the grand scheme of things, one more year (or 2) really won't make that much of a difference between your kids, but it could be a HUGE difference for your family, financially, and relationship wise. It's not going to hurt any to wait a few more years, trust me, we want one more, and often times I still feel myself get that "baby itch" but I really want to wait until my youngest is closer to three, hoping it will be a little easier on the whole family that way! (Here's hoping at least) (: Well, Good luck to you with whatever you decide, when it all boils down to it, it's your descision, you and your b.f. I'm sure will make a good one!
2 people like this
• United States
30 May 07
i don't know if i would be able to handle having 2 anymore. i think that it would be easier to have them farther apart. having kaylee put A LOT of stress on mine and my bf relationship, and it still is. everything with the baby changes so fast, adding all this extra stress. i think once we get established with us AND the baby.. then would be a better time to even think about it again
• United States
26 May 07
You know I could tell you what I would do if I could go back in time..I'm 45 now..had my first child at 18 my second child at 21..if I had it to do over I would have waited..get your education first..you didn't say how old you are so I assume very young..you have your whole life ahead of you..why do you want to do it now?..you already have a child to take care of ..did you know having another child will take away from this child you already have?..so finish college..get a good job..then do it..is my advice
2 people like this
• United States
30 May 07
i was 19 when i got pregnant and gave birth. just a month before my 20th birthday. yeah i defiantly think im going to wait. ive been thinking about it the past few days, and as bad as i want another, i want to be able to enjoy my daughter as much as i can, and give her 99% of my attention. i need to get my schooling strait, cause thats what i really want, and NEED to do.
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
27 May 07
There's nothing wrong with wanting another baby because it shows that you are willing to take responsibilities. As you know raising a child is not that easy. I think you should consider a lot of things before having another one. First, is if you are financially ready, you have to consider that seriously. You don't want your child to suffer when he/she's out right? Also, try to finish your schooling first because that will help you a lot in earning a good job. It's gonna be hard finishing school if you'll have another baby unless you are super rich that you can afford nannies and go to school. I am not saying that you should not have a baby at this point. What I am saying is you need to consider your stability first so to make sure that the future of the baby is secured. Make an objectives/goals list and then check which is your most priority then make a decision :).Good luck!!
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
27 May 07
I had my daughter when I was 19 and my son when I was 23. When I had my second baby I was married to a guy with a secure job and I knew we would always have a paycheck coming in! I was working too but quit after the baby was born. If your boyfriend can get a job and support you and your first baby then consider having another one. I am sure if you did get pregnant ya'll would figure out a way to make it! Do ya'll live on your own now without help from anyone else? It is hard taking care of two kids instead of one, just think about the monthly expenses that will double, diapers, food, clothes, and if you have enough money now to be able to take care of another baby. It is alot different taking care of two kids!! Just try to consider everything envolved and if you would be able to handle it!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 07
I had just turned 19 when my first was born, my second baby came 20 months later one week after my 21st birthday! Both my babies were not planned, I love them so much but I wasn't ready for them, I am planning on doing college online by the fall. Having 2 is very hard especially when they are close in age. If you are prepared financially and can take care of 2 small children then it is your choice. We struggle a lot, both girls still wear diapers I am working with my oldest on potty training but its not progressing that well.
1 person likes this
@latsmom (824)
26 May 07
Well I think that the decision to have another is down to your husband, yourself and good timing, not to do with anyone else and I think that what other people think is good to take on board but ultimately take it as advice not orders, you are a mum already to one child and I don't think that having another will necesarally make it all that much more expensive, it will put extra work onto you but then if you are prepared for that i don't see the problem. However iff you really are in hardship ther\n it woudl not be fair to any of your already existing family for you to have another until you are in a financial situation where you can support them. If you are really down about graduating maybe you could go back and do that then try for another, at least then your youngest will be a bit less reliant on you and then you will also have the sense of achievement, although to be honest I gained most of my qualifications after giving birth not before, would your government fund the crech while you study, as the ones in the uk are good and will pay for childcare while you go back to study and also a large percentage when you return to work. if they won't help then maybe it woudl be best to wait till you are more financially secure adn enjoy watching your child you already have grow up. trust me they grow up so quickly adn pass that reliant stage before you know it so make the most of it. I know that you will make the right decision as it seems from what you ahev put already in your postthat you have pretty much answered your own question. Good luck hun. x
1 person likes this
@jothis (519)
• India
27 May 07
i think it is only up to you that you can take a decission to have a child more. so first of all you have to think that is it possible for you to look after the baby whi is coming to you soon